Fearless
by ForeverTreasure
Summary: Bella lives the perfect life. Loving parents, caring boyfriend, good friends and good grades...but she's bored. Then along comes bad-boy-live-in-the-moment-spontaneous Edward Cullen with his cold hard exterior and sexy leather jacket. He's her opposite and she's intrigued. Maybe while trying to crack the code that is Edward he can show her how to let go of her fear and really live.
1. Bored

**First chapter of my new story. There will be both more chapters and longer ones than in my first story, Spooked. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter One  
Bored

BEEP BEEP BEEP.

An annoying noise was sounding around my room, jolting me from my peaceful slumber from which I had not wanted to leave.

My hand reached blindly for the machinery that was going to meet its end and my fingers grasped around the truly hideous invention that was my alarm clock. I threw it to the floor with a satisfying crash and the beeping stopped.

I burrowed deeper into the warmth of my duvet settling down again to continue the marvellous dream I had been having when suddenly the voice of my father rang up the stairs, through the gap under my bedroom door and unfortunately reached my ears.

"Bella, I'm leaving for work now. Better get up, you don't want to be late. I'll see you tonight at the diner." This was followed by the harsh slam of the front door and tyres crunching over gravel as Charlie left the driveway of our house for Forks Police Station.

I groaned. Looked like Mr Darcy's proposal to me was going to have to wait. Reality had come knocking.

I stumbled out of bed, stubbing my toe on the corner of my desk and hopped my way to the bathroom as I did every morning, scratching my brown head of hair with a yawn.

I glanced out of my bedroom window as I passed and the sky…well, there was no sky. It was hidden by the cover of grey, gloomy clouds as it always was.

I sighed as I got ready for school, pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a blue V-neck sweater, Alice would kill me if I turned up to school in plain jeans and a hoodie a second time in the space of a week. My best friend was a spiky black haired, blue-eyed tiny ball of dynamite in the disguise of a seventeen-year-old girl named Alice Brandon. She may look like a fairy but she was lethal when armed with her dad's little black credit card and high heels.

Her other obsession, besides shopping and playing Bella Barbie, was her boyfriend of two years – Jasper Whitlock. He, too, was a friend of mine and thank god for him. I would be forever in his debt due to the amount of times he'd saved me from Alice by distracting her and his superhero worthy power of being able to calm her down. He was a miracle worker, literally. The poor guy had suffered through his own fair share of Alice's makeover moods though; he wasn't completely without war wounds. His curly honey locks had been straightened several times and he'd been tested for what type of eye shadow would match his hazel eyes.

Well…no one would dare question his love for her that was for sure.

Jasper's best friend, Emmett McCarty, was a friend of mine also. He was a big, burly bear of a guy and if you got on the wrong side of him, you'd run. But he was a big softie really and completely and totally madly in love with Rosalie Hale.

Rose was the definition of stunning. Look it up in the dictionary and there would be a picture of her. Golden waves floating like a waterfall down her back and sparkling blue eyes, forget Cinderella, Rose was Prince Charming's closet fantasy. She had this tough badass front that she put on but those who knew her knew she couldn't hurt anyone if she tried. She claimed Emmett's big lovable bear side was a bad influence on her.

We all attended Forks High School, where I had met the four of them after I decided to come and live with Charlie, my dad, when my mom, Renee, remarried. Phil was nice, but he travelled a lot and Renee liked to go with him. Despite my parents divorce my family was pretty perfect. Renee and Phil would come and stay with Charlie and me for holidays and we would do the same with them. There was no awkward tension between Charlie and Phil, in fact, they got on like a house of fire.

Unfortunately, due to my parents actual like of each other, probably a result of living three hours apart and not _with_ each other – Renee lived in Seattle, this meant that they agreed a lot of things that concerned me. Which sucked. Because Charlie was a cop. And cops were strict. But lucky for me there wasn't much to do around Forks anyway. There was the occasional party but that was usually Alice's, which meant I was allowed to go if I promised to be back by ten.

It was a good thing Charlie liked my boyfriend or I might never have been allowed to see him, let alone date him.

Jacob Black. My dad had known him since the day he was born and was his best friend's son – so no problems there. I think that was the main reason we got together. We were really good friends, around each other 24/7 due to our fathers being besties, it felt like the right thing to do. Jake was a year younger than me, which my friends continuously made fun of but I didn't see anything wrong with it. He looked like he was about five years older than me anyway. He had short dark hair and, I'm not going to beat around the bush, his tanned body was totally buff. Like, eight pack buff. His muscles, added to the fact that he was really tall, meant that I could hardly fit my arms around him. He was a total gentleman, though. Always opening doors, all "yes sir"s and "no sir"s around Charlie even though my dad had known him in diapers. It was just a shame he didn't come to Forks High.

Jake went to school on the Quileute Reservation in La Push. Charlie thought it a good thing that we didn't go to the same school so Jake had no chance of affecting my grades.

Ha! Like anything could affect my grades. I was a straight A student and the teachers loved me. I was a _good girl_. I was the student they believed would increase their statistics. I was top in all of my classes…well, all but gym. I was a total klutz but at least they weren't still using the lie that you need at least a B in Gym to get into college like they told Renee. Yeah, she cut class a lot. Not to mention dropped out of school to have me.

When I was ready for school I jumped into my red Chevy truck. This was another thing that my friends laughed at but I couldn't give a damn, I loved The Thing. Yes, my friends had dubbed it, The Thing, when Charlie had brought it for my sixteenth.

With a loud roar that never failed to make me jump I pulled out of the driveway and headed to Forks High, ready to begin another day.

"Bella!" Alice squealed, skipping to me and embracing me as I hopped out the cab of my truck.

She and the others had all been sat on a bench waiting for my arrival along with the bell.

"Hey, Alice," I returned her hug.

"Ooh, cute sweater."

"Alice, you bought the thing," I rolled my eyes.

She looked at me as though I had said something that was blatantly obvious. "Of course I did. If I left you to buy your own clothes you'd have a wardrobe full of hoodies and sweats."

"Which is exactly why I picked this out while thinking of you. Knowing you'd shoot me if I wore another…dare I say it? A hoodie. Oh the horror!" I gasped dramatically, the back of my hand pressed to my forehead in mock distress.

"Oh shush," Alice smiled at my antics as we made out way over to our friends, "You know, speaking of hoodies, I think another shopping trip is in order."

"Oh, please no." I groaned.

"What's up, Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Your girlfriend. She's threatening me with a shopping trip. Save me."

Jasper chuckled and pulled Alice to him, his arms wrapped around her waist.

Emmett was sitting on the table top of the bench, Rose leaning against him who was eyeing my truck.

"No." I told her.

She grinned, "Oh Bella, please, just let me tinker with it for a little while. The sound it made when you parked it was totally not healthy."

"Rose, you've been saying the same thing for about a year now. There's nothing wrong with my truck. Leave it alone. What has it ever done to you?"

"Existed?" Emmett offered with a smirk.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'd stop saying it if you just let me tinker with it a bit." Rose sulked.

"You know you can tinker with me anytime, baby," Emmett waggled his eyes and I pretended to gag.

"What does that even mean?" Jasper laughed.

"Well, whatever it means Rose apparently approves." Alice giggled covering Jasper's eyes as Rosalie sat herself on Emmett's lap and began a heavy make-out session.

"Would you look at that? Saved by the bell," I dashed away from Rose and Emmett, Jasper and Alice quickly following. We could hear the overly active PDA couple laughing behind us.

It was just another day at Forks High.

"How was your day?" Jacob asked me as we sat in the diner with Billy, waiting for Charlie.

I nodded, "It was okay. Got an A in my Biology test. Mr Berty, my English teacher, wants to move me into the advanced class. Oh, and what would my day have been like if I wasn't able to witness Emmett and Rose and their PDA?" I chuckled.

Jake shook his head, "It's really inappropriate of them to do that. Really inconsiderate."

I frowned. I know I complained about it but I was only joking. What was wrong with showing a bit of spontaneous affection to your significant other? Sure, I guess it might have been nice if they toned it down sometimes but that's just who they were, Rose and Em wouldn't have been Rose and Em if they went without their make-out sessions.

"How was your day?" I asked, instead of commenting. I just kept my mouth closed. Jake and I never got into fights, I can't remember a single argument we had ever had. I wasn't about to start arguing now.

Jake shrugged, "Fine, I guess."

Charlie turned up a little while later and we all had a peaceful meal without any disruption and nothing of significance occurred.

Just another evening at the diner.

Billy and Jacob came round ours after we had eaten and the men sat and watched football or something while I sat on the floor, my books all over the coffee table as I completed homework that wasn't due in until next week.

When it started to get late they decided it was time to go and I stood at the door with Jake, Billy already in the car and Charlie had returned to the television.

I stood on tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck to press a kiss on his lips. I tried to deepen it a little but he pushed me away after a chaste kiss before murmuring a goodbye, brushing his lips against my cheek and heading to the car.

"Bye." I called after her him.

Yeah, Jake was a gentleman. Sometimes too much of a gentleman. Was it really wrong of me to want to have more than just completely innocent kisses? Was it wrong of me to want a little bit of PDA and the joy of being able to show off my boyfriend a little? Was it wrong to want to see fireworks behind my eyes when he tugged me close to his body and slipped a bit of tongue into the kiss?

I shook my head. God, what _was_ wrong with me? Who the hell had ever complained that their boyfriend was a complete and utter charming gentleman? They were a dying race and I was actually complaining! Jeez.

I waved them off before closing the front door and telling Charlie I was going to bed.

As I got changed into a really old pair of pyjama shorts and a ratty t-shirt I thought about my day. It was much like yesterday. And the day before that. It was much like all of last week. Last month. Last year.

Sure, I had a pretty perfect family. Prefect friends, perfect boyfriend, perfect grades. I had the perfect life.

And I was bored.

* * *

**There you have it. This is definitely one of the shorter chapters.**

**Review :)**


	2. Biology Sucks

**So, second chapter. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Two  
Biology Sucks

"Oh. Em. Gee." Alice said as she sat down in the seat next to Jasper in the cafeteria. "Have you guys heard?"

"Heard what?" Emmett asked as he eyed Rosalie's chocolate muffin. Oh yeah, not only was she stunning but she could eat whatever the hell she wanted and put on zero pounds.

"About the new guy?"

"There's a new guy?" Rose wondered, taking a big bite of her muffin all the while watching Emmett as he pouted. She smirked.

"Uh, yeah! He was in my Spanish class. And wow. Just wow."

"Are you actually going to explain?" I asked Alice, twirling spaghetti around my fork.

She rolled her eyes, "He's like totally hot. The hottest thing since fourth of July!"

Jasper cleared his throat, staring at his girlfriend in disbelief while the rest of us snickered.

"You're the exception, sweetie," Alice cooed, kissing his cheek to appease him, "No one's hotter than you."

I cleared my throat teasingly and they laughed.

Then Alice continued, "Not only is he hot, he's like, badass."

It was Rose's turn to look affronted. We all just stared back at her.

"We all know you're not as tough as you like to think you are." Alice said. "Anyways, I heard from –"

"Jessica." We all filled in.

"Yeah, I heard from her that he's been to twelve different school in the last three years – he was kicked out of all of them."

"_All_ of them?" I gaped, "What for?"

"Loads of different things. Doing drugs on the school premises. Just not turning up to class, like, ever. Jess reckons he was caught, you know, doing the deed, on top of one of his teachers' desks!"

Emmett let out a low whistle then frowned at Rose, "How come we've never done that."

She slapped his arm playfully while the rest of us groaned and chided him.

"AND!" Alice cried out, "Apparently he's been in trouble with the police loads of times for like underage drinking and drink driving and stuff."

"Sounds like a complete jerk." I muttered.

Alice nodded, "Yeah. Just now in Spanish, Mrs Goff asked him a question and just glared at her, then stared out the window again. If looks could kill the woman would be dead ten times over. And now she's, like, scared of him. Can't blame her though, if he had looked at _me_ like that…" She trailed off with a shudder and Jasper put him arm around her shoulders.

"He would have received an ass kicking." He winked at her but we all knew he was serious. No one messed with Alice without having to deal with Jasper. The same with Rose and Emmett.

Alice didn't laugh, "Don't get on the wrong side of him, Jazz. Don't start anything. I mean it. He looks dangerous.

"Wouldn't look as dangerous with me standing next to him." Emmett grinned smugly.

Rose glared at him, "Don't even think about it."

He pouted. It was hilarious how these girls had their men wrapped completely round their little fingers. "Just how it's meant to be." Alice had told me on several occasions. Especially in conversations when the subject of Jacob came up.

The bell sounded and we all groaned. Rosalie and Alice went to their History class and Emmett and Jasper went to Gym.

I was heading to Biology when I heard, "Bella, wait up!" I spun round to see Angela Weber. She was a nice girl, quiet and reserved around people she didn't know very well but a really fun person to be with when you got to know her. She also wasn't constantly trying to nose her way into your business like _some_ people. I glanced at Jessica and Lauren as they passed.

"Hey," I smiled, "Haven't seen you around lately. Where've you been?"

"Oh, my cousin had a wedding and made everyone fly out to LA for it, and I had to go because she made me a brides maid," she rolled her eyes.

I laughed, "LA, though? That must have been fun."

She shook her head, "Sadly I didn't get to see much of it what with Bridezilla always breathing down my neck." She laughed, "But I got to spend a lot of time with Ben, so that was good."

I watched her as she smiled giddily, her and Ben Cheeney, a cute looking chess club nerd, were just starting out their new relationship and Angela was over the moon. She had told me how long she had been crushing on him and she knew he liked her too, but when he didn't say anything she took matters into her own hands. They had been inseparable ever since. I was shocked Angela had been the one to make the first move; I never would have been able to do it. I hadn't even been able to do that with Jake and we had been friends for years before we even started going out.

"That sounds nice." I told her.

She nodded, "So, have you done the assignment Mr Banner set?"

"Yep, did it ages ago." My usual response to any question of the kind.

"I really should have done that and got it out of the way. I was up half the night doing it. Completely forgot about it with the wedding and everything."

Looked to me as though Angela had a life. I hated the fact that I felt the need to do all homework I couldn't even leave it to the last minute, I would completely panic. And it's not like I had much else to do anyway. It was just part of the mundane routine I called life. Go home, do homework, hang out with Jake, make dinner, eat dinner and go to bed. Perfect.

"So have you heard about the new guy?" She asked.

I nodded, "Jessica told Alice."

"Surprise, surprise," Angela said sarcastically.

I laughed but stopped immediately as we entered the biology lab and saw who was sitting in the empty seat next to my own. Angela exchanged a heavy glance with me and gave me an almost apologetic look as she went to sit in her seat next to Mike.

So this was the new guy. Alice had been right. He was hot. Like in a rebel, devil-may-care kind of way. He had bronze bed head that looked totally cool on him but if anyone else tried to pull it off they'd fail, miserably. His emerald green eyes were glinting with menace and his gorgeous face held an intimidating expression, scowling at other kids in the room. To be fair to him though it couldn't have been nice to have people staring at you and blatantly whispering about you in what they thought was a discreet fashion. I should know. I had been the new kid once. He wore scruffy dark jeans and a grey t-shirt over which was a sexy leather jacket that screamed "bad boy".

Okay, I was lusting a little after the guy, so sue me.

I stumbled over and sat down in my chair and he looked up from staring out of the window, like he really didn't want to be here, and glared at me. I blushed. What the hell had I done wrong? I could only think of my daydreaming about him and I prayed to god he couldn't read minds.

"What the fuck?" He hissed.

Oookay. Not going to lie. I was terrified.

I frowned in confusion as his eyes bored into mine and I had to look away, I felt like he was shooting lasers at me with them or something. I flushed harder. But not responding to him seemed to make the guy angrier.

"I said what. The. Fuck?" He growled at me like I was retarded. And honestly, under his stare, I thought I was too.

"What?" I questioned timidly, my voice hardly above a whisper.

"What the hell are you sitting here for? Go sit somewhere else."

Oh trust me, if I could, I would.

"I'm not allowed." I murmured. "Its assigned seating in this class…" I trailed off as he glowered at me.

"What's the matter? Scared of the teacher?"

No I'm scared of you. When I didn't answer and just turned to my notes he seemed to give up with the argument and instead resorted to name-calling.

"Bitch." He muttered under his breath.

I gasped. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I'd had enough of him.

"Look, if you don't like it, you can move but I'm not going to let you push me out of my own seat. I was here first. You can't just bully people and shove them around just to get your own way." I huffed, folding my arms and leaning them on the table to emphasise that I wasn't going anywhere.

He just stared at me, seeming amused with my little rant. "Sure I can. It works all the time."

"Yeah, well not with me it doesn't."

His mouth parted a little in shock – I was a little surprised with myself too, where had that come from? – and all I could think about was what his lips would feel like pressed against mine. _Stop it, Bella._ I thought. _Remember Jake, your boyfriend. _

But it was like I was having and internal dispute with myself because the other half of me thought: _what boyfriend? He doesn't even make-out with you let alone other stuff!_ _I bet bad boy over there would make-out with you._

Oh my god! What the hell was wrong with me?

"What's the matter with you, princess? Sexually frustrated?" He smirked.

Gah! I wanted to scream. He was so infuriating. More so because he was so close to the truth and he didn't even know it.

He chuckled at my outraged expression and I wanted to hit him. Or kiss him. Whichever, I wasn't fussed.

Dear god Bella! Jake, Jake, Jake, think of your boyfriend. Jake, Jake, Jake…I wonder what bad boy's name was? Argh! Jake, Jake, JAKE.

"Okay, everyone settle down." Mr Banner finally started the class and thankfully interrupted my inner battle. "We have a new student with us today his name is Edward Cullen. Edward, why don't you tell us a bit about yourself?"

Edward gave Mr Banner a death glare.

Mr Banner chuckled nervously, "A little shy? No worries. How about we just start the class?"

When the lesson finished I looked down at my book to find the page completely blank. Screw you Edward Cullen. My mind had been so consumed with him I hadn't written a single word. Said guy watched me with a smirk after Mr Banner told us our notes would be important for the test coming up.

"Aw, looks like teacher's pet is gonna fail."

I glanced at his own book and saw that he hadn't even opened it. "Looks like you will, too."

"Like I give a shit." He scoffed. Edward packed his things away and was heading out the classroom when he looked back at me over his shoulder and said, "There's a cure for your little problem we spoke of earlier. It's called masturbating. Sex is usually better but," he looked me up and down, "you'd have to take the pole out your ass before anyone would want to fuck you."

I blushed furiously as he laughed and left the room.

I had a feeling Biology was soon to become one of my least favourite subjects.

* * *

**Couldn't resist putting a bit of mind reading in there! As you can see this story is just a little more mature than Spooked so be warned. It's rated M for a reason.**

**Again, this is one of the shorter chapters, they get longer, I swear. **

**Bad boy Eddie along with his sexy leather jacket for those who review ;) A link to said bad boy in jacket is on my profile. **


	3. I Can't Read You

**Another chapter, I'm really excited about this story I hope you all like it, too. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Three  
I Can't Read You

I sat on the floor in my bedroom strumming my guitar aimlessly. It helped me think and my thoughts were so jumbled and confused at the moment I needed all the help I could get.

Two words. Edward. Cullen.

He was just so, completely, utterly and intolerably infuriating. I couldn't seem to wrap my head around him, I didn't understand him at all. One second he was being a total jackass the next he seemed like a perfectly normal person who was actually capable of holding a civil conversation.

It had been three days since he had first sat next to me in Biology and our interactions in those lessons had become more and more puzzling. The second time Edward had hardly spoken to me at all and I was just as happy to ignore him. But then he shocked me to the point where I was literally incapable of speech. And all it had taken was six little words.

"Can I borrow a pen please?" He asked.

I stared, gaping. He stared back until I jumped out of my stupor and reached into my bag to get a spare pen. Then, as if I wasn't dumbfounded enough, he took the pen from me and mumbled a, "Thank you."

His normal behaviour seemed to get a little too much for him and he hissed at me, not five minutes later, "What the bloody hell are you gaping at? Need me to fill your mouth with something?"

The scathing sexual innuendo was not lost on me and once again, I blushed, embarrassed. Looked like Edward Cullen The Asshat was back.

I shook my head, playing around with chords; I had thought for sure that I had witnessed a once-in-a-lifetime experience – Edward Cullen being civil. But he continued to surprise me.

The next day I had sat in the biology lab pondering Edward's strange behaviour the when I heard my name and looked up to see Mr Banner watching me, expectantly.

Crap. He'd obviously asked a question I hadn't heard. This was a situation I had never been in before, I always paid attention, I always knew the answer, yet here I was, completely stumped because of the exasperating boy sitting beside me.

"Erm…"

I thought I was going to have to tell him that I didn't know. He'd probably send me to see the school nurse, thinking I must have hit my head or something. Bella Swan unable to answer a question? It was unheard of.

Then, to my surprise, Edward whispered the answer in my ear and my immediate reaction was to blurt it out in my panic of this strange circumstance but the second the words had passed my lips I realised that maybe he had given me the wrong answer to make me look like an idiot.

"That is correct." Mr Banner said before turning back to the board.

I looked at Edward but he had his eyes on his book where he was doodling so it was beyond me how he even knew the answer to start with. He wasn't even paying attention.

At the end of the lesson I tried to thank him but he bolted out of his chair and was out of the room before anyone else.

Today had been the strangest of all. As I entered the biology lab I looked to my desk to find it still empty. I breathed a sigh of relief. I never knew what to expect with him, and for all I knew he could be back to the Edward I knew on Monday, commenting on my apparently obvious sexual frustration. I ducked my head watching my feet, I couldn't even think about it without blushing. Then, out of nowhere, up popped a desk and I stumbled over its leg. I squeezed my eyes shut, preparing myself to meet the ground hard when suddenly gentle hands grabbed at my waist and the feeling of falling disappeared. I opened my eyes to see Edward, his large hands still gripping me, holding me securely. I blushed as he looked down at me, his jade green eyes dancing with amusement.

Lauren and Tyler, who were sitting at the desk I walked into – that would teach me for not watching where I was going – were snickering at my misfortune and Lauren muttered, "Clumsy cow," which I think she thought was under her breath. I blushed harder and ducked my head, you'd think I would have learned by now, hiding my face behind the curtain of my hair when I heard a low menacing growl say, "Don't know what you're laughing at Mallory, you can't even see the floor past your fake tits and Crowley can't seem to either. You got a little drool, you prick. Just there."

I looked up to see Edward tapping his chin at Tyler, who idiotically wiped frantically at his already clean face looking beyond embarrassed and Lauren looking both scared of Edward and disgusted at the boy beside her.

Edward and I moved to sit in our seats and I gave him a small uncertain smile, despite the fact that he was looking as smug as the cat that got the cream. His own mouth twitched in response, returning the smile as best he could before he tuned abruptly to face the front of the class and ignored me the rest of the lesson.

I continued to play my guitar fiddling with the chords until a tune I recognised sounded throughout the room and I began to sing softly to myself:

"I can't read you,  
I wish I knew what's going through your mind.  
Can't touch you, your heart's protecting,  
I get left behind.  
Can't read you.  
I wish I knew what's going through your mind.  
Can't touch you, your heart's protecting,  
I get left behind."

A throat clearing had my heart jumping to my throat. I stopped playing instantly and I opened my eyes, spinning round to find Jacob standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Jake," I gasped breathlessly, "You scared me."

He shook his head, a teasing smile on his face, "Think you can sing, Bells?" I knew he was only teasing.

I quirked an eyebrow, "I know I can." I winked, cockily.

He chuckled, shaking his head again, coming to sit on the floor beside me.

"You may laugh Jacob Black, but when I'm famous, selling records and rolling in the big bucks while you're at home, and when I'm buying you cars and Rolex's because I want my boy to have pretty things that make him happy," I cooed, pinching his cheek, "Think, who'll be laughing then."

He guffawed loudly, "Please. You? In the music industry? You'd never survive it. You haven't got what it takes."

I was stung. He had been teasing before but his tone now made me think he was truly laughing at me, and his words gave me the impression that that was what he really thought of me. That I wasn't strong enough. I knew I had been messing around, I _knew_ there was no way I could ever pursue a career in music, despite that having been my childhood dream, it was a silly childish fantasy. But I thought I had at least some talent. I thought I could play and sing well. I was wounded.

"Come on," he said casually, pushing himself up from the floor and holding out his hand out to me, "Charlie's downstairs, he wants to know if you want to order pizza."

I let him help me up and hold my hand as we made our way downstairs, talking about some prank he and Quil had pulled on Embry today, but I was only half listening. The other half of me was hurt that he seemed so blasé about the comment he had made and thought nothing of it, let alone not even realising that what he had said had affected me. But then again, I had always been good at hiding my feelings. It was second nature to me. Not a single person would guess how bored and unhappy I was with my perfect life.

As Charlie, Jacob and I sat at the table, munching on pizza – I had agreed to order, I didn't feel much like cooking – the topic of Edward Cullen came up. It seemed the guy could never escape my mind these days.

"How's that new kid? The horrible one you told me about the other day." Jacob asked, "He given you any trouble?"

I shook my head with a frown. I know it sounded terribly cliché but I was starting to think perhaps Edward was just seriously misunderstood. I mean, he had a good side to him, I had seen that much. So something must have happened to have made him become the way that he was.

"What horrible new kid?" Charlie asked abruptly, immediately on alert.

"Edward Cullen. He's not horri-"

Jake interrupted me, "Apparently he even scares the teachers."

"Oh, I've heard of him," Charlie's face held a sour expression, "I want you to stay away from him, Bells. From what I've heard from the guys at the station he's been on the wrong side of the law many a time."

"What's he done?" Jake asked.

"Underage drinking. Drugs. Speeding. Drink driving. Disturbing the peace. What hasn't he done?" Charlie scoffed, scowling and shaking his head in disgust.

"And his parents just let him run wild?"

Charlie shook his head, "Not at all. His parents are really nice. Good people. I've met them. His father, Carlisle Cullen, is a doctor and his wife Esme was an interior designer before she had their second child. Kate, I think her name is. They actually moved here in hope that it would calm their boy down. You know, small town, not much to do."

Jacob rolled his eyes, "I'm sure he'll find something."

Charlie barked a laugh, "Well, I'd like to get the chance to arrest him for something. The little punk wouldn't dare try anything after I'm done with him."

"It'll only be a matter of time, Charlie." Jake laughed and Charlie joined in.

I scowled at the pizza on my plate, picking at the toppings. They didn't even know him. How could they be so judgemental without even meeting the guy? Then I sighed at my own hypocrisy. I had done exactly the same thing when Alice had told us all everything she knew about him, _and _that information had come from _Jessica Stanley_ no less. What did that say about me? And why was I so defensive of Edward when I had come to the same conclusion about him after everything Alice said, that Charlie and Jake had? That Edward was a bad person.

Maybe it was because I wanted to work him out, unravel the mystery that was Edward Cullen before people made snap judgments about him. I couldn't deny the fact that his behaviour this past week had made me curious. He intrigued me. Maybe it was because he had shown me a little bit of the person he could be, the softer side of him that he didn't seem to want people to know about. Maybe it was because I believed that he could be that person if he just got over whatever it was that had made him act so angry and rebellious all the time. But I, frustratingly, didn't know what that was.

I just couldn't read him.

The next day at school I was treated with a surprise, and I still wasn't quite sure if it was a pleasant surprise or a nasty one.

It was nearing the end of our Biology lesson and everyone was beginning to get restless, wanting to get out of here already but Mr Banner was still droning on and on, without even a hint that it was coming to an end, about photosynthesis or something. I didn't really know, I wasn't paying attention. I found that since being seated next to Edward I never seemed to be able to focus on Biology and that my thoughts were always on him.

Today he had gone back to ignoring me. I wondered why. We had been asked to complete some worksheet or something in pairs but Edward just stared out of the window while I filled it out.

"Alright," Mr Banner clapped his hands together, looking up at the clock, "It's nearly the end of the lesson but before I let you go I have your new assignment. It's more of a project really. The exciting thing is, you get to decide what it's on." He paused. I think he was expecting more of a reaction than the blank faces staring up at him. What was he anticipating? Whoops and cheers at being given a project to do? He continued, "It can be on any unit of work that we have covered, I want a presentation and a write up of your project, due in for two weeks time. You will also be working in pairs."

The class started murmuring and muttering as people locked eyes with who they wanted to work with.

"Wait, wait, wait," Sir held his hands up, "Before you start determinedly deciding your pairs I'm going to have to burst your bubble. You will be working with the person next to you. So I suggest you exchange phone numbers or e-mails or singing birds-"

"Twitter, sir." Someone groaned, detesting a teacher trying to relate to us.

"Well, whatever it is you kids do just make sure you do it."

It wasn't until I began packing my things away that I registered what this meant. I was going to be working with Edward. We were going to have to meet up outside of school time. Edward Cullen may be coming round my house…with Charlie there. My dad. A cop. A cop who hated Edward. But then I realised, maybe I'd be able to find out more about him. This was my chance to work him out, a chance to finally get him out of my head, once and for all.

I glanced up at him, a small smile on my face at my new revelation when I was greeted with an angry glare.

I should have known it wasn't going to be that easy.

* * *

**So Bella and Edward are being forced to spend time together. Should be fun :)**

**Review!**


	4. Spontaneous

**Longest chapter yet. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Four  
Spontaneous

"So err…I guess we should, um, exchange numbers?" My declaration came out as a question and I sounded so unsure of myself that it was embarrassing.

Edward glanced over to me, his eyes still accusing as though I had planned this, he pulled his rucksack onto his shoulder, "Why?"

"Well, we need to know when to meet up and stuff this weekend to start the project."

"You're actually going to do that?" He asked me incredulously.

"Erm…yeah?"

"Of course," he muttered, "Of course I get stuck with the bloody teacher's pet. Why this weekend?" He directed the question to me as though I was unable to hear the first part, despite having me standing right next to him.

I shrugged, "Get it over and done with? There's loads to do and we don't even know what we're doing the project on."

He stared at me then rolled his eyes with a sigh, "Whatever," before he began to head out of the lab.

"Wait, I need your number."

"A little eager, Swan? Boyfriend not satisfying you?" He grinned cockily.

"I…no! Of course not…I…um…" I tripped over my words wondering if he really knew I was with Jacob. For some reason I didn't want him to know I had a boyfriend. I could feel my cheeks heating up.

"I'll call you." He said, walking out the door. I rushed after him.

"But you don't have my number."

"This is Forks, Swan, and your daddy is Chief of Police. I think I'll be able to get your number." He rolled his eyes and strode off down the corridor leaving me stuttering behind him.

"No!" Alice and Rose gasped as we sat on the sofa in Rosalie's living room. Her parents were out of town so we had the place to ourselves and we planned to watch movies and eat junk food. The boys had gone to get the food.

I nodded, "He said that he would call me."

"Oh my god." Alice said.

"I feel for you, Bells, I really do." Rose was shaking her head in sympathy.

"I cannot believe you got partnered with that jerk." Alice exclaimed.

I frowned a little at the "jerk" part but otherwise nodded again.

"So, what, you're going to go round his house or…?" Rose trailed off in question.

I shrugged, "I don't know. I doubt Charlie will let me. He told me to stay away from Edward, he'll probably want Edward where he can see him." I grimaced.

"Bummer," Rose gave me a pitied look.

"I can't even begin to imagine what Jake's going to say about it. He hates Edward and he hasn't even seen him before." My tone was a little defensive.

Alice and Rose exchanged a look.

"What?" I asked when they didn't say anything. They looked at me warily. "Will you please tell me what's going on?"

Rose looked at Alice who nodded and Rose said slowly, "Jake and Edward _have_ met."

I stared. "What?"

"It was last night."

I shook my head, "Jake was with me last night, he had dinner with Charlie and me."

"I went to La Push beach last night with Emmett. Jake was having a bonfire with all his friends or something," Rose said and I remembered Jake saying something about that last night before he left. "Edward was there and they, um…they had a bit of an argument. Emmett had to break it up."

"Oh my god!" I gasped, "What happened? Did Jake hit him?" It shocked me how I was suddenly worried about Edward's welfare yet I didn't ask whether Jake was hurt. I shook my head, I'd have to think about that later.

"No," Rose said slowly, "But he tried to. Jake was actually the one who initiated it, which surprised me. If anything I thought Edward would try to throw the first punch. Anyways, all the boys were pointing and started getting rowdy, they must have known who Edward was and told Jacob. Jake went up to him and started talking about you, warning Edward to stay away from you. Edward was completely shocked and had no idea what Jake was talking about at first, then he said that he would do whatever he liked and that Jake couldn't tell him what to do. Jake shoved him and said something that I didn't hear and Edward pushed him back, it didn't get much further than that though before Emmett broke it up."

I gaped at my friends as they watched me, "Why the hell hasn't Jake told me about this, yet?"

Rose and Alice glanced at each other again but said nothing.

"Why do you think Edward didn't say anything about it today?" I wondered.

"You're on speaking terms?" Alice asked with a frown.

"Well, not exactly." I said thinking of Edward's silence today during lesson. Maybe that was why he started ignoring me again. And this was what he must have meant about my boyfriend and why the idea of Jake not satisfying me was so amusing to him. But I didn't have much time to ponder this before the boys returned with food and my thoughts were disrupted by mindless comedies and harmless banter and the crazy antics of my friends.

I was home by curfew and as I lay in bed I knew Jake and I would be having words this weekend, but all I could worry about was not if Jake had been harmed or provoked but if he had caused the different side of Edward to withdraw completely and that my chance of figuring him out may have been ruined.

It was Monday and I was not happy. Not only was it the beginning of what was to be yet another tedious week, added to that, my talk with Jake had not gone as well as I hoped. I was round his house and we were sitting watching television. Some car programme or something that he liked and only when the commercials came on were we allowed to talk.

"Rose told me she saw you at La Push beach the other day." I began.

Jake nodded indicating that he heard but I saw his body tense. He knew where this was going.

"She said Edward was there." I was offering him the chance to tell me himself but he still said nothing and I was tired of pulling teeth.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a fight with him?"

He looked at me sharply, "Is that was Rosalie said?" He snapped, "We didn't fight, I wanted a word with him."

"Well you weren't far off the fight. I heard Emmett had to break it up before it went any further."

Jake frowned and wouldn't look at me.

"Jacob?"

His voice was softer when he spoke again, "Was it so wrong of me to want to protect you? You told me the guy was a complete jerk after you sat next to him in your lesson and I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to hassle you. But instead of coming to me to talk about it first, you went to your friends and listened to their side of the story and then come to me accuse me of trying to start a fight."

I gasped, he was hurt and I guess from his point of view he had reason to be. I felt horribly guilty.

"Jake, I'm so sorry. I just…Rose told me and I just assumed." I sighed, "I assumed and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

He glanced at me and I gave him puppy dog eyes and a pout. He smiled. "Forgive me?"

He opened his arms to me and I moved closer to snuggle against his warm chest. He kissed the top of my head and I turned my face to kiss him before he faced the television.

I went home later that night, in time for curfew of course, feeling terribly guilty and not having achieved what I wanted at all. I didn't get my answer as to why Emmett had to break the pair of them up.

I slammed the door of the cruiser shut after muttering a "Goodbye" to Charlie, hoisted my bag onto my shoulder and stomped up to the school entrance.

Not only was it the start of a boring week along with the talk with Jake not going well, Edward hadn't called me to set up a time and a place to meet to start the project and I wasn't quite sure how to deal with that. I was angry, he had said he would call me and he didn't, and that also meant we would have to start the project later than planned meaning that we were already behind on the work that needed to be done. But I didn't know whether I could just walk up to him outside of lesson and outright ask him why he hadn't called. He never spoke to me outside of class and the interactions we shared in Biology were not always civil and were few and far between.

On top of all of that, I was late. I had completely missed my first lesson due to my truck not starting and I had to hitch a ride with Charlie in the cruiser, which is always beyond embarrassing and annoying. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop – which added to my tardiness and already sour mood.

I stormed down the corridor to my English lesson, stewing over my misfortunes and wondering if this was a reflection of the week to come when I turned the corner and crashed into something hard. That something had arms that grabbed at me to stop me falling onto my backside and it occurred to me that maybe this something was actually a some_one_. My suspicions were confirmed when a smug and far too familiar chuckle reached my ears.

"Still stumbling over that cherry of yours, Swan?"

I blushed crimson before looking up to meet the eyes of deep forests I knew I would see. His cocky smirk and arrogant expression along with his idiotic cool hair and stupid sexy leather jacket and ridiculous gorgeous face made me fume and my anger boiled to the surface and I found myself glaring hostilely up at him, my hands clenched in fists to stop myself from hitting him and biting my lip to stop myself from kissing him. How dare he suggest I was still a virgin. Even if it was true. How dare he not call me when he said he would. How dare he look so damn hot when I was so damn angry with him. Couldn't he just look bad once? Just _once_?

He opened his mouth – probably to say something asswipe-like again but I beat him to it.

"You're a liar." I bent to pick up my bag as he stared at me, stunned.

"W-"

"You're a liar, you're arrogant, you're selfish and you're mean. And I don't like you." I pushed my finger into his chest with every horrible adjective I could think of and he backed away with each tap until my path was clear and I stormed down the corridor.

"Wait," he said.

Don't turn around. Keep walking, keep walking, for god's sake keep walking. I stopped. I turned. Idiot.

"I'm not a liar." He frowned as though I had really hurt him in some way.

"Ha!" I scoffed, "Well, maybe I just wasn't in when you called. Or maybe, I didn't receive your message."

Now he just looked confused, "Why would I call you?"

I gaped, "I don't know." I said sarcastically, "Maybe because you said you would? On Friday." When he still looked at me blankly I said, "About the project." I watched as what I was talking about dawned on him.

"I forgot," he shrugged. No apology, no excuse, nothing.

"You forgot?" I sneered.

"Yes. Unlike some people I actually have a life and I have other stuff to deal with that's more important than fucking homework." He glared.

I glared back. The comment about having a life had hit me hard. Probably because it was true and he knew it. It was blatantly obvious to someone, who was practically a stranger, that I had no life whatsoever outside of school, or Jacob and my friends. That I had no commitments that were more important than homework and good grades. And suddenly, I wanted to know how he knew.

I must have stood just staring at him as I thought this over because he interrupted my reverie with, what I was shocked to find, a look of remorse on his face.

"I'm sorry," it looked like it pained him to say the word. The way it sounded in his mouth it was as though he had never said it before and was trying it out. "That was harsh."

All I did was nod and turn away, still wondering how a stranger could tell so much about me from so few conversations – if you could even call them that – than someone who had been in my life for what seemed like forever.

I sensed rather than heard his approach and found him walking beside me when I looked up.

"Look, why don't we go start on that thing now?" He asked.

I frowned, "The project?"

"Yeah, that shit." He seemed encouraged that I spoke to him and turned and started heading the way I had come. It took him a few seconds to realise I wasn't following and he glanced back at me, "Come on."

"We can't." I stated slowly not understanding what he meant.

"Why not?" He asked just as slowly though in a way that sounded like he was talking to a retard.

"We have lessons. I'm already late as it is."

He stared, "I'm still not understanding your problem."

"You're suggesting we ditch?"

He nodded patronisingly until comprehension dawned on his face, "You've never ditched before?" He seemed astounded that I had never broken such a rule. "Why?"

"Because we're not allowed to."

He eyed me before asking, "Do you always do as your told?"

I nodded, thinking nothing of it.

He made his way over to me and took my bag from me before turning back and moved in the direction of the parking lot.

"What are you doing?" I hissed because I couldn't shout, worried it would attract attention from the classrooms along the corridor.

"Trust me," he said loudly, having no such problem, "This will be good for you."

I stumbled after him to the parking lot where we reached his shiny, silver Volvo, fretting the entire way. He opened the passenger door after throwing our bags into the back, "Ladies first," he smirked. Had he not been so overconfident about it and had I not been so terrified at being caught and wanted to jump in the car before anyone saw me, I would have commented on his gentlemanly manners. He laughed as I clambered in before shutting the door and making his way over to the driver's side.

He pulled smoothly out of the parking lot as I sunk as low in the chair as I could. "What are you doing?" He wondered, watching me, bemused.

"Making sure no one can see me."

"I'd be worried if anyone saw you like that too, you look like an idiot."

I glared at him but straightened up, glancing out the window warily, "Where are we going?"

"Just a place I know." He seemed very blasé about the whole situation and it was making me very uneasy.

"We're not going past the police station are we?" I fretted.

He shook his head with a laugh, "No, don't worry, daddy dearest won't see you."

I glared at him, "We are going to work on the project right?"

"Of course," he said, "What else would we do while ditching school and making more free time for ourselves? Have fun? Don't be so ridiculous."

"Are you taking the piss out of me?"

He looked over at me, his eyes wide, "Wow," he chuckled. "And here I was thinking I wouldn't live to see the day Bella Swan uttered a curse word."

I rolled my eyes at him and stared out the front window.

We got to wherever he was taking us and I frowned. He pulled into the parking lot of the diner. I grabbed his arm as he was about to get out, "Edward, we can't go in there. The people who work there know who I am, they'll tell my dad." I said frantically.

He stared down at my hand and I quickly let go of him, "Relax," he said, exasperated, "We aren't going in." He got out and shut the door and stood waiting for me to do the same. I grabbed my bag and he locked the car before walking into the woods behind the diner.

I was confused but didn't question him. It was weird. If this was Jake I'd be pestering him with a million different questions right now but here, with Edward, I didn't feel the need to. It was then I realised it was because I trusted him. I trusted a virtual stranger but I practically jumped down my boyfriend's throat and didn't wait to listen to his side of the story before accusing him of something he claimed had good intentions.

I pondered this a while as we made our way along the footpath a little before Edward looked around, seeming to look for something specific. He must have spotted whatever it was – I looked around flabbergasted he could tell the difference, every direction I glanced looked exactly the same to me – because he took off away from the path and through the trees. I stumbled to keep up with him and let out a little yelp as my foot caught against a tree root and I went flying.

Edward twisted round to see me sprawled out on the floor clutching at my ankle and rushed to me. He crouched down so his eyes were level with mine, "Are you okay?" He asked, shocking me with a look of genuine concern

I nodded, "Just twisted my ankle. I don't think its sprained or anything."

He shook his head seeming to berate himself and muttered something that sounded like, "Should have known to keep my eye on you." He lifted my hand from my ankle and pulled my jeans up a little before taking my foot and moving it around in gentle circles. "Does that hurt?" He asked.

I shook my head and he stood holding out his hand to me and pulled me to my feet. A shock passed through my hand when his skin touched mine and warmed my hand, the heat moving up my arm and to my chest. He must have felt it too because he glanced at our intertwined hands a small frown on his face before he began to walk again. He moved slower this time and didn't let go of my hand.

We walked in comfortable silence until I saw some light coming through a gap in the trees ahead and Edward began to walk faster, "We're here." He said and dropped my hand. I immediately missed the contact and felt empty, the warmth that had become a soothing comfort to an ache in my chest that I hadn't known was there, disappeared.

I was so focused on the loss of the feel of his hand in mine that I didn't notice the beautiful meadow in which we were now standing in the middle of. I gasped as I took in its beauty, it was breath taking. There were wild flowers growing everywhere, purples and blues and yellows splayed out over the vast area of green grass. It was like something out of a storybook. Truly stunning.

Edward turned when he heard my gasp and watched as I took it all in, "How did you find this place?" I breathed, almost believing it would all disappear in an instant if my voice was any louder. It was like a dream. One of those dreams that you didn't want to ever wake up from, scared you would never get to relive it again.

"My family and I were at the diner when we first moved here." Edward said softly as I moved closer to him and sat down. He joined me. "I had an argument with my dad and just sort of, stormed into the woods and stumbled across it."

"Its amazing." I murmured, "Really beautiful."

I faced him to see him watching me, nodding. I blushed under his stare and turned to pull my books out my bag for something to do.

"So, what are we going to do this project on?" I asked.

I looked up when he didn't answer to find him staring at me with a look that said "Really?"

"What?"

"Seriously? You actually want to do work?" His eyebrows rose.

"No, Edward, I don't want to, I have to."

"Why?" He asked and I stared, he shook his head and clarified, "Not why do you have to do the work I mean why are grades so important to you?"

I frowned, "How would you know if grades are important to me or not?"

Edward chuckled, "It's true what they say about small towns. Everybody knows everybody's business."

"That's not true, I don't know anything about you." I murmured, thinking of all my unanswered questions.

He stared at me incredulously then a hardened look came into his eyes and he laughed bitterly, "Of course you do. Everyone in school knows about how I've been expelled from twelve schools in three years. They all know I set fire to the science block in one school and how I smoked pot in one of the English classrooms in another."

"And how you had sex on top of one of your teachers desks."

He looked up from where he had his head resting in his hands behind him as he lay and barked out a short laugh, "That's a new one."

"So none of its true?"

"I didn't say that." He smirked.

"Don't lie." His eyes met mine and he sighed heavily.

"The parts that are true are very exaggerated but the majority of it is rumours to satisfy the simple-minded, bored with their own pathetic little lives."

I winced a little and looked down but I could feel his eyes on me.

"Are the expulsions true?" I wondered.

"I was expelled twice." He said.

I laughed. "What's so funny?" He questioned.

"That _is_ an exaggeration. What were you expelled for?"

"Never turning up to school and vandalism."

"What did you vandalise?"

He laughed, "I drew on one of the desks."

I frowned, "Is that it?"

He nodded, "Someone had spray painted the bike shed and when they caught me drawing on the table – in pencil by the way it would have come out – they pointed the finger at me and fucking blamed me for the shed. Assholes."

"How is that fair? They didn't even have proof."

Edward smiled at my defensiveness and I blushed. "In their eyes they had all the proof they needed. And my parents believed them."

I shook my head, it was so unjust. I felt Edward sit up beside me, "I think it's time you let me ask the questions." He said.

"What do you want to know?" I asked warily, on edge now that the attention was on me.

"Why did you come with me?" His gaze was intense as was his quiet voice, his face an inch from mine, his sweet breath washed over my face and I had to tear my eyes away from his lips as his tongue darted out to wet them.

"Because you took my bag?" It sounded ridiculous even to my own ears. He shook his head with a laugh.

"Hypocrite. Don't pester me about the truth if you aren't going to take your own advice."

I sighed and I knew it wouldn't be fair if I lied to him. "I've never done anything spontaneous or thrilling in my life. I have routines, I make plans, I do the same thing day in day out. And while most wouldn't call ditching, thrilling, it's the most wild I've ever been, so…" I trailed off.

"Are you a virgin?" He leaned back, distancing the space between us and I gasped, flushing brilliantly.

"I…what…you…" I spluttered, "I'm not answering that question. It's completely inappropriate."

He chuckled, "Oh come on, be spontaneous, Bella. Spill your darkest secrets to a complete stranger." He winked and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you a stranger?" I wondered.

He frowned, contemplating, understanding the question, "I don't know. Does this whole ditching together thing make us friends?"

I cringed internally at the word friends but I didn't know why. I nodded, "Friends."

"Friends," he repeated with a smile, playing around with the word in his head. He closed his eyes and turned his face to the sun, letting it warm him. I think he thought I wasn't going to answer because he looked at me sharply when I did.

"Yes," I mumbled. "You?"

He watched me a while before turning away, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

I gasped, "You _are_, aren't you?" I started to giggle uncontrollably, "Edward Cullen is a virgin!" Then he blushed. He actually blushed and it made me laugh harder. "Wow. And here I was thinking I wouldn't live to see the day Edward Cullen get's embarrassed."

"Don't fucking tell anyone." He said seriously but I could see the playfulness in his eyes. After my laughter died down I could see the thoughtful look return and he asked, "Why did you want to know all those things about me?"

I bit my lip, looking away and began fiddling with a strand of grass. It was a while before I gathered the courage to tell him. "You intrigued me." I said with a sigh, "More than that, you confused me. One day you would be a complete dick," Edward chuckled, "and the next you'd be…normal. I didn't understand you and because I didn't understand you I couldn't get you out of my head and that was…" I was about to say that was messing things up and disrupting my life but I stopped myself. "That was annoying." I finished instead.

We spent the rest of the day in the meadow and before I knew it, it was time to be heading back. I made sure Edward dropped me off a little further down my road so Charlie wouldn't see his car. I'd tell him I walked home from school. As I entered the house I was thinking about how the real Edward was starting to shine through the façade and I was finally figuring him out. I had a smile on my face as I moved to the kitchen. But it was wiped off the second I saw Charlie, sat at the table, his arms crossed with a face that looked like doom.

Shit. He knew.

* * *

**Dun dun dun! You like? Yay? Nay?**

**Review and let me know :D**


	5. Jump

**Oh dear, Bella's in trouble! Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Five  
Jump

"Where have you been?" Charlie asked quietly, but I knew his anger was bubbling just beneath the surface so I thought it best not to lie to him - well, perhaps I'd just gloss over the truth. I couldn't tell him about Edward though.

"Um…" I cleared my throat nervously, wringing my hands, I had no idea what to say. This had never happened to me anymore and I was beyond nervous. My palms were starting to sweat as Charlie's eyes bored into mine as though he could see right through me. "I…I was working on my Biology project."

Charlie looked as though he didn't believe me. Well it _was_ true, in some sort of sense. I had _intended_ to work on the Biology project, it's not my fault Edward side tracked me – though that was probably his plan all along.

"You was working on your Biology project?" He repeated. "Where?"

I knew I couldn't tell him about the meadow, for some reason I felt as though I'd be betraying Edward if I did. The meadow was his place, he had trusted me enough to show it to me and I wasn't about to throw that in his face. I had finally got somewhere with him today and I wasn't going to wreck it.

"A little way into the woods." Charlie would assume I meant the woods by our house and I didn't see any harm in letting him do that.

"A little way into the woods." The parrot thing was getting old but it almost sounded dangerous. I swallowed anxiously with a nod.

"Why did you cut class, Isabella?" Uh-oh. Full name. I _was_ in trouble.

I sighed, looking down at my feet. A petal was stuck in the laces of my converses from the meadow and I almost smiled. Almost. "I was just having a bad morning, dad."

"You were having a bad morning."

"Oh my god, enough with the mimicking, already." I bit my lip. Crap. Way to go Bella, it wasn't like he was pissed enough already. I didn't mean for it to actually come out but it was beyond irritating.

"Excuse me?" Well at least it stopped the repetition. But his face was going red and his moustache was bristling – never a good sign. "What the hell has gotten into you, Bella?" His voice was getting louder and louder and I felt like I was shrinking and looking terribly weak as he rose from the chair. "First I get a phone call telling me that you've skipped school, now you're back chatting. Not to mention how you jumped to conclusions with Jacob." I gasped. "Yeah, he told me about that. I don't understand, Bella, what is this? You've always been a good kid, always studied hard, never getting involved with the wrong crowd. I just don't understand."

He had no idea that he was hitting the nail on the head. This was _why_ I had a cut class, it wasn't me trying to get in a few rebellious years while I still could, it was because I had never experienced anything. Eighteen years of life and not an ounce of fun or experience to show for it. Most kids my age were partying every weekend, drinking, doing drugs. I misbehave once, ditch school _once _and it looks so much worse because it's not a regular thing for me.

And Jake! Don't even get me started on Jake. How dare he go and tell Charlie about our private conversations. How dare be betray my trust like that. I thought he was over this, but no, he had to tell my father, of all people. The big idiotic hypocrite. He complained that I accused him of something rather than talking to him about it and instead of telling me that he was still unhappy with me he told my father instead. Low blow.

When I said nothing and just stood fuming where I was Charlie said, softer now, "I'm really disappointed in you, Bells."

That broke me. Tears filled my eyes and I refused to look up at Charlie and let him see them. He was disappointed in me. But it wasn't only that. It was just like earlier today, Edward who had been in my life not five minutes, could tell I was bored and unhappy with my life but even after this, Charlie still couldn't see it. How could he care if he couldn't even see it but Edward could?

I heard him sigh and the chair scrape indicating he had sat back down, "You're grounded." He mumbled, "You go to school and you come home from school. No friends over, no phone calls. For a couple of weeks. I hope you're proud of yourself."

I gave him no signal that I had heard I just left the room and made my way quietly upstairs, collapsing on my bed, and let the tears fall.

I stumbled into Biology the next day and sat down, folding my arms on the desk and laying my head on them.

Alice had picked me up this morning so she could take me to school while my truck was being fixed and Charlie practically threw a fit. He was ranting and raving for ages while Alice sat in the car waiting for me. So I left. He wouldn't stop yelling enough to hear my explanation of how I had no other way to get to school because he left so early in the mornings, so I picked up my bag and walked out the front door, not speaking a word to him. He was going to be fuming when I got home but I just couldn't find it in me to care.

My friends had pestered and badgered me all through lunch questioning where I was yesterday. They laughed when I told them I ditched, thinking I was joking. When I gave them a deadpanned look they realised I wasn't kidding and stared in a disbelieving silence before suddenly cheering.

"Woooh, go Bella." Emmett grinned, slapping me on the back like he would do one of the guys. When I almost face planted my sandwich he quickly apologised.

"You go, girl. I'm proud of you." Rose smiled.

Once they had all calmed down they began to irritate me.

"So where did you go?" Alice asked.

I shrugged, picking at my sandwich not really in the mood to eat, "Just...went for a walk."

"Who did you go with?" Jasper questioned.

I blushed, "No one."

"Ahahaha, Bella's lying." Emmett crowed. Damn my ridiculously awful lying skills.

"Seriously, who did you go with?" Jasper asked again.

I said nothing, preferring not to say anything at all than to be caught out lying again.

Alice frowned as she stared at me, then understanding dawned in her eyes. Crap. "Edward Cullen wasn't here yesterday, either."

The others looked back and forth between her and me.

"Oh my god," Rose gasped, "You ditched school with Edward-the-asswipe-Cullen?"

I frowned and cringed internally at her unjust name-calling but said nothing, taking a sip of lemonade so I wouldn't have to answer.

"You did, didn't you?" Alice cried.

"Will you just drop it?" I hissed under my breath as Lauren and Jessica passed, watching us curiously. Alice glanced their way, too and understood.

"Fine, but this isn't over. We are talking about this tonight."

For the first time I was actually glad I was grounded, "No can do, I'm grounded."

Alice frowned, "I'll call you, then."

I shook my head, "Not allowed."

She growled, "Well, I'll just have to drive home really, really slowly."

I winced.

I yawned and closed my eyes but a voice in my ear made me jump. "What the matter with you?"

I looked up to see Edward pulling his books out of his bag.

I shrugged and stared to the front of the classroom. From the corner of my eye I saw him frown. "Seriously, what's wrong."

I turned and glared at him, "You got me in trouble." I wasn't really mad with him, I just needed someone to blame and he was the easiest person to achieve that with. After all, it was his idea to ditch. And I wanted an argument. I wanted to vent a scream and shout then scream some more. My hands were clenched into fists in my folded arms and I was doing all I could not to bang them on the table.

Edward chuckled, "I didn't force you to come with me."

"No but you knew I would." I bit back.

His eyebrows rose, "What's got your panties in a twist? Your boyfr-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." I growled, my finger pointing at him. He'd hit a nerve when he indirectly mentioned Jake, I was mad with _him_, too.

"You're really not in a good mood today, are you?"

"How did you know?" I asked sarcastically.

"You know, you're a real bitch when you're on the red carpet."

"I…what?" I stared at him, my confusion overpowering the anger.

"On the blob." I glared at him blankly, "Raining in the garden. Surfing the crimson wave. Shark bait. Tom's in town."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I spat.

"Oh for fuck sake, on your fucking period." He practically shouted and the people sitting around us turned and stared. I blushed scarlet.

"No, "Tom isn't in town", where the hell did you learn all of them anyway?"

He shrugged, "If you're not on you're monthly then what the fuck is your problem?"

I huffed and muttered, "Nothing. It's not your fault, I'm sorry." My hands cupped my face, leaning on my elbows, as I faced the front of the room again.

About halfway through the lesson two pink slips came for both Edward and I. I groaned internally. Everyone in this room knew that a pink slip meant an after school detention and as soon as we retrieved them, the hissing whispers of the venomous snake pit began as everyone in the room stared at me, shocked. Yeah, I would have been shocked too if I had been told I was getting an after school detention yesterday morning.

Well, at least I would get out of having to tell Alice about my little adventure.

The music teacher had left the room to get a cup of coffee halfway through our detention, "I'll be right back," She said in her shrill voice. Honestly, how she got the job of a music teacher with a voice that would make dogs run was beyond me. "No talking." She snapped and left the room.

For our detention we had to clean out and tidy the music room. When I entered and looked around I almost asked if I could go scrape gum off the underside of desks. Anything would be better than this. It was a complete mess because the room held no desks, just an empty space with stacked chairs pushed to the side. Well, it would have been empty had it not been for all the instruments scattered everywhere, the thousands upon thousands of music sheets floating around and just the general chaos of a classroom in which students were free to roam about.

I was sat in the corner, piling sheets of music together, Edward sat at the piano, pressing random keys, when he said, "I'm sorry about getting you into trouble."

I shook my head, "I told you, it wasn't your fault. Like you said you didn't force me."

"Yeah, but I knew you'd come."

I frowned, "How?"

He glanced up, "How what?"

"How did you know I would go with you?"

He looked down at the keys again and muttered, "Just a hunch." I felt like he was lying. "Were you really that mad about getting into trouble?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head. I had seen a guitar leaning against the opposite wall and headed for it, picking it up and sitting down with my back pressed to the wall, my legs crossed Indian style.

"_Is_ Tom visiting?"

I snorted then blushed, ducking my head so my hair hid my face. How the hell did he get me to laugh when I'd been so damn miserable all day?

"Did you just snort?" He laughed.

I shook my head.

"Bullshit, you just snorted. Very ladylike."

I sent him a mock glare and he glared back. He won our silently communicated staring competition then asked, "Seriously, why were you so…upset?"

I sighed knowing he wasn't going to leave it alone, "I got into it with my dad." I strummed the guitar, "He just…doesn't get it. He doesn't remember what it's like to be a teenager, probably because everything he has to put up with as a cop. But for god sake, you wouldn't think it would be that hard to remember considering it was only freaking eighteen years ago he got my mom pregnant, I mean, I would of thought that having me around would have been enough of a reminder about that but…he doesn't care. He proved that much last night." I shook my head completely lost in my own thoughts, I picked and played angrily at the guitar before I calmed and the sound became more soothing and peaceful. It was only when Edward coughed that I remembered where I was and who I was with.

"Sorry," I murmured. I had just kept everything so bottled up all day that it all just seemed to explode and come pouring out. But I didn't mind that it was Edward who heard. He, at least, had some idea of my discontentment.

"Don't worry about it," he murmured with a frown seeming distracted. "I didn't know you could play." He nudged his head toward the guitar in my hands and I froze. Jacob's words came rushing back to me and I stopped playing abruptly, standing and leaning the guitar back in its place before returning to the pile of music sheets. Jacob didn't think I could play so I wasn't about to humiliate myself in front of Edward.

I cleared my throat, "I uh, I don't really."

Edward's eyebrows rose, "Are you kidding me? That was really good."

I shook my head, "I don't play in front of other people." But my heart seemed to pound in my chest and soar at his words.

"You should." He said. "Do you sing?"

I gave a non-committal nod, "Not in front of people," I repeated.

"Sing something."

I rolled my eyes, "What part of not-in-front-of-people do you not understand?"

"Any of it. Sing."

"No."

"Yes."

"You can't make me."

"I'm sure I'll find a way."

"Good luck with that."

We glared at each other across the room before he gave a crooked smile and my stomach did a somersault.

"What?" I asked.

"I like arguing with you," there was a smile in his voice, "I prefer arguing with you than talking with anyone else." His eyes locked with mine and I couldn't find it in me the pull them away. His eyes were full of questions, smiles and trust and I'm sure mine portrayed a similar message.

"What happened with you and Jacob?" I asked softly. His eyes, a soft liquid green when gazing into mine, hardened and he turned his attention back to the piano. "Rose said she and Emmett were there. That Emmett had to break it up."

"And I suppose good old Jacob told you I started it." He spat.

I shook my head, "He didn't really tell me anything, that's why I'm asking you."

Edward watched me carefully before saying, "Why would you listen to me? Why don't you just take your boyfriend's word for it that I was being out of order?"

I sighed, "I told you, Jacob didn't really tell me anything. I found out from Rose, and she said Jake started it. I want to know what he said to you."

When he ignored me I murmured, "Please tell me. I asked Jake and I just ended up feeling guilty."

Edward's head snapped up, "He made you feel guilty?" His voice was accusing, "He's the one starting fights and he made _you_ feel _guilty_ about it?"

"So he _did_ start it."

Edward frowned, "I was walking along the beach minding my own business then all of a sudden this douchebag comes over to me and starts mouthing off about staying away from his girlfriend. I didn't even know who he was or what he was talking about until he mentioned your name."

"What was he saying?" I asked eagerly, glad I was finally getting answers even if I didn't like them.

"Something about if I mess with you he'll kill me and to stay away from you. Then…" he rubbed the back of his neck with a frown seeming to debate something before he tore his eyes from mine, "Then I said "If you can't satisfy her I can't promise not to do anything when she comes running to me for an orgasm" and it erm…it seemed to hit a nerve."

I blushed deeply when he said that, ducking my head.

Edward continued, "He pushed me and then he said…" He trailed off and I looked up at him sharply.

"What did he say?" I murmured.

Edward watched me carefully as though testing how I would react. He opened his mouth to answer when suddenly the door burst open and we both jumped back to work as the music teacher eyed us, sipping her coffee.

"Someone's here to see you," Charlie said, walking into the kitchen where I had been making our traditional Thursday Night Fish Pie.

"Thought you said I wasn't allowed friends over," I muttered. It was the most I had said to him all day.

"Well, this one's an exception. I think you owe him an apology."

The face that flashed through my mind belonged to Edward and I had the crazy thought of wondering what I needed to apologise to Edward for and why the hell Charlie, of all people, was making me do it? But when I turned to find Jake leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms folded and his feet crossed and I realised just how ridiculous that thought was and wondered if Edward would ever leave my mind, even just for a second.

Charlie gave me a pointed look before studiously walking back into the living room and turning up the volume of the television. I just moved back to cooking.

"How's your week been?" He asked knowing fully well that I had been grounded and bored out of my mind. No different than normal, really. I don't know why I was so worried about being caught. "You gonna talk to me, Bells?"

"I don't see why I should. If anyone should be apologising it should be from you to me not the other way around." I grumbled.

"I'm sorry." He said simply.

I turned and watched him, he was still leaning casually against the counter, looking completely at ease. "What for?"

"For telling Charlie."

I shook my head, "You don't get it do you? You don't understand why I'm upset?"

He shrugged, "Sure, I told Charlie."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose before returning to the food. I felt him come and stand next to me, "Let's not fight, Bella. Okay? I've apologised, you apologised the other day. We're even." He kissed the side of my head before joining Charlie in the living room.

Strangely enough, I felt nothing.

I served dinner, Jacob left a little while later and I went up to bed.

It was gone midnight when I heard a faint tapping on my window. At first I thought it was starting to rain but when the noise grew louder and was thudding unevenly I frowned. What on earth could be making that noise? Then I heard a hiss of: "Bella! Let me in!"

My eyes widened as I darted from my bed to pull open my curtains, only to find Edward, sitting in the tree directly outside the window, his beautiful crooked grin plastered on his smug face. I lifted the pane, "What the hell are you doing?" I whisper shouted.

"Coming to save you." He smirked.

"From what?"

He shrugged, "Yourself? Boredom? Your desperation to see me? Take your pick. Move out of the way."

I shook my head, "Edward, get out of the tree and go home. Do you have any idea what time it is? If Charlie sees you he'll-"

"Bella, if you don't move I'm going to fall out of this tree."

I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not but when he let go of the branch, only hanging on by one hand I jumped out of the way. Next thing I knew Edward was sitting at the foot of my bed looking around my room. Then he looked at me, his eyes traveling from my feet, up my legs to my grey sleep shorts to the little tank top I was wearing and my messed hair. He quirked an eyebrow, "Nice."

I glared, "Well, excuse me but I wasn't exactly aware I was going to have company at quarter past twelve in the morning."

He sat there as though waiting for me to do something but when I didn't move from my position of hands on hips and glaring at him he said, "Well get dressed then."

I frowned, "What for?"

"I'm sneaking you out." He grinned excitedly.

"No, you're not, you're going to sneak out through the front door while I go back to bed. And you better pray that Charlie doesn't hear you because he's licensed to carry a gun."

I watched as his eyes widened with fear a little and it was amusing to say the least but he rolled his eyes when I laughed at him and gave me an intense stare, much like one we had shared during detention but this one was a silent argument. "Bella," he said softly, "I thought you wanted to have fun. You know, actually be a teenager. Am I wrong?"

I shook my head albeit reluctantly.

"Want to experience a much more satisfying thrill than ditching school?" He eyed me knowingly.

I sighed before slowly nodding.

He stood and made his way over to stand in front of me. He placed his hands gently on my shoulders bending his knees so his eyes were level with mine and murmured softly, "If I told you to close your eyes and jump, would you?"

I took a deep breath as I stared deeply into the pools of green and said, "Yes."

"Then don't be scared." He leaned in close his mouth right next to my ear, I felt like I was melting. Then he whispered, "Jump."

So that was how I found myself pulling on a pair of faded skinny jeans and a hoodie. I made my way back into my bedroom where Edward was waiting, there was no way I was going to get changed in front of him, looking for my converses. Edward sat up from where he had been sprawled across my bed and said, "No, no, no. You can't wear that."

I looked down to see if I was wearing my panties over my jeans or something. Finding nothing wrong I asked, "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Nothing," He said, "It's just not right for where we're going."

"Well, if you told me where we're going then we wouldn't be having this problem." I huffed.

"I don't want to tell you, but you'll like it…eventually."

I stared at him uneasily, "What does that mean?" He didn't answer but made his way over to my wardrobe and started looking through my clothes, then he came across something that was hidden right at the back, the tags still intact, never worn.

"What about this, this is nice."

It was a black top, with a belt that went around the empire line, short sleeves and fitted my body like a glove. I shook my head, "Alice got it for me for a party, I never wore it, shows way too much cleavage."

Edward threw it at me, "Put it on."

I shook my head again, "I didn't wear it for Alice, and I'm not going to wear it for you."

"Bella, if you wear that hoodie you'll stand out like a fucking sore thumb. Wear the top and you'll fit right it, no one will notice. Your choice."

I growled, snatching up the top and stomping to my door, "Oh, put on some jewellery or something." He demanded.

Jeez, he was worse than Alice.

I looked at myself in the mirror tugging and pulling at the top; I had to admit it looked okay. It accentuated my curves and slimmed my waist, and I was lying if I said it didn't make me feel sexy. I felt like a woman. I was just really self-conscious. I pulled on some silver and black, beaded and bangle bracelets. I looked back at the mirror and frowned, I needed to do something with my hair. I pulled it out of the plat I had put it in before I went to bed and it tumbled out in waves about my shoulders. I fluffed it a little. Good enough.

I was about to step out of the bathroom when my rarely used make-up bag caught my eye. It was no longer a case of just not wanting to stand out wherever we were going; I wanted to look good for Edward. I wanted to show him that I wasn't just plain and boring, that I could be fun and cool and sexy. I grabbed it and quickly applied some smoky eye shadow and mascara to make my eyes pop. I dabbed on some faintly tinted pink lip-gloss, sticking with the more natural look and added a little blusher to my cheeks.

I bit my lip and with a deep breath I tiptoed back to my bedroom and entered. Edward's expression was comical, it looked as though his eyes were about to pop out of his head with how wide they were, raking me up and down, his mouth was agape before he swallowed thickly.

"How's this?" I asked nervously.

He nodded, seeming unable to find his voice for a minute, "You…you look…wow, erm," he cleared his throat, "You look amazing."

I blushed, "Thanks," I just wished I was more confident than I felt.

"Here," he held out some black, high heeled, open toed shoes, "Put these on." I went to take them from him but he pulled back a little, "On second thoughts, you might want to leave them off for a bit."

"Why?" I frowned.

He nudged his head in the direction of the window, "We've got to climb out."

Ten minutes later we were out the house and half jogging half striding as quietly as we could to Edward's car. He held my hand – the shock that I had felt before when he held my hand spread through me again and I liked it – as I stumbled a little in my heels and opened the passenger door for me before sprinting to his side. Then we were off.

* * *

**Ooh, where are they going? Naughty, naughty! And what did Jacob say to Edward?**

**You can find a link to Bella's outfit on my profile, can't really see the jeans but you'll get the gist :)**

**Oh, and just to clarify, when Bella says "Thursday Night Fish Pie", I'm purposely jumping through time, I didn't just forget that a minute ago it was Tuesday!**

**Review please!**


	6. Long Awaited Fireworks

**So here's another chapter. Be warned, this story isn't only rated M for bad language! Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Six  
Long Awaited Fireworks

"No way," I gasped staring at the building of which we had parked in front of, the sound of music and people coming from inside. "No way, nu-uh, not happening." I tried to open the passenger door again to climb back inside but Edward had locked the car. He grabbed me by my waist and turned me to face him.

"Bella, relax." He said.

"Edward, even if I wanted to, which I really, really don't, I couldn't get in there. We're eighteen."

"I can get in," Edward said soothingly, "I come here all the time they know me. If you're with me they won't have a problem."

"Maybe not but _I_ have a problem."

"I told you I would get you to sing somehow." He smirked, pulling me tighter to him as I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. His warm body pressed against mine felt really good.

Snap out of it, Bella, focus!

"Yeah, I didn't think you would try to do that by bringing me to a karaoke bar!"

He took my face in his hands, his own face so close I could count every single eyelash. "Bella," he said, "I promise you, you won't regret this. But you will if you walk away and go back home, back to Charlie, back to your boyfriend just to do the same thing day in day out. We can leave if you really don't like it, but I swear on my fucking life, you will."

I sighed. He wasn't playing fair. But he was right. I knew he was right and he had asked me to trust him, and I did, I trusted him more than I trusted my own judgement at the moment, he knew what I wanted and needed better than I did. So I nodded.

He grinned, slipping his arm around my waist and led me to the entrance. The bouncer was absolutely huge and I gulped as we neared but he seemed to recognise Edward, he held out a fist, which Edward bumped with his own.

"Edward, my man, how you doing?"

"Good, this is Bella."

"Nice to meet you, Bella. Be good to this kid, okay? He's not as tough as he likes to think he is." The bouncer winked at me, I blushed at both the wink and his assumption that Edward and I were together, but I felt a warm feeling spread through me that I didn't understand and the comforting heat rose when Edward didn't contradict him.

He let us in but murmured something to Edward as we passed that I didn't hear. Edward nodded and took me inside. There was a stage right at the back of the club on which a woman was singing, "Saturday Night" terribly might I add. It wasn't even Saturday. But there was a crowd of people on the dance floor who were loving it. There were people sat in booths around the club and on stools at the bar. I glanced up at Edward to find him watching me. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile at this place and at him, it looked like fun.

"Okay, okay, it doesn't look too bad," I said completely blasé.

Edward laughed rolling his eyes at my mocked casualness, "Yeah, yeah. Want a drink?"

I eyed the bar warily and bit my lip, Edward laughed. "Let me choose something for you, I promise it won't be drowned with alcohol."

"Wow, and there I was thinking you'd be encouraging the alcohol. Isn't that meant to be part of the whole rebelling teenage experience?"

He grinned, "Sure, but I think we should do that another time because number one, I have no idea how much of a lightweight you are or how you'll react to it and number two, we have school tomorrow, I don't think you'd enjoy a hangover at school. It isn't fun."

We stood at the bar and while Edward ordered some sort of cocktail for me and a coke for himself - he was driving. A guy who stood on the other side of me looked me up and down appreciatively. I shuddered, this guy was creepy. Edward turned to look at me when he felt me shudder and followed my wary gaze to the man next to me. His eyes hardened and he glared viciously at the man, pulling me closer to him, tightening his hold on my waist. The guy cowered under Edward's scowl and stuttered and stumbled as he rushed away into the crowd.

"Here," Edward handed me the red cocktail, "I even got you a little umbrella to go with it."

I laughed and took the drink from him, taking a small uncertain sip through the straw. Edward watched me the entire time with a smirk on his face. I let the fruity taste of it roll around on my tongue before taking another bigger sip. Edward laughed, "I take it you approve?"

I nodded eagerly, the straw still in my mouth so I gave him a thumbs up. He chuckled and led me over to a booth where we sat for a while just talking and laughing while I gradually got more and more buzzed.

"I wanna sing," I said slapping my hand down on the table about half an hour later.

"You do?" Edward asked, bemused.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Come on then," he took my hand and led me through the crowd to the stage. He lifted me up by my waist and steadied me before I made my way over to the microphone. The opening notes of Kelly Clarkson's My Life Would Suck Without You came on and I couldn't help but laugh. My life really would have sucked if I hadn't met Edward. He was teaching me how to have fun.

I looked down at the faces of the crowd as they cheered and jumped and danced as I began to sing.

"I guess this means you're sorry. You're standing at my door. Guess this means you take back all you said before."

I danced about the stage the crowd screaming Edward half laughing and gaping in disbelief as I had everyone in the club on their feet on the dance floor, clapping and dancing in time with the music, I smiled through the words, confidence and joy bubbling up inside me as I sang.

"'Cause we belong together now, yeah. Forever united here somehow, yeah." I danced up the stage to near where Edward was stood and pointed at him, "You got a piece of me, and honestly, my life would suck without you."

I flicked my hair from my eyes, watching Edward as he pulled his phone out and started recording. I shook my head, beaming, "I know that I've got issues, but you're pretty messed up too," I gave him a pointed look and saw him throw his head back and laugh, "Either way I found out I'm nothing without you."

Eventually I came to the end of the song and everyone screamed and cheered for an encore. I shook my head with a laugh and made my way to the edge of the stage where Edward came over to me and lifted me down, grinning hugely.

"That was amazing!" He exclaimed spinning me around.

I laughed with glee, "That was fucking awesome," I practically screamed.

He laughed loudly at my profanity, "I've created a monster."

"Shut up, you love it," I giggled. Something flashed in his eyes as he watched me, his cheeks flushed and he smiled, glancing away from me and when he looked back his eyes sparkled.

Some guy got up on stage a little while after me, looking as though he had been pushed into singing by his friends who were videoing the thing on their phones. I laughed as Edward pulled me by my hand to the middle of the dance floor and twirled me around as the guy on stage began to sing Smile by Uncle Kracker.

"I like this song," I giggled.

Edward smirked as he pulled me closer to him and began singing the words in my ear. "You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed."

"Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head." I replied.

"Spin like a record crazy on a Sunday night." He sang back with a grin.

"You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe."

"Shine like gold, buzz like a bee."

"Just the thought of you can drive me wild."

"Oh you make me smile." We sang together, laughing.

"You know, you can sing too." I said in wonder, "You've got a really nice voice."

"Thanks," he murmured, spinning me out away from him before pulling me back. I laughed hard as he dipped me before twirling us around.

"I don't usually dance, I'm not very good." I told him.

"I think you're doing all right," He smiled.

I accidently stepped on his foot, "Sorry," I blushed with a laugh, "You spoke too soon."

"Well, maybe it's just me making you look good, then."

"Probably."

After a moment or two in which he took hold of my hands and placed them around his neck he asked softly, "Why wouldn't you sing for me, before?" I bit my lip my eyes downcast. "Bella?"

I sighed, "Guess I thought you would think I was rubbish and I would humiliate myself."

Edward shook his head in disbelief, "Bella, I've never heard anyone sing the way you do. I mean, if you could have seen yourself up on that stage, you looked so…happy. You looked like you belonged up there. You had the whole club on its feet." He chuckled and I giggled with him, delightfully embarrassed by his words. "How could you think that I would have thought you to be rubbish?"

I shrugged, "Well, I've sung in front of someone before, by complete accident, I didn't know they were there."

"And?" Edward asked, frowning.

"And we were joking around about me being famous and he insinuated he thought I wasn't good enough. He basically said I couldn't sing and…it kinda hurt." I murmured trying to give a weak smile and play it off as no big deal.

"He?" Edward's voice was sharp, "You're telling me Jacob said this to you? Your boyfriend? Jacob?"

I nodded slowly, watching the anger in Edward's eyes. He frowned pulling me closer to him gently, holding me tight as we swayed. "Screw him, Bella. He's a fucking dickhead you can't listen to a word that comes out of his mouth if he said something so blasphemes to you."

I rested my head on his chest, closing my eyes in contentment as he spoke softly into my hair, "You're amazing, Bella. Don't let anybody tell you different."

After a few moments of comfortable silence in which we swayed and I revelled in his words – which were the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me – he asked with a smile in his voice, "So, is this more thrilling than ditching school?"

I nodded with a giggle, "You know you make me sound like some adrenaline junky."

He laughed with a shake of his head, "Nah, adrenaline junkies hang out a bungee jumping sites – which I seriously doubt you want to do –" I shook my head vehemently and he chuckled, continuing, "or at the very least at theme parks."

"I've never been to a theme park." I murmured.

I heard him gasp, "You've never been to a theme park? No wonder you said skipping school was the most wild you've ever been."

We danced for a while in silence with Edward occasionally still mumbling in disbelief, "Never been to theme park!" making me laugh.

A little while later we were making our way to his car. I shivered when the cold air hit me and Edward pulled his sexy leather jacket off and helped me put my arms through it. I smiled as I snuggled into his side as we walked, his arm around my shoulders. Ha! I was wearing his sexy leather jacket!

He opened the passenger door for me and helped me in, I was feeling a little dizzy probably from the alcohol.

I closed my eyes as he drove me home and I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew, warm lips were brushing against my forehead. I opened my eyes blearily to find Edward watching me with a smile.

"You're cute when you're asleep," He murmured, "You talk."

I groaned softly, "What did I say?"

He shook his head, "Something about "good Edward, life not sucking and sexy leather jacket"".

I buried my face in my hands with a moan, "That's not good."

Edward chuckled, "You were fucking insane tonight. I had no idea you could sing like that."

I blushed, "Thanks."

"You looked really, really good, too. Beautiful." He murmured.

I blushed harder. I sat up a little straighter looking around, recognising that we were parked a little way down my road so Charlie wouldn't see the car if he happened to look out the window for whatever reason. With that thought I said softly, "I should probably get going before Charlie realises I'm gone." But I didn't want to leave him.

He nodded but neither of us made a move to get out of the car. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead gently to mine, "Do you think you'll be okay, tomorrow? No hangovers?" He breathed.

I shrugged watching his lips move as he spoke, his tongue darted out to lick them and I copied his movement before looking back up to his intense eyes, filled with an emotion I couldn't make out. "Don't know."

"You should go." He whispered but didn't remove his forehead from my own.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow at school." I didn't move.

His eyes were flicking back and forth from my own eyes to my mouth and I bit my lip, he let out a small noise, almost like a groan and moved his hand to caress my cheek. The tip of his nose trailed up and down mine.

"Bella," he breathed. He was so close that I felt his lips ghost over mine as he spoke. Green burnt into brown before suddenly he couldn't take the anticipation any longer and pulled my face to his and our mouths locked in the most passionate heart-felt kiss I had ever experienced in my entire life.

I closed my eyes and saw fireworks.

I moved my hands to finally run my fingers through his hair as I had wanted to since the first time I saw him. It felt softer than anything I had ever touched, well, aside from his lips. They moulded to mine perfectly. His thumb stroked my cheek before his hand moved to cup around my neck, pulling me closer. His tongue traced my bottom lip begging for entrance, my heart pounded as I accepted and his tongue slid sensually into my mouth eliciting from me a small moan of pleasure. It stroked mine teasing and tasting and slowly I responded in kind. We pulled away gasping, my hands still in his hair and his still cupping my neck.

We were both breathing heavily and we chuckled sheepishly a little before I crashed my lips against his again. I knew I probably should have stopped but I just couldn't get enough. I had never been kissed like that before and I didn't want it to end.

Edward's hand moved to my waist and lifted, sitting me in his lap, my legs on either side of his, our torsos pressed together, his hard muscular chest warm against my own.

I didn't know what to do with my hands, they wanted to be everywhere at once, caressing his face and neck, gripping his hair, roaming his shoulders and chest. His arms were wrapped around me, one hand on my back keeping me locked close to him making sure I didn't escape. Like I would ever try. The other tugged at my hair making me moan. I grazed his bottom lip with my teeth in response and he groaned, kissing me furiously. Every little thing that he did with his hands, his lips, his tongue sent tingly feelings through my body all over my arms down my breasts, along my stomach till it reached my core at the apex of my thighs and I whimpered, wriggling a little, wanting more of that feeling. Needing more. More kisses, more touches always more.

Forget the fireworks, there were explosions going on over here. I had never felt so wanted and cared for. He kissed me like he never wanted to stop, his hands clutched me to his body like he never wanted to let me go. And I loved it.

"I can't get enough of you, Bella," He gasped between kisses as my hips wriggled against his and I felt the hardness beneath his jeans. He hissed. "But you gotta stop doing that, baby." His hands stilled my movement.

"Why?" I breathed, a warm fuzzy feeling filling me at the term of endearment. I moved my kisses across his cheek, along his gorgeous jaw and down his neck as he gasped trying to catch his breath.

"Oh god," he groaned, arching his neck to give me better access, "That feels good."

I chuckled against his neck and ground my hips to his again, "Fuck, baby, stop for a second."

I pulled away a little gripping his shirt in my hands, his gently cupped my face and I leant my forehead against his, just like before, loving the closeness. "Why?" I asked again. He looked sexily flushed, his lips red and swollen from the kisses and mine were probably the same, this thumb brushed over my own.

"Because," he said his voice sounding a little strained, "You're tipsy, baby. And that's not right. I don't want you to regret this."

I shook my head, "I won't. I don't," I sighed, "But I guess we should stop, it's getting really late."

He nodded pressing a sweet kiss to the tip of my nose. I giggled and he smiled at the sound.

He opened the door and helped me slide out of the car, he kept his hands on my waist as he followed, shutting it behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest and he kissed the top of my head and said, "Well, err…I guess we should exchange numbers." I could hear the smile in his voice and I laughed as I remembered.

I lifted my head, resting my chin there instead as I looked up at him and asked with a grin, "Why?"

"Oh I don't know. Maybe so we can arrange to meet up and make-out again." He smirked that crooked smile.

"That can definitely be arranged, bad boy."

He laughed as I pulled out my phone and handed it to him and he gave me his. I typed it my number and saved it under Tipsy Baby before sliding it into his pocket. His back pocket. And I may or may not have groped his ass.

He chuckled, "Oh, playing it like that are we?" He asked and did the same to me, "Mmm, you got a cute butt."

I giggled, "So do you."

He leant down and kissed me. It wasn't like the passionate kisses in the car but it was just as heart-felt and was soft and sweet.

"Hmmm," he hummed into the kiss, "You have to go," he frowned unhappily.

I kissed his cheek, "But I get to see you tomorrow." He nodded with a grin.

"Maybe we could work on our…_project_." He waggled his eyebrows.

I giggled, "I'd like that." I started to shrug off his jacket.

"You can give it back to me tomorrow," he offered.

I shook my head with a grimace and handed it back to him, "Charlie." I explained. He nodded in understanding.

He reluctantly let me go and I gave a yelp when he tapped my ass as I walked away. I glared at him over my shoulder and he winked. "Be careful," he said as I stumbled in my tipsiness and high-heels.

I looked back when I got to the door – there was no way I was going to be able to climb that tree – to find him still leaning against his car, watching to make sure I got indoors okay. I blew him a kiss and tiptoed inside and up to my bedroom. I watched him leave from my window before falling backwards onto my bed with a happy sigh of contentment.

Then I couldn't help but do a little jig, kicking my legs and punching the air.

I kissed Edward Cullen! Ha!

I couldn't be bothered to get changed into my pyjamas again so I took off my clothes and got into bed in my bra and panties. Just as I was dozing off my phone vibrated on my bedside table and my eyes snapped open. I reached over and unlocked my phone to see: _New Message from Bad Boy_. I had to bury my face in my pillow to drown out my giggles.

I opened the message and read.

_Sleep well Tipsy Girl – E x_

I squealed like Alice, he put a kiss at the end! I should never drink alcohol again. But funnily enough I didn't think the alcohol could take all the credit for my giddiness.

_You too Bad Boy. Night – B x_

A few minutes later I fell into a peaceful sleep full of dreams of wonderful make-out sessions in his car while Smile by Uncle Kracker played in the background on the radio.

I was woken from my slumber by an irritating buzzing right in my ear adding to the pounding of my head. I yawned stretching and squinting my eyes open to find my phone on my pillow right next to my head. So that explained the annoying buzzing noise. I picked it up and found that I had three missed messages and five missed calls all from Alice. I frowned in confusion and opened the first.

_Hey I can't give you a lift today I have a dentist appointment, sorry. Alice xxx_

I groaned, looked like I was walking to school. I opened the next message, which was sent about fifteen minutes after the first.

_Hey did you get my text? Reply! Al xx_

I scratched my head with another yawn as I opened the last.

_Bella, where are you? Text me back! Alice xx_

I was about to reply that I was still in bed when I glanced at the clock and saw the time.

"Shit!" I cried, jumping out of bed before wincing and putting my hand to my head. I had one freaking drink. One!

I stumbled hastily to the bathroom and shuddered at my reflection. I wiped away the smudged make-up from the night before – it did not look as good as it had last night – and washed my face while trying to brush my teeth at the same time. It was nine o'clock. I had overslept two hours and first class started in half an hour. And I didn't have a ride.

I rushed back into my bedroom throwing on some fitted jeans and a t-shirt and grabbed a hoodie. I didn't care if Alice was going to kill me, right now it was the best I could do.

I clambered downstairs with one converse on, the other in my hand, my hoodie thrown over one shoulder, by bag thrown over the other as I tried to stuff my books inside it. How I managed to get down the stairs without killing myself was beyond me.

I hopped into the kitchen while trying to tie my shoe and grabbed a cereal bar. But I was already halfway out the door before I remembered I had no way to get to school.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out opening the text before reading who it was from.

_Where are you? Are you ok? – E x_

Edward! He didn't care about being late.

_Can you come and pick me up. Lost my ride and I'm late – B x_

He responded not twenty seconds later: _On my way – x_

I was sat on the doorstep, having left my keys in the house in my mad rush to get out the door, eating my cereal bar when he drove up.

I pulled my hood up, protecting myself from the rain, I was already having a bad day I didn't need to get drenched, as well. And I jogged to his car, opening the door and slumping into the dry warm seat.

"This is your fault," I mumbled, slamming the door shut and yanking at the seatbelt that didn't want to work.

"That's a nice fucking greeting." Edward growled.

"Don't you, "that's a nice _fucking_ greeting" me!" I lowered my voice to imitate his poorly, "_You_ kept me out last night and _you_ gave me the drink so it's _your_ fault I overslept and have a splitting _fucking_ headache." I snapped irritably, fighting with the belt.

"It's not my _fucking_ fault that you're such a lightweight and don't know how to set an alarm." He hissed back, emphasising the profanity to annoy me further, waiting for me to put the belt on before driving.

"I threw my alarm clock on the floor so it's broken, and so is your _fucking_ seat belt." I shouted.

"Don't _fucking_ take it out on my car." He yelled angrily, leaning over me to swiftly and easily pull the seat belt and clip it into place. His fierce eyes locked with mine, his face an inch away. His closeness and the heat of his body brought back all the memories of last night and everything that had happened in said car. The way he had looked at me with a lust filled gaze, the feel of his lips on mine and suddenly his hands were in my hair and mine were tugging at his face to bring it even closer as our mouths locked together in a deep and passionate kiss.

My stomach somersaulted at the incredible feeling and I moaned into the kiss, "You're intolerable."

"You're infuriating," he muttered, flicking his tongue against my lips.

"Kiss me."

He seemed the accept that as a challenge and our tongues fought furiously for dominance. I tugged his hair sharply and he groaned in both pleasure and aggravation. In return he nipped at my lip and I gasped.

After about five minutes of an intense hate-filled make-out session, all the while fireworks boomed and kapowed behind my eyelids, he started to slow the kiss, pulling away every now and then to catch our breaths, pressing light, smaller kisses to each other's lips, panting heavily.

"Good morning, baby," he murmured breathlessly, kissing the corner of my mouth.

"Morning," I smiled.

And we headed off to school.

* * *

**They can't even kiss without arguing, but arguing is a passionate thing!**

**Doesn't bad boy Edward make life more exciting?**

**Review :)**


	7. Warning

**Seventh chapter! Again, its rated M for a reason. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Seven  
Warning

"So you overslept?" He asked as he drove, one hand on the steering wheel the other resting on my thigh.

I nodded, "Yep, I woke up to three missed texts, five missed calls and a headache."

Edward chuckled shaking his head, "I cannot believe you're hung over. You had one drink with the teeniest amount of vodka in it."

"It's not my fault," I grumbled, "I've never drunk before."

I fiddled with the radio a little before he asked, "So what happened to your ride?".

I shrugged, "Alice text me saying she had a dentist appointment. Only, because I overslept, I read it approximately," I looked at the time on his radio, "Fifteen minutes ago."

He laughed, leaning over to kiss my cheek as we reached a red light, "Aw, poor baby."

"Shush," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You clean up good considering you did it in fifteen minutes." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at him, "How long does it take you to get ready?"

He shrugged, "Five."

"Five minutes!" I gaped, "But you always look so-" I stopped myself, blushing.

Edward glanced over at me, his eyes twinkling mischievously, "I always look so what?"

"I don't want to say." I mumbled staring out the window.

He laughed loudly, "Come on, tell me."

I sighed, "You always look so hot."

He howled with laughter before looking at me with mock seriousness, "I know."

I shook my head, grinning, "Oh so modest."

"I try."

We had reached school now with five minutes to spare.

"Hmmm," Edward glanced at the time, "We could do a lot in five minutes."

I giggled as he leaned over spreading kisses from my shoulder, up my neck, along my jaw to my lips. He trailed his hand slowly higher and higher on my thigh as my hand travelled up his shirt. Hello Mr Six Pack! His hard muscular abs rippled as he laughed.

I pulled my lips from his a little in confusion, "What?"

He laughed again, "You know you said that out loud, right?"

I gasped. Kill me now. He pressed his lips to mine again, parting them with his tongue. What a way to go. I sucked in a sharp intake of breath, his lips brushing mine, his green eyes scorching into my brown as his hand moved higher between my legs, his thumb stroking my inner thigh so close yet so far away from where I wanted him.

"Oh god," I breathed, I wanted more. No, I needed more. He kissed my neck as I stroked up his chest, my hands roaming his perfectly sculptured body.

"What do you want, Bella?" He whispered.

"More, please," I begged.

"Sorry, baby," he murmured, pulling away. "Our five minutes are up."

I gaped glaring at him as he reached over and pulled his bag from the back seat, "That was really mean." I grumbled.

He chuckled, "Something to remember me by for the rest of the day until Biology."

"By the time I get to Biology I'm gonna want to kill you."

He laughed loudly as we got out the car and headed to the school entrance, we looked around to make sure no one was watching before he pulled me into a kiss, "I'll see you later," he murmured against my lips.

I nodded with a grin and headed to Math.

Rosalie was awfully quiet as we sat beside each other solving the mathematical problems our teacher had given us. As if I didn't have enough problems in my life to deal with…mind you Edward seemed to be sorting them out quite nicely. I smiled wistfully as I thought about this morning and last night. Not just the kisses. How he held me so close and tight and murmured softly in my ear. He was incredibly sweet despite the macho hard-core front he put on, though he'd probably kill me if I told anyone some of the stuff he says to me.

I looked up to see Rose watching me weirdly and realised I must have looked like I was staring at the math problems with a fairly amorous gaze, probably a little disturbing.

I blushed and she gave a small frown before returning to her work without saying anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked, though she had a fair reason to be asking _me_ that question with a mental asylum in mind.

She nodded but said nothing.

"Are you sure? You seem a little quiet today."

She sighed putting down her pen, she looked around as though checking no one was listening and whispered, "What's the deal with you and Cullen?"

My eyes dropped immediately to my work just wishing I had kept my mouth shut. "What do you mean?"

"Well, did you really ditch with him the other day?"

"No." I muttered and it sounded completely false even to my own ears and I heard Rose tut in annoyance, probably at me even bothering trying to lie to her. I couldn't do it to save my life. Maybe Edward could teach me. Jesus I was never going to get him out of my head, was I?

"Bella, you are a terrible liar." She paused before whispering even quieter, "I saw you."

My eyes widened and I turned to stare at her, "What?" When had she seen us? At the meadow? She couldn't have. Maybe she saw us leaving the school in his car? I knew I should have stayed ducked down instead of reacting to Edward's goading, even if I _had_ looked like an idiot.

"I saw you this morning." Shit. "In his car." Double shit. "Freaking making out!" Shit, shit, shit.

I bit my lip worriedly and Rose eyed my panicked look and sighed, "Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone. Just…what the hell is going on?"

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" She nodded and I took a deep breath, "I…I don't know what to tell you Rose."

"Start from the beginning, how did this happen?"

"Well, I guess it started the first time he spoke to me in Biology…" I went on to tell Rose all about Edward's crazy ass mood swings, how one minute he was a douche the next he was sweet as pie. I told her how I couldn't help but want to figure him out because he was driving me insane. I told her about ditching, our detention together and about last night. "I've just never felt what I feel whenever I'm around him. It's like he makes me believe I can do whatever I want to do and no one can stop me. It's like, you know in cheesy movies and romance novels they talk about feeling a spark the moment you lock eyes with your "one true love"?"

Rosalie nodded, completely riveted with my gossip. "Well, I feel that whenever he touches me. And my god Rose, when he kisses me," I shook my head with a smile, "There are no words. I just…I can have fun with him, I can take risks and it's thrilling and exciting and…"I sighed, "I've never felt anything like that with Jacob. Not ever."

There was a pause before, "Wow!" Rose was staring wide eyed, "Maybe he's _not_ a total jackass."

I narrowed my eyes, "Stop calling him names. He's not a jackass, or an asswipe, or asshat or anything that I thought he was."

She gaped at my defensiveness, "You really like this guy." It was a statement, not a question.

I nodded, "Please don't tell anyone." I begged her, "If this got out to Jake," I shook my head, "I need to tell him before he finds out from anyone else."

Rose nodded, "I won't say anything, Bella, I swear. But you should tell him soon, like, really soon."

The lesson before lunch had just finished and I was heading to the cafeteria. I was thinking over Rosalie's words and figured she was right. I really did need to tell Jacob before this got too out of hand. I wouldn't be able to hold his hand without thinking about how different Edward's felt in mine. I wouldn't be able to kiss him without thinking about how much better Edward's kisses were. On top of that, I didn't really _want_ to kiss him. I felt like kissing Jacob now would be betraying Edward but I hadn't felt that way about Jacob when Edward and I had our little make-out session last night.

And that was it. Three little words and I couldn't tear my mind away from the memories of his lips on mine, my hands in his hair. Not going to lie I was more sexually frustrated than I had ever been before, especially after the stunt Edward pulled this morning, getting me all worked up just to stop before things even really got started.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that the hands grabbing at my waist and pulling me into a classroom made me yelp in surprise before I heard the door shut behind me and I looked up to see Edward grinning crookedly.

Before I could so much as smile he crushed his lips to mine, backing me up to the wall.

"What." Kiss. "Are." Kiss. "You." Kiss, kiss. "Doing?" I gasped as his teeth grazed my bottom lip and I moaned. His hands kneaded my ass as I scratched my fingers lightly through his hair, he shivered and groaned.

"I missed you," he panted as I released his lips and kissed down his neck, "And I realised that it was pretty mean of me to just leave you like that, what with making you sexually frustrated and all." He chuckled as I pinched his side.

"Yes," I growled, "That _was_ really mean." But my stomach fluttered when he said he had missed me.

His hands moved round from my ass to my hips and travelled up my sides going under my shirt. They were so warm and smooth as they stroked against my skin and rose higher to cover my breasts. He kneaded and I arched with a moan. "Am I forgiven?" He asked, kissing me and slipping his tongue into my mouth, rubbing it against my own in time with the movement of his hands. I nodded, never taking my lips from his, it was just too good.

I gasped for both air and in pleasurable surprise as his thumbs pressed and rubbed against my nipples over my bra and my nails scraped down his back to his behind. His very sexy behind. I grabbed the belt loops of his jeans with my fingers and pulled his hips to mine.

Edward gave a throaty chuckled, "A little eager, Swan?"

I smiled into the kiss at the memory, "Very." Then I took hold of one of his hands, he froze probably thinking I must have been uncomfortable and wanted to stop.

"Baby?" He asked, worried, his forehead pressed to mine, his eyes full of concern.

"Shhh," I breathed. I slowly moved his hand lower till they reached my jeans and his eyes locked with mine as he moved to press a tender kiss to my lips. Slowly, he stroked between my legs and I sucked in a breath my eyes closing but I could feel his on my face, watching my every reaction. I breathed in deeply as he rubbed his hand against me over my jeans, I could smell the scent of his leather jacket, his manly cologne and something that was just Edward. I could feel myself getting wet and his light stroke wasn't enough, I ground my hips against his hand and he applied more pressure. I whimpered.

He gave me a sweet adoring kiss, "Feel good, baby?" He murmured huskily against my lips.

I nodded breathlessly when suddenly the noise of a door handle rattling sounded throughout the room and we both gasped, spinning round to see the outline of a teacher trying to get through the door Edward had locked after he had pulled me in. I thanked god he had thought to do that because I certainly hadn't.

"Edward," I gasped in a whisper, he put his finger to my lips to silence me and quietly moved to grab our bags.

The teacher, left, probably to go and fetch keys and Edward took my hand in his, sneaking to the door and opening it a crack. There were no students as, by now, they were all in the cafeteria or outside and there was no sign of the teacher. We darted out of the classroom and it wasn't till we had reached the end of the corridor and were safely outside that Edward burst into laughter and I gave an uncertain chuckle.

"That was the funniest thing ever."

I shook my head, "That was way too close for my liking." I gave him a small glare and he laughed harder.

"Oh come on, you have to admit that was a little funny."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile. He chortled as he wrapped his arms around my waist and bent to kiss my cheek, "Mmm, I'm just sorry we didn't get to finish what we started." He looked up at me to find my scowl and laughed, "Sorry, baby." He kissed me.

"It's not your fault," I sighed, deepening the kiss a little. We were interrupted, yet again, but this time by the vibrating of my phone, it was in my pocket and Edward felt it against his thigh and chuckled, pulling away as I growled in annoyance yanking at my phone to see who had diverted my attention, once again, away from the very sexy gorgeous guy in front of me.

I blushed when I saw who the message was from. I showed Edward and he laughed loudly.

Charlie. _I'm working late tonight, Bells. Don't wait up. Dad._

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and Edward folded me into an embrace again, "What did he want?"

"He told me not to wait up tonight, he's working late."

Edward pulled back a little, "Does that mean you're free tonight?"

I nodded with a smile, "Why, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking we could start on that project."

Wow. I think I was rubbing off on Edward Cullen.

"Where were you at lunch?" Alice asked in my last lesson of the day. Gym. Ugh. She was stood on the opposite side of the tennis court, Rosalie on my side, and said blonde beauty shared a significant look with me. She had known where I was.

"I, err…I had to talk to Mr Banner about the project."

"Oh. Were you asking to change partners? You know, get out of having to do it with that douche?"

Rosalie watched me warily and my hand tightened around the tennis racket, well a weapon really when in my uncoordinated hands.

"No," I said shortly.

Alice frowned in confusion but Rosalie hit the tennis ball to her so she was sufficiently distracted.

"Why not?" Alice asked, "You don't really want to work with the jerk do you?"

At this moment the ball came sailing towards me and instead of ducking out the way and letting Rose handle it as I normally would have I hit the ball with so much force – a result of my anger at Alice – that it flew over the net, but due to my bad aim it hit Mike Newton right in the balls and he collapsed to the ground with a girly scream.

I gasped, my hand moving to cover my mouth. Mike Newton had always been an unwanted admirer and I couldn't help the little internal punch in the air but immediately felt so guilty about it.

Both Alice and Rose were trying to hold in their giggles and I glared at them due to my guilty conscience as I rushed over to him and crouched by his side, "It's not funny," I hissed at them before saying to Mike, "I'm so, so sorry. Are you okay?"

His head rose and I found his face practically purple, his eyes squinted shut as he nodded and squeaked, "Yeah, it's okay. Didn't hurt that bad." He sounded like he'd sucked the helium out of a balloon.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked for the thousandth time as I walked with Mike across the parking lot. He held a bag of ice to his crotch and he winced with every step he took.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." His voice had returned to normal though he seemed to be speaking with a deeper tone as though to make up for his girly squeals earlier.

"I feel so bad," I bit my lip, stopping when we reached his car.

He shook his head, "Don't, it was an accident." Then a glint came into his eyes that I really didn't like the look of and he said, "But if you really want to make up for injuring me and decreasing my chances of having children, then let me take you on a date."

I stared, mouth agape, the nerve of him! "No," I shook my head, "You'll just have to deal with an apology and a promise that that will be the one and only time I will ever have any sort of connection to your balls. Ass." And with that I stormed in the direction of Edward's car where he was stood, watching the interaction with a frown. I was a little self-conscious, thinking every eye in the school was on me and I made my way over to him, but at least we had the pretense of the biology project.

"Why were you with that douchebag?" Edward asked, glaring in the direction of Mike.

"I hit him in the balls with a tennis ball." Edward howled with laughter as I slid into his car and heard him mutter something along the lines of "Good, he's a prick."

Hmmm, was Edward jealous? I smiled a little as his possessiveness.

"So where are we going?" I asked as he pulled onto the road.

He glanced at me, "Do you want to come to my house?"

I smiled with a nod and he slipped his free hand into mine, "Will your parents be home?"

"My mom will with my little sister, doubt my dad will be. He's never home when I'm around." I frowned in confusion, the tone of his voice suggested that his father was never home _because _Edward was around, but that couldn't be right.

"How old is your sister?"

"She's three." Edward smiled and a doting look came into his eyes, "Follows me around everywhere so we may not have any privacy." A worry line appeared between in brows, "Do you mind? We can go somewhere else, if you like."

I shook my head and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. It was clear that he cared for his sister deeply and I wanted to meet the three year old that seemed to bring out the "true Edward". I was so bold as to think that we may be the only two people who were able to do such a thing. I never saw Edward talking to people at school though that may be because the boys were scared of him and the girls were too enamoured by his good looks to actually be physically able to speak while in his presence. I know it took me a while to think clearly while around him, even now.

He pulled into the drive of his house. It was huge. A big white building looking very modern and beautiful nestled into the wooded forest. As Edward helped me out of the car, taking my hand, I could hear the trickling of a stream nearby.

"Your house is amazing."

He gave a half-shrug, "It's alright. I prefer your house."

"Really?" I asked, arching my eyebrow.

He nodded, "It's smaller." He seemed to think this a perfectly reasonable explanation but it was one that I, along with probably many other people, couldn't understand. Most people I knew would love to live in a big house like this – it was clear that the Cullen's had money – yet here Edward was saying he preferred my house that could probably fit in only a section of the ground floor of his.

"Come on," he tugged at my hand gently leading me inside. He dumped his bag in the entrance and took mine for me and did the same when a girly squealing noise came from somewhere in another room and I saw a tiny blur of pink and blonde crash into Edward's legs.

"Eddie!" It screeched yet sounded like a harmony of bells.

Edward laughed as he bent down and picked up the little girl, holding her up in the air and they rubbed their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. He lowered her to sit on his hip and she fiddled with the collar of his sexy leather jacket and giggled. "Hey, there, Katie. Had a good day?" Edward asked, his voice much softer than I had ever heard before.

"Uh-huh, me and momma make cakes." She was the sweetest little girl I had ever seen in my life. She had big, bright sapphire eyes, rosy red cheeks and blonde ringlets that were falling out of the band that had held them in a ponytail. She had ruby cupid lips with the biggest beautiful smile, and she was dressed in a pink dungaree dress with a little white t-shirt underneath.

"You did?" Edward mock gasped, "I hope you saved some for me."

I think my heart was melting, he was so sweet with her, I could tell by the adoring look on his face as he chatted with her that she was a very important part of his life.

She nodded grinning, "I make you one wid a "E" on it."

"Oh thank you." He kissed her cheek and she giggled, burying her face in his neck. "Katie, I want you to meet my friend." He turned to face me and she looked up with a heart-warming smile, she was just too cute. "Katie this is my friend Bella, Bella this is Kate."

"Hi Kate," I smiled, she grinned back at me.

"You can caww me Katie." She watched me with a big stunning eyes and I felt as though I was being assessed on whether I was good enough for her big brother. It seemed she approved because she gave a little nod, "Do you wike cakes, Bewwa?"

I grinned at her total innocence and her disability to pronounce the letter "L", "I love cakes." I told her.

She clapped her hands excitedly and wriggled in Edward's arms, "I go make you one, wet me down Eddie, I need to teww momma." Edward set her down on the floor and she skipped off to what I presumed was the kitchen.

Edward smiled at me and I smirked back, "You're a good big brother, Eddie."

To my surprise he blushed, "Don't call me that," he said playfully, "She's only allowed to call me that because she can't say my name. Nor yours by the sound of it."

I rolled my eyes as he took my hand and led me to the kitchen. Kate was sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar, a frown of concentration on her face as she decorated a fairy cake, her tongue stuck out, her legs swinging. Edward's mother, or who I assumed was Edward's mother was stood on the other side of the breakfast bar watching Kate. She had caramel hair that was pulled up into a ponytail and stunning green eyes that matched Edward's. She looked more like Edward than Kate, but I could see her beauty in Kate. She had some flour smudged on her face from the making of the fairy cakes and icing on her hands. She wiped them on the apron she had on as she looked up and spotted Edward and I. Her eyes shone with what looked like hope as she gazed upon us, her eyes travelling to our linked hands and smile lit up her face.

"Hey mom," Edward said moving us further into the room, "This is Bella. Bella, this is my mom, Esme."

I stepped forward to shake her now cleaner hand, "Nice to meet you, Mrs Cullen."

"Please, call me Esme dear, don't make me feel as old as I am." She grinned, "It's wonderful to meet you, too. I assume you are the young lady my daughter just declared she had to make a cake for?"

I laughed, "Yes, that would be me."

She smiled and turned to Kate when she called for her mother's help. "So, did you kids have a good day at school?"

I looked down with a blush remembering our too close call while thinking that we had had a very good day indeed. I saw Edward smirk at me, clearly understanding where my thoughts had gone and replied to his mom, "Yeah, it was okay. Just school, you know?"

"Done!" Kate cried, "Here," she held out a fairy cake to me and I took it with a smile. She had tried to write my name in green icing, I understood the "B" but the rest just looked like squiggles.

I gave a pretend gasp, "How did you know green in my favourite colour?" Kate giggled.

"I is cwever."

I chuckled, "Yes, you are, you even wrote my name." She beamed proudly, kicking her legs.

"Eddie, dis your one." She held out another for Edward but when he went to take it she shook her head, "No, I feed you."

He shook his head with a grin and leant his folded arms on the bar and opened his mouth. Kate aimed for his mouth but missed completely and hit his nose. Edward gasped as Kate laughed loudly when she pulled the cake away and saw his face smothered with blue icing.

"Look what you did!" He gasped with mock anger only resulting in Kate's giggles. "You're going to have to help me clean up." He said and lifted her from the chair, swinging her gently over his shoulder so she hung upside down. She burst into peals of laughter.

"Save me, save me." She squealed through her laughter, trying to hit Edward's butt.

"I'll be right back," Edward told me, I nodded, laughing at the pair of them as he took her out of the room growling playfully about payback. I turned to see Esme watching her children as they left the room, with a happy smile on her face.

"Is he always like that with her?" I asked.

Esme nodded with a grin, "Yes, he's good to her, he'd do anything for her. He loves her a lot and Kate absolutely adores him."

I shook my head, unable to keep the smile from my face; "I've never seen him like that before with anyone."

Esme watched me carefully and said softly, "He's like that with you."

I frowned, confused, she had hardly seen us interact yet was trying to tell me that I shared with Edward what he also shared with Kate, some sort of deep bond.

"Trust me," she murmured, "Edward hasn't been Edward for a long while. The only time I ever see him without all his walls standing strong is when he's with Kate. But the moment I saw you with him, the way he looks at you…" She trailed off with a wistful shake of her head, "You bring out the best in him, Bella. You're bringing my Edward back."

I was shocked that she had spoken such words to me, a complete stranger that she didn't even know. And I asked her, "How do you know that it's my doing? Not to be rude but, you don't know me."

She smiled warmly, "I know my son. And I hadn't seen him in a long time until the minute you walked into this room with him."

So I had been right. Edward hadn't always been so cold and hard and rebellious which meant that something _had_ happened to make him become that way. My curiosity returned at full force and I knew one way or another I was going to find out what it was.

My musings were interrupted when Edward entered the room again, cradling Kate in his arms bridal style and the pair of them were soaking wet.

"We had water fight, momma." Kate giggled.

"I can see that," Esme chuckled.

"Bewwa, you come pway?" She asked sweetly.

"Bella and I need to do some homework," Edward said lightly, "But we'll come play with you when we're done, okay?"

Kate nodded as he set her down on the stool again and he took my hand, "We're going upstairs," he said to his mother as we left the room.

"She likes you, you know." Edward said as we made our way upstairs.

"Who?" I wondered.

"Katie."

"How do you know?"

"She let you call her Katie," he explained, "She doesn't let anyone call her Katie that she isn't sure about. Still makes my cousin, Tanya, call her Kate and she's known her all her life."

My heart warmed at his words and I felt ecstatic that Kate seemed to approve of me so fully when she meant so much to Edward.

We had been working on the project an hour or so in Edward's room when a little knock at the door interrupted us. Someone fumbled at the door handle and it cracked open, Kate's little face peering into the room.

"Momma say dinner is weady if yous want some." She said.

Edward glanced up at me in question and I said, "I think we've done enough for today. I'm starving."

Kate grinned and skipped down the hall.

"Wait, Katie," Edward called after her, hurriedly. We heard her huff and I couldn't help but laugh at her impatience.

Edward went to pick her up to carry her down the stairs but she whined, "No, I do it, I do it."

"Katie, you might fall." He said.

She scowled at him and I bit my lip trying not to laugh, he glared at me and I smirked back.

"How about you hold my hand?" He asked.

She shook her head, "No, I howd Bewwa's."

I watched Edward grin as she took my hand and we headed to the stairs. I kept a good hold on her, terrified I would let her fall - Edward would kill me - while her other hand clutched at the banister – or what she could reach of it. And we took one step at a time, she made sure to put both of her little feet on the step before moving to the next and it was a slow process but we eventually made it downstairs where I picked her up in a hug, "You did it all by yourself."

She beamed happily, proud of herself before turning to Edward and saying, "See!"

I laughed my head off as we went to the kitchen to eat.

After dinner Kate insisted we watch her favourite film, Tangled, and I'm not going to lie, I was as engrossed in the movie as she was. We all sat of the sofa and she kept moving from my lap to Edward's till he lifted her up above him with a roar, "Stop fidgeting!"

She squealed with laughter and I heard the front door close and looked up to find Edward's father watching us. He had blonde hair and blue eyes like Kate but his features were Edward's and I could see where Edward got his gorgeous looks from but there was a sharp look about him that came off as cold and unfriendly.

"Hiya, daddy." Kate said from up in the air in Edward's hands which alerted him to his father's presence. His playfulness stopped and I could almost see the walls in his green eyes coming up and shielding him. He lowered Katie to his lap where she snuggled into his chest and he turned his attention back to the television saying nothing to his father.

"Hey, baby girl," he said to his daughter moving into the room and taking Kate from Edward's arms and I got the feeling it was as though he didn't want Edward holding her. I heard Edward's jaw snap shut and he didn't move his eyes away from the screen. The tension was rolling off his body in waves and I took his hand in mine. He squeezed gently but other than that didn't pay any other acknowledgement.

"Daddy, dat's Bewwa." Kate pointed to me with a grin and I smiled.

I held my hand out to shake and Edward's hold on my other hand tightened, "Bella Swan."

"Chief Swan's daughter." Shit. He eyed mine and Edward's closeness on the sofa and our intertwined hands as he shook my other. I nodded. "Carlisle Cullen."

"I'll be back in a second." Edward said to me as he stood, swerving round his father and Katie and disappearing. What the hell was going on? I was clearly missing something.

Carlisle let Kate down as she wriggled and ran in the direction Edward went. I sat awkwardly on the sofa while Carlisle stood and I could feel his eyes on me.

"Bella," He said quietly and sat down beside me, "I couldn't help notice your closeness to my son." Was he worried about us kissing in front of Katie or something? "I'm concerned." Okay, now I was officially confused. "Edward…Edward isn't a good person for you to be around Bella. I apologise for my bluntness but it must be said. I told your father that he should warn you to stay away from Edward and now I'm telling you. He is not a good person for a girl like you to be with. He means well, most of the time, but doesn't think before he acts and causes more harm than good. He's foolish and could get you into a lot of trouble. I guarantee he will end up only hurting you, Bella. It is in your best interest to stay away from my son."

I stared in total shock. How could this man sit here so calmly and say such things about his own son, his own flesh and blood. How dare he. How _dare_ he.

"With all due respect sir, I can't help but think you are wrong." I said tightly, keeping my anger in check.

He sighed, "Well then I can only hope you will think this over and listen to me before you get hurt."

He stood and left the room, leaving me glaring after him.

Edward did not return to the living room so I decided to go find him once I had calmed down. As I headed for the kitchen I heard the most beautiful sound coming from another room. It sounded like a piano. I gravitated toward the sound and found Edward sat at a beautiful grand piano singing softly to himself the words of a song I didn't know.

He stopped playing when he noticed me standing in the doorway. "That was amazing," I breathed not raising my voice in fear of it breaking. I swallowed the lump in my throat at Carlisle's harsh words about his only son and the image of Edward sitting looking so lost playing such a melancholy tune. Again I was in awe of how Carlisle could say such things about Edward but this time I wasn't angry. This time I was filled with such a strong sense of grief for Edward and my heart ached for him. "Don't stop." I whispered moving to sit next to him on the piano stool.

He began to play a beautiful song but this time did not sing. It was so sweet and light and full of hope and joy and came to a tinkling end that made the tears in my eyes fall.

"That was beautiful," I murmured, "Did you write that?"

Edward nodded as he turned more so he could brush the tears from my face. "You inspired it." His soft confession had more tears flowing and I buried my face in his chest as he held me to him. In that moment I hated Carlisle. I hated him with everything in my body for being so cruel to Edward. The most kindest, sweetest, most perfect, truly misunderstood man on the planet. He kissed the top of my head and I hugged myself to him tighter.

I realised in that moment that I was in love with him. I was in love with Edward Cullen. And I wasn't going anywhere.

* * *

**Yay, she loves him! **

**So how much do we all love Edward with his little sister and how much do we hate Carlisle? :)**

**I've created a blogger account which you can find on my profile and follow. It's just got banners and a few things for my stories and may show this story if it gets pulled down. **

**Review!**


	8. Little Things

**Finally another chapter, I know it's been longer than normal since I last updated but I've been a bit busy, sorry! Anyways, this story is rated M for a reason and...Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Seven  
Little Things

I lay in bed that night, having made dinner for Charlie and put it in the microwave, and pondered over everything, thinking of what needed to be done. I used to make plans before Edward came along. I made plans and lists and deadlines and it wasn't something Edward had taken away from me, it was just something I learned didn't need to be used all the time. But I was using it now.

Number one, I needed to tell Jake. Number two; I was going to tell Jake by the end of the weekend. Number three – deep breath – I had to tell Charlie. I was going to tell him because I couldn't see Edward and constantly lie about him for the rest of my life, because I sincerely hoped that Edward was going to be in my life for a very long time. Number four; I needed to let my friends know about this, not just Rose. I didn't much feel like lying to them for the rest of my life either. I needed to explain to them how Edward wasn't the person we had thought he was. I needed them to understand and accept that and if they didn't…well that could very well be the end of our friendship. But I doubted that would happen. Rose accepted it easily enough after I explained everything. Number five; I had to find out what happened to make Edward behave the way that he has been for however many years.

As I went over the list in my head my phone vibrated on my nightstand and I grinned, anticipating seeing Bad Boy flashing on the screen. I frowned when I saw Jacob's name instead.

_Gone to see my sister and her husband, be back next week. Jake. _

I sighed, well damn; the list was going to have to wait. I couldn't tell Jacob something like this over the phone let alone through a text message.

Charlie had called me earlier on in the evening and told me that he'd be back at work before I woke up in the morning and probably wouldn't be seeing much of him the rest of the weekend. This, to me, meant I wasn't really grounded. What the hell could Charlie do if he wasn't even here to stop be going out the house.

I pressed the button to compose and new text and typed:

_Charlie will be gone all weekend :) – B x_

And sent it to Edward. His reply was instant.

_Good. We're going out tomorrow – E x_

I grinned and asked, even though I already knew the answer.

_Do I get to know where this time? – x_

_Nope, you'll just have to trust me ;) close your eyes and jump, baby. – x _

I smiled, my heart still fluttered whenever he called me that, verbally or otherwise.

_I trust you, always – x _

_Good to know :) Will Charlie be gone by 9? – x_

_Yep – x_

_Then that's when I'll be there to pick you up – x_

_Okay. See you then – x_

_Sleep well baby – x_

_You too – x _

That night I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face and happily anticipating the next rather than dreading the tedious and boring as I usually would have without Edward in my life.

Edward was at my door at nine o'clock on the dot. I had just finished eating my cereal and I glanced in the mirror in the hallway as I skipped to open the door. I was wearing some a pair of dark skinny jeans with a loose knitted, beige off the shoulder sweater. My hair was in loose curls and I had taken the time to put on a bit of mascara and lip-gloss. I had found myself wanting to look nice for Edward and when I opened the door and he gave me an appreciative smile as he pulled me into a kiss, I gave a little internal "Yes!" in triumph.

"You look pretty," he smiled and I gave him an extra kiss for the compliment.

"Let me just go grab my keys and we can go." I told him. I skipped off to the kitchen and found my keys in the junk draw. Yesterday I had had to climb the tree and through my window after having locked myself out that morning. I wasn't planning on doing that again any time soon.

He held my hand the entire drive to wherever we were going, which happened to be about an hour away.

He let me mess around with his radio, which I knew annoyed him, and I purposely played stupid girly songs to get on his nerves. He was too easy to wind up and I got enjoyment from it.

"Really?" He asked when I put on Hit Me Baby One More Time. "You seriously like Britney Spears?"

I laughed, "No, but neither do you and watching your face is funny."

He scowled playfully, "That's it, the radios going off."

"No, no, no, I'll stop, I swear."

"Fine,"

"Just one more," I said quickly as I came across Barbie Girl playing on some radio station.

He shook his head pretending to be in pain as I sang along, "Come on, you be Ken!"

"No!" He shouted with a grin.

"Please?" I fluttered my eyelashes and he groaned.

"I swear to god if you tell anyone I let you do this to me…!" He trailed off, shaking his head.

"You should be grateful I'm not trying out make-up on you."

"Like any guy would let a girl do that to him." Edward scoffed.

I smirked, "Jasper's let Alice do it to him numerous occasions, but don't let him know I told you that. He'd kill me."

Half an hour later I was desperate to know where we were going. "Let's play a game." I said.

"Okay," Edward smiled stroking my thigh.

"Twenty Questions. I'm asking the questions and I'm guessing where we're going."

Edward smirked cockily, "Okay," he sounded too confident which meant he thought there was no way I was going to guess it.

"Are we going to a private place?"

"No."

"Will we be outside?"

"Most of the time."

"Will we be eating?"

"Probably, if we get hungry."

Sixteen questions later, I had one left and still didn't have a clue. I crossed my arms angrily, he had been way too cocky earlier and I had wanted to prove that sometimes he wasn't going to win.

"Given up, baby?" He chuckled.

"Never."

He shook his head, "You know, you're too stubborn for your own good."

"Well, you're too cocky for your own good." I mumbled thinking over where on earth we could be going. I was watching the signs and seeing if I could gain a clue from them but they weren't much help. They just kept suggesting there was a theme park nearby. I was pretty sure we weren't going to a theme park. But my stomach twisted with anxiety when he turned off down one of the roads heading in that direction.

Then when the twists and tangles of roller coasters, like a million feet up in the air could be seen I began to have serious doubts about my idea of being pretty sure we weren't going to a theme park.

I thought I was going to pass out when Edward pulled the car into the parking lot.

"A theme park." I breathed with a gulp.

"Yeah!" Edward cheered jokingly, "Well done baby, you guessed it in exactly twenty questions!"

"A theme park?" I gasped again.

"Yep."

"With rides?"

"Yep."

"And the possibility of crashing on one of the rides and dying at the tender age of eighteen?"

Edward laughed, "Bella, relax." He got out of the car and came round to my side, opening the door for me.

"You know what? I can just stay here. Watch the car for you."

He grinned and took my hand, gently pulling me out of the car. He wrapped his arm around my waist after shifting a rucksack onto his shoulder and led me towards the entrance. I could hear people screaming and the horrible music that was meant to fill you with fear and tension. It was working.

"Bella, I'll be right here with you the whole time." He murmured as he paid for our tickets and the guy let us through.

"Have you been here before?" I asked as I clutched at his hand tightly.

"Yeah, a couple of time when I was younger, with my dad." His voice got quiet and he had a frown on his face. He shouldn't be unhappy. I'd do anything to make him smile. I scowled, there was no way I was going to let fucking Carlisle ruin today, even if that meant going on the stupid rides. I would do it to see Edward smile.

"Was there a reason you decided that I should risk my life?"

He chuckled, "You said you'd never been to a theme park before." He shrugged, "I thought you would like to try it out, you know, a new thrill and all that?"

My eyes widened, I had no idea he remembered that. I mean sure, it wasn't that long ago we had had the conversation but it wasn't exactly a significant one. I myself had completely forgotten about it yet here Edward was, wanting me to experience something most people had already.

My tension and fear disappeared for a second just enough for me to realise just how sweet and considerate Edward was. I didn't need grand gestures and expensive presents; it was the little things that counted like bringing me to a theme park because I had told him I had never been before. Like holding my hand so as not to let me fall. Like suggesting we work on our project than make out because he knew it was important to me. And as stupid as it sounded I felt a lump in my throat at his thoughtfulness.

It was a moment before I realised he was watching me with a wary expression, "We can leave, if you like." His voice was uncertain and worried, "If you're really that scared we can go someplace else."

"No, no." I shook my head with a stunned smile, "No I'm glad you brought me here. Thank you." I stood on my tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips and I could feel him smiling.

"You're welcome."

I grinned, pulling my arm through his and saying cheerfully, "Come on, let's go die on a roller coaster."

He laughed loudly, leading us both inside.

"So, where do you want to go first?" He asked.

I looked around at all the people and the queues and jumped when a group of screaming people sailed through loop-the-loops above our heads. "I don't know. You've been here before, you pick."

His eyes sparkled mischievously, "Oh you really shouldn't have said that." And he took my hand, pulling me gently to a white a blue roller coaster that curved in an arc. I gulped nervously as the people strapped into the seats chatted anxiously when suddenly they were shot forward as though in a rocket screaming their heads off and were down in under twenty seconds. Edward tugged me gently to the queue that was too small for my liking.

"It's called Stealth," he said to me, "It's 200 feet high and goes from zero to eighty miles per hour in under two seconds," he was grinning excitedly.

"Y-you know, maybe we should go on a different one first like…I don't know, the spinning teacups?" I stuttered pulling back a little as I gazed up at the coaster, horrified when a girl walked past us having just got off, crying her eyes out.

Edward chortled as he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder and moving us forward, "You'll be fine, I promise."

"Edward, I really, really doubt that."

He kissed my neck and I could hear the smirk as he spoke, "How about I distract you?"

I jumped and yelped as the car shot off again, carrying the screaming passengers to their fate, "I don't know if that's possible."

"Oh, I do," he growled softly in my ear, kissing along my jaw. My heart was pounding from both terror and Edward's kisses but as we neared the front of the line I thought I was going to pass out.

"Seriously I think I'm going to throw up," I mumbled, trying to keep my mouth closed as best I could while speaking.

I felt his arms tighten around me, "Bella," he murmured, "I'd never let you get hurt, you know that right? I'll always keep you safe. You trust me, don't you?"

I nodded biting my lip.

"So close your eyes and jump," he grinned.

"Ugh, you'll be able to make me do anything with those words." I growled angrily, only making him laugh harder.

We finally reached the front of the line where a man held up a bar to see if people were too short to be allowed onto the ride. "Oh would you look at that, I don't think I'm tall enough." I said.

Edward rolled his eyes as he grabbed my hand and headed for the seats. He dumped his bag to the side of the coaster and led me to sit near the front, helping me climb over the first seat to get to the second, two people to a row.

As I sat and ripped my hand from his and rushed to pull the seat restraints over my head and buckle it in. Edward watched me in amusement as he pulled his down calmly and we waited for the woman to check we were in safely. She hardly even glossed over mine before moving to the next person.

"Wait," I gasped.

"What?" Edward wondered.

"She didn't check mine properly, I'm gonna be propelled out of the seat."

Edward shook his head with a smile and took my hand in his bringing it to his lips and kissing it. "Trust me," he said, his eyes burning into mine. Goddammit this guy was seriously going to be the death of me.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" I chanted as we waited for the ride to get started.

I gave a little yelp and clutched Edward's hand tightly when the voice of a man said, "Brace yourselves, it's going to be a bumpy ride in 3…2…1…GO!"

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"

I had never screamed so loud in my entire life and in eighteen seconds, it was all over.

"Let's do it again! Let's do it again!" I cried, beaming, jumping up and down at Edward's side, his hand still holding mine.

He laughed, "I thought you didn't want to die at the tender age of eighteen."

"Oh shush! That was amazing!"

He chuckled, kissing the top of my head as we made our way to the exit of the ride to a counter and a set of screens where we found our picture. My hair was whipped around, my cheeks flushed and my mouth was open though with a smile as I screamed and Edward was looking at me with a smile on his face at my gleeful joy.

"You want it?" Edward asked, watching me as I gazed at the photo. I nodded wordlessly as he asked the woman at the counter for a copy of it. And he put it in his rucksack so I wouldn't have to carry it.

"Ready for some more rides?"

"Hell yeah!" I laughed.

Once I'd had a taste of the thrill the roller coasters offered me I was officially addicted. We had gone on almost every ride in the park and were stopping for lunch before we continued with the rest of them.

We were sat eating our food, Edward's arm around my shoulders, when suddenly a great wave of ice-cold water came crashing over us. I screamed, jumping up, pulling Edward with me and we turned to find that we had been sitting in a very stupid position by a ride called Tidal Wave in which the passengers and poor victims who were anywhere near the coaster were soaked due to the huge splash of water as the carriage crashed into it.

I gasped, flicking my wet hair from my face and spun round to see Edward completely drenched from head to toe and I couldn't help but laugh to see his usually perfect bronze hair plastered to his head.

He glared, "It's not funny."

I was clutching my stomach and doubled up in hysterics as he shook his head like a wet dog. "Y-yes, yes it is!"

He rolled his eyes and couldn't seem to help join in with my laughter as he took in my own wet clothes and now soggy sandwich.

Why anyone would want to go on that ride on such a grey day was beyond me. I hadn't even been on it and I was frozen to the bone, my teeth chattering a little as Edward and I moved to find a better spot to sit – though it hardly mattered now. Lucky for him he'd put his jacket in the rucksack earlier on so had something dry to protect him from the cold. I however, had nothing except the sweater I wore, now soaked through to my skin.

"Come on," Edward said, leading me to the locker room in which some people decided to leave their bags for the day.

"What are we doing in here?" I asked, looking around the empty rooms, no one appeared to be around.

I watched Edward as he started pulling things out the bag, looking for something. "I've got a hoodie in here somewhere, you can take your sweater off and change into it instead so you won't be cold."

I smiled at his thoughtfulness. It really was the little things. And suddenly, I couldn't help but feel very, very attracted to him.

"I bet there's something else you could do to keep me warm," I murmured with a slight blush.

He looked up at me sharply as a grin spread across his face. He straightened from where he was bent over the bag and took my hand pulling me towards him. I smiled with a happy hum of contentment as he leant down and pressed his lips to mine.

I grasped his hair in my fingers tugging him impossibly closer, sucking on his full, delicious bottom lip before pushing my tongue past and into his mouth, thrusting and stroking it against his own.

One of his hands cupped my ass, pulling my hips closer to his, and the other was caressing my cheek softly before it lowered and moulded to the curve of my breast. I whimpered into his mouth and he gently kneaded and squeezed. My own hands were pulling and tugging at his wet shirt as it stuck damply to his sexy chiselled abs and chest.

I ran my fingertips up his torso under his shirt and gently scraped my nails down his chest to his nipple which I pinched and elicited a throaty groan of my name in my ear.

I ran my fingertips lightly down his stomach lower and lower over his abs, which flinched a little at the tickling sensation before he pressed his body tighter to mine in response.

I jumped up lightly, with every ounce of confidence that he would catch me, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I jerked my hips against his as I nipped at his lip before he crushed his mouth against mine walking backwards a little till the back of his knees hit the bench in the centre of the room and he sat slowly.

"Edward," I gasped, my hips wriggling once more. "Please."

He moved his hand slowly down until the reached my jeans which he began to unbutton with one hand, his eyes gazing into mine, both looking for and offering reassurance. He pulled down the zipper, I shivered at the noise and felt myself become wetter in anticipation.

He moved his hand inside my jeans as I breathed heavily, occasionally pressing my lips to his with kisses before resting my forehead back to his and gazing deep into the emerald pools that were his beautiful eyes. I gasped as his hand cupped me over my panties. His hand was so much hotter than before without the barrier of denim. His fingers rubbed gently and my panties got wetter and wetter with each stroke of his hand. He rubbed a little deeper, a little firmer and the soft material caressed against the bundle of nerves, I whimpered and he pressed a tender kiss to my lips. My eyes closed as he moved his fingertips to rub against the sweet spot that felt oh so good and I sucked in a sharp intake of breath.

"Edward," I moaned, my shoulders tensing, my hands clutching at the collar of his shirt tightly as I ground myself harder against his hand.

"Baby, your panties are so wet." He whispered, his sweet breath caressing my face. His hand rose a little and I whined at the loss before I felt his fingertips grazing from hipbone to hipbone under the waistband on my panties. His lips moved to my neck and licked and sucked and kissed so pleasantly. I pressed my forehead to his shoulder as his hand moved over my folds and his finger rubbed lightly over my clit before dipping down into the wetness and dragging back stroking circles around my clit.

My back arched as his teeth grazed my neck. I tensed and cried out, pressing my face deeper into his shoulder, gripping his hair in my hand, as waves and waves of pleasure washed over me as he brought me to a high I had never reached before.

He pressed affectionate kisses to my temple and massaged the sensitive area tenderly, gently bringing me down from my high. I was panting hard and shivers ran through my body and down my spine every now and then.

"You okay baby?" He asked softly, his hand stroking up and down my back soothingly.

I moved my head to look into his eyes trying to convey the depth of everything I was feeling in that moment, I shook my head, I was way more than okay. Okay didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. But as I looked into the green eyes that I had fallen in love with I saw the understanding in them and realised I didn't need to say anything at all.

I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly, one, twice again and again and we sat for a while in more than comfortable silence. He nuzzled my cheek with his nose brushing his lips every now and then all over my face before he murmured softly, "Let's get you out of these wet clothes, they can't be comfortable."

He buttoned and zipped my jeans and trailed his hands up my sides, lifting the sweater as he went. I felt completely relaxed and at ease as Edward lifted the top half of my clothing from my body, not feeling the slightest bit uncomfortable sitting with only a bra covering my chest. He smiled and kissed along my collarbone sweetly before reaching for the hoodie he had pulled out of his rucksack earlier and helped me put it on. He chuckled, watching me endearingly, as I pushed the too long sleeves over my hands and sniffed at the cuffs.

"Did you just sniff my hoodie?" He asked, amusement in his voice.

I nodded with a smile, "It smells like you."

He kissed my forehead before easing me off his lap and standing to pull out his sexy leather jacket from his bag and shrug it on. He took my hands in his and pulled me close much like he had before, so our torsos were pressed together, he leant down and rubbed his nose gently over mine in an adorable Eskimo kiss.

I stood on my tiptoes to give him another kiss and murmured softly, "Thank you."

He shook his head with a grin, "You have no idea Bella, I feel like I should be the one thanking you." I frowned in confusion and he explained, "It means a lot to me that you trusted me with something so personal like that. I l- I couldn't thank you enough for having so much faith in me."

I kissed his cheek and he asked, "Ready for some more thrilling rides?"

I gave a small chuckle, "I couldn't be more thrilled right now if I tried," he laughed and I said, "But sure. Why not?"

"Come on, let's go on this one." Edward dragged me towards a strange looking warehouse type building.

I frowned, "I don't think this is a ride."

"It's got the ride inside, it's based on the Saw movies."

"Oh yay!" I said sarcastically and Edward chuckled. We queued for a while before a man who worked there counted out eight of us and told us to come through the door on the left. Inside was a dark room with a camera on one end and the creepy little puppet guy who rides the bike in the movies and gives the instructions. We all had our picture taken before a man barged into the room shouting.

"Right, listen up, Jigsaw knows you're here. And there's no way out now except forward. No matter what happens stick together, make your way through the rooms to try and find the exit. Do not fall behind. If you do…you're on your own."

"Shit," Edward muttered. I looked up at him in confusion and he glanced at me worriedly, "Bella…I don't think this is the ride."

"What?"

"Well, there's a Saw maze here as well, I thought this was the ride but…" he trailed off as the man, or rather actor, from earlier pushed the group forwards.

"W-we're going in the maze?" I stuttered, "You mean with like, a-actors and people who jump out at you and stuff?"

Edward nodded, "Oh my god!" I gasped, "We should get out of here, like, now." But before we could head back out the guy closed the door behind us. "Oh my god!" I squeaked.

I slowly turned and we were in an almost pitch black room that looked like the replica of the bathroom type place in which the two men were stuck in in the first movie. There was a man sitting on the edge of the bath, frozen and staring, fake blood dripping down his face.

"Edward, I don't like this." I breathed, jumping when I heard the group who must have been in a few of the rooms in front of us screaming. I grabbed at Edward's hand, "Edward, I really, really don't like this."

I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind and pull me gently to him so my back was pressed to his chest, absolutely no room between us. He kissed behind my ear murmured, "I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't know. But, we've got to go forward to get out of here."

I jumped and screamed when we were almost out the door when the man sitting on the bath came running towards us with a roar. I clutched Edward's arms around me tightly and he squeezed me gently murmuring soothingly in my ear as he pushed us gently to the next room behind the others.

It took a while for our eyes to adjust to each room we went in due to the darkness and the smoke coming from the machines and flashing lights. "Let's play a game." Came the evil voice from speakers in the room I could not see. I whimpered and Edward kissed my temple. There seemed to be nothing in this room apart from numbers covering the walls, then all of a sudden a screaming man burst into view seeming to be covered in flames, a candle stuck in his hand.

"Ahhh!" I screamed out covering my face with my hands trusting Edward to lead me.

"Shhh," he soothed, "He's an actor, Bella, he can't touch you, they're not allowed."

"Don't like it. Don't like it. Don't like it." I was muttering over and over under my breath.

The next room again was filled with nothing but a girl sat curled in the corner, suddenly she looked up her hair matted with blood, "Help me," she sobbed, "He's going to kill me." As we hurriedly made out way to the door away from her she jumped up and charged at us screaming, "Don't leave me here!"

I screamed trying to back further into Edward's body but the girl was jolted and stopped before she reached us, a chain around her ankle keeping her from coming any further.

"It's okay, baby, you're okay," Edward said softly, rubbing my arms but keeping his wrapped tightly around me knowing I'd completely panic if he let go. "I think it's nearly over."

As we entered through the next door there was no one inside but in the middle was some short of machine than spun round trying to shoot us as we passed, loud bangs and shots rang throughout the room. We tried to walk around it but there was a grate I hadn't noticed on the other side which was impossible to see through due to the darkness but hands grabbed at out legs and arms as we passed.

I yelped trying to back away again before Edward urged me forward gently.

The last room was filled with big bags like sacks that hung from the ceiling, there were no people in this room either. The tension left my body and I sagged into Edward's chest in relief as we neared the exit, words above the door written in what was supposed to be blood said: "Well done, you survived…this time."

Suddenly one of the bags swung at us and I felt Edward jump and curse behind me as muffled shouts came from inside the sack. I looked over my shoulder at Edward to see his face, pale white, eyes wide, frozen in a state of shock and I couldn't help the giggle of laughter that escaped me at both his startled expression and relief we had reached the end.

He glared at me as he pushed me out the door and I stumbled, doubled over in laughter.

"So not funny." He muttered and stomped off to get his bag. I followed behind him, laughing all the way.

Ha! And I thought I was the scared one. I think he was just pissed his macho manly "I'm the man I'll protect you" front had been threatened.

"Aw, poor baby." I cooed pinching his cheek as I caught up with him.

"Shut it, Swan." But I saw the smirk that he was trying to hide.

I laughed, "It's your own fault, you were the one who dragged me in there."

He grinned guiltily, "My bad." I moved to stand in front of him and kissed his cheek when something over my shoulder seemed to catch his eye, "Let me make it up to you with ice-cream."

"Ice-cream? But it's cold." I said with a frown.

"It's never too cold for ice-cream."

A few minutes later we were sat on a wall eating our cold treats. Edward got that mischievous glint in his eye and I watched him warily as he asked if I wanted to taste his coconut flavoured ice cream. I should have known what was coming. He held out the cone for me to take a lick when suddenly the ice-cream was smashed into my face.

"Ahh!" I cried as he guffawed loudly.

"That'll teach you for laughing at me!" Then I spotted his phone in his hand, holding it up to me.

"No!" I giggled, trying to swipe at his cell but he yanked it out of my reach chuckling at the picture.

"Now that's what I call a screensaver."

"Let me see!" He turned the phone so I could look at the picture. Ice-cream covered my nose and face and I was laughing. "You are so not having that as your screensaver."

"Sure I am," he chuckled, "Bella Swan at her best."

I rolled my eyes as I wiped my face.

"Excuse me," we both turned to see a woman a little older than us with a warm smile, "Would you like a picture of the both of you?" I was about to answer a reply when she continued, "You just look like such a cute couple. How long have you been together?"

Edward glanced down at me and while staring into the green depths of his eyes I murmured, "Just…uh, just a few days."

"Wow," she seemed shocked before Edward passed her his phone. She took the picture and gave it back to me as Edward went to throw the serviettes we had used in the bin.

"You seemed surprised?" I said as she smiled looking back and forth between me and the retreating back of Edward.

"I am. The way you look at each other it's like you've been together years." She watched me carefully as I watched Edward, "The way that boy looks at you," she shook her head in wonder, "Don't let him go."

I smiled and thanked her and Edward came back over as I looked down at the photo she had taken. We were sat on the wall, our feet up as I leaned back into his chest, sat between his knees his arms around me. Edward's cheek was pressed to mine and we both had serene smiles on our faces. I'd never seen a picture in which I looked so happy.

Edward grinned at me as he took my hand. No. No, I wasn't going to let him go. I sighed. I needed to talk to Jacob.

* * *

**So, if the theme park sounded familiar to any of you it's because it was based on Thorpe Park in England. Afraid I'm not aware of any theme parks near Forks. **

**There is a link on my profile of Bella's outfit.**

**Review :)**


	9. Two Wrongs

**I know, it's been a while, sorry about that. Here's chapter nine. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Nine  
Two Wrongs

The weekend was over. Charlie was back which meant it would be harder to see Edward as I was still grounded. The beginning of the week also meant that Jacob returned from visiting his sister and her husband meaning that the talk was coming. Soon.

All of Monday all I could think about was the amazing weekend I'd spent with Edward. I couldn't believe he had remembered that I had never been to a theme park before and took it upon himself to "right that wrong" – his words, not mine. But after having spent all of Saturday at the theme park I had to agree with him. I had been missing out big time. But maybe I'd only had such a good time because it was Edward who took me. I wondered if I would have enjoyed it as much if Jake had been the one to take me.

I doubted it.

As if Jacob would have done what Edward and I did in the locker room. Not that that was the only reason I was in love with Edward, of course, but it did help. It was just horrible to want that with someone just to be rejected again and again. It felt good to be wanted.

All of Saturday night Edward and I were texting and I found myself picking up my phone and checking for a message, despite knowing he hadn't sent one yet. I felt like a giddy little school girl.

On Sunday we went to the meadow again and worked a little on the project and a lot on our kissing skills. And there I was thinking it impossible that Edward's kisses could get any more amazing than what they already were.

I found myself constantly getting out my phone from my back pocket while cooking or reading or playing my guitar, or even when in the middle of my daily phone conversations with Renee, just to gaze upon my new screensaver – the photo the woman took of Edward and I. I would look at it just to see his face, or to smile at the way he was holding me close to him or even almost as encouragement for my upcoming talk with Jacob. I'd take in the picture of us and tell myself that this was what I was doing it for. This was the reason I needed to talk to Jake. And I'd find myself suddenly just wanting to get it over with already so I could drive into school, back Edward up against his car and plant a big passionate tongue filled flaming sparks flying kiss on his lips in front of everyone and scream at the top of my lungs that we were together, that he was my boy…well, we hadn't really put labels on it yet because of the whole Jake thing but we would…hopefully…if he _wants_ me to be his girlfriend.

Not only did I desperately need to speak to Jake because of Edward, but I also needed to stop lying to my friends. Well, it wasn't lying exactly…I just wasn't telling them the truth.

I loved talking to Rose, she was one of my best friends, but if just felt weird not being able to talk to Alice about it. But Rose did love our gossip sessions in Math. Today I had told her all about how Edward had taken me to the theme park and she squealed at his thoughtfulness. I showed her the photo Edward had sent to me of the two of us and her "aww's" and other girly noises started attracting attention.

Jessica, who sat at the desk behind ours, stood and leant on her desk, trying to peer over at my phone to see what Rose was cooing about. I shoved my cell into my pocket while Rose gave the Queen-of-Gossip daggers. There was no way I was going to let Jessica Stanley know about Edward and I. The news would have reached the Quileute Reservation by lunchtime.

I got home from school and collapsed onto my bed. I'd do my homework tomorrow, I wasn't in the mood at that moment – Edward was texting me.

A little while later I heard the doorbell ring and sighed, knowing exactly who it was.

_Wish me luck – x _I texted Edward and left my phone on my bed. I couldn't have this conversation while talking to Edward at the same time. I felt guilty enough as it was.

I made my way downstairs and opened the door to find Jacob, looking a little worse for wear and he gave me a weak smile.

"Hey," he muttered walking in straight past me and headed for the living room.

"Hi," I said, following him, sitting on the other end of the couch where he had taken residence, picking up the remote and switching on the T.V.

"Could we just watch a film or something?" He asked, "I'm so tired from travelling."

"Err, sure." I sighed, though he hadn't really given me much choice.

He put on some action movie or other and whenever his eyes weren't glued to the screen they were rolling in aggravation at his phone, which kept beeping and he kept ignoring.

"You can answer the texts, Jake." I said then muttered under my breath, "It's not like we're deep in conversation or anything." I was starting to fantasise about my own phone still up on my bed, I would have brought it down had I known that this was what Jacob had planned for us today. It was a lot different to a theme park that was for sure.

His phone beeped again and he put it on silent. "Jake, seriously, answer your phone, it's annoying me now more than anything."

He shook his head with a yawn and didn't look at me, "It's just my sister." Then his eyes were back on the screen and that was the end of that conversation.

I stared at him while he started drifting off to sleep. Sister my ass. He had just spent the whole weekend with his sister, what important news could she possibly have for him that meant texting every three minutes that couldn't have been said when he had gone to see her?

Jacob was now deeply asleep judging by his snores so I grabbed the remote and changed the channel. I wasn't going to suffer through another minute of awfully fake explosions and punches and gun fights if he wasn't even awake to see it.

As I was browsing through the channels his phone lit up and buzzed against the arm of the sofa and I bit my lip. I wanted to know who was texting him. Why the hell was it so urgent? It couldn't have been if Jake was ignoring it, which meant he was ignoring it for a different reason.

I eyed his sleeping form and nudged his shin with my foot. He didn't move. "Jake?" I hissed. His snores continued.

Slowly, I leant over and shook his shoulder a little. When he didn't stir I knew he was out cold. As gently and as quietly as I could, I reached over and grabbed his cell before sitting back quickly.

I fiddled with it for a bit, debating. Was I really going to do this? Was I really going to disrespect his privacy in such a way? But I knew he was lying. If he hadn't lied to me about it that meant it was nothing I needed to be concerned about but because he lied I felt I needed to know. He lied to me so I looked at his phone.

But two wrongs don't make a right.

The phone vibrated in my hands again and it broke through my morals. I unlocked his cell and opened the first message.

Leah.

Leah Clearwater?

Leah was a girl from the Reservation, her father was friends with Billy and Charlie. They had pushed us together when we were younger but we never really hit it off. For some reason she seemed to dislike me and she wasn't somebody I particularly cared for so I wasn't going to go out of my way to _make_ her like me. I got on well with her little brother, though, Seth. He was a good kid. In fact, he was really the only one I spoke to whenever Jake and I went to La Push beach and the others were there. Seth was only fifteen, quite a bit younger than the others and to them he was just an annoying little kid who followed them around. So I spoke to him.

But why would Leah be texting Jacob? Sure they were sort of friends – she apparently had become quite bitchy after her boyfriend and cousin got together then got hitched. Couldn't say I blamed her for being upset about it but the girl was a nightmare to absolutely everyone, no matter who they were or how long she'd known them. She was bitter and took it out on everyone else. Jacob had always told me she was a pain in the neck.

A couple of texts I would have found perfectly normal. But constantly badgering him when he didn't respond – that struck me as very strange behaviour for hardly-sort-of-not-really-friends.

I read the very first text she sent.

_Such a good weekend, when can we do it again? L xx_

What? I read the next one.

_You're with Swan aren't you? Xx_

I continued reading.

_Jakey, just say your dad needs you or something and come see me. Xx_

Jakey?

_Jacob, reply to me. X_

_Jake you can't just fuck me all weekend and then go running back to her._

I gasped.

_We're made for each other. Besides, you said yourself she doesn't pay attention to you anymore since the fight with Cullen. Xx_

I didn't pay attention to him? After two years of being shrugged off and constantly rejected by him he tells her _I_ don't pay enough _attention_? And he had sex with her? He lied about not only the texts, but about going to his sisters. He hadn't even left Forks, he was round her house having sex with her.

I glanced over at Jacob who was still snoring. No wonder he was tired. Just as Leah said he had been fucking her all weekend. But as I watched him a strange numbness washed over me and I realised, I didn't care. I didn't care that he'd had sex with Leah, I didn't care because I didn't care for him. My feelings for Jake had been a little forced from the start. We were together because it seemed like that was the thing to do. Plus, our dads wanted it. I guess I'd felt something for him, but I suppose it had been nothing more than friendship.

He'd lied to me, more than once and I didn't care. Maybe it had also something to do with my complete and total hypocrisy – but I hadn't slept with Edward – not that I didn't want to.

But at least I'd planned to tell Jake about it. I was going to break it off with him because not only was it not fair on mine and Edward's relationship but it wasn't fair on Jacob. But Jacob hadn't been planning to tell me at all, Leah confirmed that – _You can't fuck me all weekend then go running back to her_ – that's exactly what Jake had planned on doing. And I think that was what irritated me (not even angered me) it irritated me more than anything else.

So, I wasn't going to tell him. I didn't care if he ended up finding out any other way. So far we were pretty even just like he had said before. He had Leah, I had Edward, he had lied, I had lied.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Screw it.

And with that, I quietly and gently placed his phone back in its original position and sat back to watch the television.

* * *

**So, who saw that coming? **

**I apologise for the shortness but I promise the next chapter is longer and I won't take as long to update it :)**

**Review!**


	10. Happy Birthday

**Here is chapter ten. Told you I would update quicker than last time, this chapter is also longer and more happens so I hope it makes up for it. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Ten  
Happy Birthday

It had been three days since I had found out about Jacob and Leah and not a lot had changed.

Jacob had woken up when Charlie arrived home and he gave me a kiss on the cheek, which I reluctantly allowed him to do, after he had looked at another text he had received and said Billy wanted him home. Liar.

I made Charlie dinner then went up to bed and texted Edward throughout the night. I told him that I hadn't told Jake about us and explained my reasoning. He understood.

In fact, he was fuming at Jacob for cheating on me despite our own relationship behind Jake's back.

"That fucking asshole," Edward had growled down the phone after he rang me – he seemed to feel that a text wouldn't convey his anger so opted for calling instead. "I'll fucking kill him the little fucker."

"Edward, calm down, it's fine." I told him, "I'm really not bothered about it."

I could hear the frown in his voice, "Bella, how the hell can you be fine with this? He fucked some other girl while he's meant to be with you."

"I don't feel anything for Jacob, that's probably why I couldn't care less. I mean, I guess the whole lying thing pissed me off a little, but aside from that," I shrugged. "Besides, what we're doing isn't exactly innocent."

I heard him sigh on the other end but he chuckled when I said in a playful warning, "Now _you_ on the other hand, _you_ cheat on me and you'll never have kids. That's a promise."

"What about a shirt or something?" Rose asked as we walked around the shops in Port Angeles on Thursday after school. I'd told Charlie I was staying at school late because I needed to use the library for the project which needed to be handed in tomorrow.

It was Edward's birthday on Saturday which was how I found myself with Rose trying to figure out what to get him. He had told me he didn't want anything but I wasn't about to just completely ignore his birthday. I wanted to get him something special, something that was really thoughtful and meant something to him. After all the wonderful things he had done for me I thought he deserved at least that much.

"No, too boring." I murmured, glancing in shop windows as we passed.

"Maybe a watch or something like that?"

I grimaced, "Too expensive. Well, a _nice_ watch would be too expensive, anyway." I wanted to get him something special but I wasn't exactly made of money.

"Does he like movies?"

"I suppose. He's more of a book person."

"So get him a book."

I shook my head, "No, that's too simple. It doesn't say that I've thought about it."

Rosalie groaned, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation, "Bella, you're being impossible. Why did you bring me along to help you if you're not going to listen to me?"

I shrugged, "Because my truck won't be ready for me until tomorrow and I didn't want to come to Port Angeles by myself." I smirked at her glare, "I'm not trying to be difficult I just…I'll know his gift when I see it."

She sighed, "Again, why did you bring me along?"

I laughed, "I thought I just told you."

She shoved me playfully and due to my clumsiness I almost crashed into the door of a music shop. I gasped, _of course_. "Let's go in here." I grabbed Rosalie's hand and dragged her inside.

I wandered around while Rose headed straight to the CDs.

I loved it when Edward played his piano, especially when he wrote his own compositions. He always played the one he wrote for me and he also played ones he had written for Katie and Esme. There was another he had written, it was a melancholy tune and it was so heart breaking and full of longing it made me cry.

"Who inspired that one?" I had asked him softly, taking in his slightly pained expression though he tried to hide it. His eyes had lost some of their light.

"Someone I never met." He had whispered quietly before shaking himself out of his thoughts and played Chopsticks for my amusement.

The light returned to his eyes but he seemed a little subdued the rest of the day and I agonised over his answer wondering what on earth he could mean.

As I browsed around the shop I came across some A4 sized large books. I picked up a beautiful leather bound one and flicked it open to find blank sheets of music and plain pages beside them for lyrics.

A man who worked in the shop came over to me, "Do you need any help?" He asked.

"Yes, how much is this?"

"That would be twenty dollars. For twenty-five we can engrave your name on the front in gold."

This was it. I'd told Rose when I saw it I'd know it. "How long would that take?"

"We could do it now and you could come back and collect it in an hour."

I nodded, "Please."

I had him engrave Music By Edward Anthony Cullen on the front of the book. Rosalie came over to where I was by the counter, paying for it when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my pocket and smiled when I saw _Bad Boy _light up the screen.

_I'll have you know I'm writing up our project. I'm only doing it because you'd probably keel over if you failed. Xx _

I giggled shaking my head, he was doing it for me. I sent a quick reply and was about to slip my phone back into my pocket when my screensaver caught my eye and another idea hit me.

I left my name with the guy at the counter and pulled Rose out of the shop, dialling Edward's home number and thanking god it was his mother who picked up and not him.

"Esme, I need your help."

It was Friday evening. The last night of my punishment and I was ecstatic. This meant that I could see Edward tomorrow for his birthday and Charlie could do nothing about it. Not that I would tell him I was going to see Edward, of course, but he couldn't stop me if I said I was going to see _friends. _Edward was a friend…sort of. His sister thought of me as her friend anyway. Edward loved how she called me "her best friend Bewwa"!

And not only was it the last night of my grounding but I also had my truck back which meant I didn't have to rely on others for lifts meaning it would be much easier to go and see Edward without him having to come and pick my up just to drive back home again.

Charlie and I had just finished eating dinner when the phone rang. "I'll get it." I told Charlie. As if he'd move away from the television when there was a game on, anyway.

"Hello?" I greeted.

A throat cleared on the other end of the line and the voice that reached my ears shocked me beyond belief. "Bella? This is Carlisle Cullen, Edward's father."

"Oh…um, hi…what can I do for you?" I stuttered.

"Bella I would like to invite you over to our house tomorrow morning for Edward's birthday." Wow. Well, this was a complete one eighty. The last time he had spoken to me he was warning me to stay away from his son and now he was inviting me over to _spend more time_ with him.

"But…Edward told me that birthday mornings are a family thing?" This was true. Edward asked to see me later on in the day and had said that the mornings of birthdays were spent with family. It was a tradition.

"Well…you're practically family now aren't you?" At my stunned silence he said, "I'm sure it would make Edward happy."

"I, well, of course. Yes, I'll come over."

"Good. Thank you. I shall see you tomorrow. Good evening, Bella."

I was hardly able to utter a goodbye before he hung up. Now if that wasn't the weirdest phone conversation of my life then I didn't know what was.

Seeing as Carlisle was the one to call me and not Edward himself I assumed I was meant to be a surprise, so during our nightly text messaging conversations – which always turned into late night phone calls – I didn't mention to Edward that I would be round his house that very morning. Not even when he said he couldn't wait to see me, though I did blush and my heart did soar at his words.

I fell asleep that night with a happy smile on my face, a frequent occurrence due to Edward's presence in my life.

Saturday morning I skipped out the door with Edward's present in my hand calling over my shoulder to Charlie that I was going to Alice's. He didn't question it only improving my good mood despite the early hour.

Instead of knocking on Edward's front door I read a note that was placed by the doorbell that said _Bella, door's open._ I smiled and tiptoed inside. I heard voices coming from the kitchen so headed in that direction.

Edward had his back to the door, sitting on one of stools at the breakfast bar while he laughed and watched as Katie tried to convince Esme to let her have a slice of early birthday cake. Carlisle was no where to be seen. I laughed as she tried to use her puppy dog eyes and pout that Edward had taught her and he spun round on the stool to see me stood in the doorway.

A smile brightened up his face as he stood to greet me, his arms wrapping around me as he spun me round, his forehead pressed to mine.

"Happy birthday," I giggled, kissing him softly.

I felt him smile into the kiss, "Thank you baby." He set me down on my feet and took my face gently in his hands, brushing his nose sweetly against mine. "This is a nice surprise."

I shrugged and watched him closely as I murmured, "Your dad invited me."

Edward's eyes widened, "He did?"

I nodded with a smile, hoping that this was Carlisle's way of trying to fix whatever was wrong with his and Edward's relationship. I hoped he would continue to do so until it was repaired because I hated the look that Edward got in his eye when his dad was around. It was so pained and hurt though he tried to hide it as best he could and it quickly disappeared when he quickly threw up his walls in defence. The walls became harder and stronger when he watched Carlisle interact with Katie. I knew Edward would never begrudge his little sister anything but I could see the hurt in his eyes when this would happen and he would retreat to his piano.

"Bewwa!" A little voice cried and Katie came rushing over to me, shoving Edward out of the way as best she could and wrapped her arms around my legs.

"Hey there, pretty girl," I laughed, lifting her into my arms. "Managed to get a piece of that birthday cake yet?"

She huffed, "No."

Edward chuckled and ruffled her hair, pulling her out of my arms and throwing her playfully in the air.

"Eddie!" She squealed, "What dat for?"

Edward laughed, "Bella's _my_ friend and it's _my_ birthday meaning _I_ want to play with her and you can't hog her today." He put her down and wrapped his arms around me again as she stuck her tongue out of him.

Esme rolled her eyes at her children though a grin lit up her face, "Alright, that's enough. I'm sure Bella would like a break from the pair of you fighting to win her attention. Would you like anything to drink, Bella, dear?" She asked as Edward pulled me gently by my hand to sit down next to him and pulled my stool closer to his.

I laughed at his actions, "Hmm, a cup of coffee would be much appreciated, I wasn't planning on getting up so early." It was a Saturday after all and I had thought I'd be seeing Edward a lot later than this before I received Carlisle's call.

Edward kissed my cheek, "Wasn't it worth getting up early to see me on my birthday? The best day of the year, the anniversary of my birth." He grinned cockily.

"Haha, maybe I should answer that once I've drunk my coffee." I patted his cheek and Esme laughed.

We all sat for a while just talking and laughing at Edward's expense. Esme was telling us some very amusing stories of Edward and his younger years when she stood, "I'm going to see where your father's got to and we can open some presents."

She left the room as Katie squealed, "Presents! I open dem, too?"

Edward laughed, "You want to open my birthday presents?"

"Uh-huh." She nodded, seeing nothing wrong with her idea.

I pressed a kiss to Edward's cheek, "I'm just going to the bathroom."

I passed the study as I made my way to the bathroom and couldn't help but hear the raised voices and notice the suitcase by the door as I approached. I was about to rush to the bathroom, not wanting to be rude but what was being said had caught my attention and I couldn't help myself.

"-Carlisle, it's his birthday," Esme was saying.

Carlisle sighed, "Esme, there's nothing I can d-"

"Nothing you can do?" She interrupted, "I'll give you something to do. Just for once, could you put your son first? Your relationship with Edward is strained enough as it is. You're never there for him, Carlisle." There was a pause before she snapped, "Don't look at me like that, you know it's the truth. I really thought this year was going to be different, I really thought you were making an effort to improve your relationship with your son. But no, I thought wrong, once again. Because every time I think you're moving forward you go running back to your job."

There was another pause and I heard some movement before she continued, her voice rising and becoming angrier with every word, "If anything I should be the one angry with Edward, but I never was, Carlisle. Not for a second. It was _you_ who blamed him for the accident and ever since then you've hardly even looked at him."

Carlisle went to say something but again Esme stopped him, "Don't try to defend yourself Carlisle and don't you dare try to deny it. You don't look at him, you hardly talk to him and when you do it's to criticise or complain." I could hear the tears in her voice, "The only ever time he becomes himself again, in this house, is when he's with Katie. But you take that away from him. You pull her out of his arms and away from him as though he's going to hurt her. And he sees it, Carlisle, he knows you're trying to protect her from him. The look in his eyes when he sees you playing with her and talking to her-"

She broke off and took a deep breath as though trying to regain her composure. When she spoke again it was softer and calmer but there was fury underlying her words that was directed at Carlisle and she sounded almost deadly.

"You know, one of these days you're going to come to your senses and it's going to be too late because Edward won't want to know. He won't want anything to do with you after everything you've put him through. And to be brutally honest, Carlisle, I wouldn't blame him."

I heard footsteps and I rushed into the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind me so I wouldn't get caught.

I was in shock. Complete and total shock. I knew Edward's relationship with his dad wasn't perfect but I had thought it was the typical teenager vs. parents thing and was due to Edward's rebellious behaviour. I hadn't thought that Carlisle might have been the reason _for_ Edward's hard and cold, let-no-one-in exterior.

It seemed that this accident, whatever it was, and Carlisle's blaming Edward for it was the reason Esme had been missing her son all this time.

I sighed, shaking my head. I would think about all this later. Right now was more important as was Edward's sure to be disappointment at Carlisle leaving on his birthday. He was sure to be disappointed, especially after having thought Carlisle had done such a nice thing for him as to invite me over on what was meant to be the traditional family time. Though it sounded as though that tradition hadn't been kept up for a while – for Edward's birthday at least. Then I had a sinking suspicion, due to Esme's words, that I could have been right. That Carlisle _was_ there for birthdays, for Esme's and Katie's, just not for Edward's.

I made my way back downstairs to find Edward and Katie in the living room waiting for the rest of us. Katie was sprawled out on the couch, giggling at something Edward had said from his position in the armchair.

He smiled happily at me as I stood by the doorway and I tried to smile back. It was very weak and probably came off more as a grimace than a smile. But I just felt sick to my stomach at what I knew was to come.

Esme and Carlisle followed me in, Esme stood behind the couch glaring at her husband who had his hands buried in his pockets and was looking at the floor.

"Edward," Esme said, "Your father has something he wants to say to you."

Edward looked to his dad and his smile turned to a look of confusion, "Dad?" The word sounded strange coming from Edward's mouth, much like the first time he had apologised to me.

"I, err," Carlisle cleared his throat, "Dr. Langbridge paged me."

I watched as Edward's eyes travelled to the suitcase that Carlisle had placed down by his own feet then back up to his father. His face suddenly cleared off all emotion, I watched as the walls came up around him and he didn't even look disappointed. He was calm. I didn't like that at all.

"You've got to go to Seattle." It wasn't a question, just a statement. His voice was smooth and portrayed not even a hint of anger.

Carlisle nodded, "I'm sorry." He said gruffly but there was no sincerity at all. It was almost forced, like Esme had told him to say it.

"Don't be," Edward muttered, "I can't say I'm surprised."

I gasped, Edward _was_ disappointed, I could just about make out the pain in his eyes but his face was smooth and calm and patient. He wasn't angry though because he had expected it, and that was a thousand times worse.

Edward glanced over at me when I gasped and understanding washed over his features and the first hint of anger shone through his calmness but he reigned it in. "That's why you invited Bella, wasn't it? To soften me up."

It was Esme's turn to gasp as she stared at her husband in shock. Carlisle said nothing and Edward turned his attention to the television that Katie had turned on in the background but her eyes were on Edward and she had a small, sad frown on her face, like she didn't know what was going on but knew for whatever reason that her big brother was upset.

Carlisle looked at his watch as though this conversation was boring him. I silently cursed him. "I have to go," he said picking up his suitcase, "I'll be back in a couple of days." He said to Esme, she ignored him, before he turned to Edward again and he said shortly, "Have a, err, nice birthday." Then he was gone.

Edward sighed heavily, his attention still fixed on the television, when Katie hopped off the sofa and moved to climb onto Edward's lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek before snuggling into his chest. Looked like she could see through her brother's shield as well as I could.

Esme kissed the top of Edward's head, caressing his face as she passed into the kitchen.

I slowly made my way over to the siblings to sit on the arm of the chair. I squeezed his shoulder, brushing my finger along his jaw line and he looked up at me with a small smile. I kissed him tenderly and he pulled me tighter to him with the one arm he had wrapped around my waist. I rested my forehead against his.

"You okay?" I whispered.

He nodded, his eyes shut, just relishing in our closeness.

"Eww," Katie giggled, pulling us apart, "Stop be all kissy."

We couldn't help but grin and I was pleased to see some light return to Edward's dull eyes but there was something behind them that just didn't return.

"Can we open presents now?" Katie asked bashing her eyelids. She was going to be a little heartbreaker that was for sure.

Edward nodded and she skipped off singing, "Momma, we would wike the presents now!"

Edward pulled me into his lap and buried his face in my neck, "Can we go to the meadow later?" He breathed.

I nodded, pulling him closer and holding him tight, "Yeah, we haven't been there in a while."

He looked up, giving me a kiss when Esme and Katie came back in, carrying a pile of presents and cards.

Edward opened them all with the help of Katie, of course, and she demanded where my one was.

Esme scolded her but I shook my head with a smile, "It's in my truck."

"Can you get it pwease?"

Esme said, "Bella's going to give it to Edward later." Then she distracted her completely, "How about we have some lunch and then we can have some cake?"

Katie jumped up with a squeal, clapping her hands.

After dinner and of course, after the cake, we wouldn't have heard the end of it from Katie if we didn't, Edward and I went to the meadow.

He was quiet the entire way there and held my hand in his free one as he drove. He was subdued until we reached the meadow.

"Do you want your present?" I asked, biting my lip. I was nervous, not sure if he would like it.

He nodded with a smile as he pulled me down onto the blanket we had brought with us. I pulled on his hoodie, I had stole after he had lent it to me at the theme park, it was getting a little chilly.

Okay, so I was stalling, I was just really nervous.

I handed it over to him and he took it with a smile, tearing at the wrapping paper to find the leather bound book with his name engraved on the front. "Open it." I murmured. He did as I asked and gasped. On the opposite side of the cover of the book I had made a collage of pictures. They included the ones of us when we went to the theme park, some of him with his parents at a much younger age – whatever had gone on between him and Carlisle must not have happened yet because they were both beaming at the camera, happily. There were many photos of Edward with Katie, beautiful sweet ones that took my breath away.

"Esme helped me." I muttered nervously when he didn't say anything.

He was running his hand over the note I had written on the first blank page of the book.

_Edward,_

_Happy Birthday! _

_I hope you like this, I just wanted you to have a place to keep your most beautiful pieces of music. I love to hear you play and sing and thought you should write down your cherished pieces and songs that I love so much. _

_All my love,_

_Forever Yours_

_Bella_

Yeah, I had indirectly basically told him I loved him and that I was his forever if he wanted me. I swallowed thickly as he traced the words silently, an intense expression on his face.

"If you don't like it I can take it back," I shook my head of course I couldn't, not only did it have his name engraved on it but it had photos stuck in the front and a message from me, "Well, I can't take it back but you don't have to keep it. It's a stupid present, you don't have to write your songs and stuff in it if you don't want to I mean-"

He captured my lips in a kiss that was tender and full of fierce desperation. Desperation for what I didn't know but when he reluctantly pulled back I could see how vulnerable he was and I didn't know why.

"Silly girl," he murmured with a small smile, "I love it. Thank you. It's the best gift I've ever been given."

I frowned, "Then what's the matter?"

"Bella," he whispered, his eyes pained, with his frowning brow and mouth. He shook his head, tracing over the words again.

"I do," I breathed watching his hand, he looked up in question and I murmured, "I do lo-"

He shook his head furiously, "No Bella, you don't, you can't."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked away the traitorous tears, I looked away.

"Oh god, Bella, no, I didn't mean…I lo-I feel the same way about you but," he shook his head pulling at his hair, "You shouldn't…feel that for me, Bella. I'm not good for you. You don't know what I'm capable of." He continued to shake his head, biting his lip and I became angry.

His words reminded me of Carlisle's warning and I hated that Edward thought this of himself too. It felt like he was letting Carlisle win and I wouldn't let him do that after I had fought for him.

"No Edward." I said furiously, the anger evident in my voice, Edward tensed, "I'm not going to let you do this I'm not going to let you put up those fucking walls again so you can shut me out. I'm not going to let you do it."

"There are things you don't know about me, Bella. Bad things. I'm not a good person." He whispered into his knees.

I moved so I was sat between his legs and pulled his hands away from his face, holding them tight in one hand and caressed his face with the other. I was shocked to find his cheek wet and when he looked up his eyes were full of such agony my chest hurt.

"Edward," I gasped leaning forward so my forehead was pressed to his, trying to comfort him in any way I could. I knew this was it, I was about to find out why he let nobody in. "Talk to me," I breathed.

He bit his lip closing his eyes tight as though praying this wasn't happening. When he opened them they were truly _open_, I'd never seen them in such a way before. He was letting me in, opening himself up to me, making himself completely vulnerable. He looked scared.

"I don't want to lose you." His hand gripped mine tightly, his eyes desperate and terrified.

"You won't lose me, please," I shook my head, "Please Edward, let me help you. Tell me."

He shook his head, "Don't make promises you can't keep. When I tell you, you won't want anything to do with me and I can't blame you. I hate myself too. But I'm selfish, I can't stand the thought of losing you even if letting you go is the right thing to do."

His eyes closed again. "Edward?"

He took a deep breath before looking up at me with a gaze that shattered my heart. This could not be good.

"Bella," he whispered. "I killed my little brother."

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuun! :D I know, talk about a cliffhanger, right?**

**Now who saw _that_ coming?_  
_**

**Loved it? Hated it? Review!**


	11. Crumbling Walls

**Wow! The response to the last chapter was amazing and due to the reviews and my feeling guilty over the cliffhanger I decided to update ASAP. Couldn't leave you hanging. Here's chapter eleven. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven  
Crumbling Walls

My heart was pounding harder against my chest than it had ever done before yet I felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was suffocating. I felt like crying and laughing at the same time, hoping that this was some sort of sick joke – which was better than the alternative, being that it was true.

I backed away a little from Edward as he stared at me with eyes full of desperation and agony that I could understand now. He was scared he was going to lose me and honestly, if he didn't start explaining soon then that may just happen.

I thought I was going to be sick, I thought I was going to pass out I thought…I didn't know what to think. I was praying to god that this wasn't true. I had never wanted to be lied to so bad, I wished he was lying to me, I wished with all my might that Edward was lying and that this wasn't true.

All the while I sat there frozen, staring into his jade green eyes that I had been so in love with not two seconds ago, now I just wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

I tried to open my mouth to speak but no words came out, no noise, no sound, nothing. I tried again and again to get my vocal chords to work but nothing was happening, all the while Edward watched my struggle with tears falling from his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so, so sorry."

I shook my head, tears blurring my vision, "You…I," I swallowed thickly, "Explain. Now." That was the best I could do. Despite the five little words that held so much significance and had the power to destroy everything, there was still a part of me that couldn't seem to let go of the idea that Edward could never be capable of such a thing. The huge part of me – who was I kidding? I loved him with every single part of me – still couldn't comprehend that Edward, _my_ Edward, could ever hurt anyone this way. That side of me was grasping at straws and recalled Esme's words of an accident.

Edward watched me warily through his tears before taking a deep, shaking breath. "Esme got pregnant again a little while after she had Katie." He murmured, his voice, throaty and pain filled was barely above a whisper, as though raising his voice to normal volume would have me running as fast as I could in the opposite direction. But as much as the rational side of me – my brain – was telling me to do just that, to get away from this person who I had thought I had known, this liar, this…murderer. My heart and much less rational side was telling me to listen to him, was telling me that he couldn't have done such a thing, that he wasn't a murderer.

I shuddered. No. Edward was _not_ a murderer. He couldn't be, he just _couldn't_ be. My pounding heart had me frozen to the spot, willing to hear him out.

"I'd just got my driver's licence and Carlisle had bought me a car." He clasped his hands together in front of him to stop them trembling, "Well, Carlisle was away at some doctor's conference thing in Seattle and Katie was being babysat because Mom had been having some trouble with the pregnancy and was on bed rest." He cleared his throat, trying to stop his voice from breaking. "I got home from school and…there was something wrong," he shook his head, a frown on his face and a far off look in his eyes. I knew, that even though he was staring at me that it wasn't me he was seeing, he was remembering. "She kept saying something about pains and the hospital and dad and she was crying…she wouldn't stop crying. The look on her face, Bella, she was so scared." He wiped at his eyes before continuing. "She asked me to drive her to the hospital so I helped her into the back of my car. I was so scared, Bella, she had gone into labour too early, the doctors said…" he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I just wanted to get her there quickly. I was driving way too fast. I was too distracted, I was trying to drive and keep her calm at the same time I just…I didn't see the fucking thing until it was too late."

He stopped, rubbing his face with his hands while I watched him, in way too much shock to speak.

"It was a fucking deer or something." He muttered, "I was going way too fast, I couldn't stop in time so I tried to swerve but…" His hands tugged at his hair harshly as though trying to hurt himself in some way. "The car completely flipped over. Next thing I know I'm in a hospital bed. I had a broken arm but apart from that there was nothing wrong with me," he gave a bitter humourless laugh, "I got off lightly. The same couldn't be said for mom. They let me go, they didn't need to keep me over night so I went to find her. Carlisle was there. He was in the room with her and she was wired up to machines she was all bruised and busted up. His face." He breathed, biting his lip to keep in his cries, "The look in his eyes. He said…he said, _"You did this to her, this is your fault. You hurt your mother and you killed your unborn brother."_ Then he was screaming at me, calling me a murderer. I didn't even know he was dead until Carlisle had said that."

Edward had tears streaming down his face, as did I, my hand covered my mouth in horror.

"He hit me. Said he never wanted to see me again." He seemed to come out of his memories and the trance like state he was in because he looked at me, I mean really looked at me and the pain etched onto his face was unbearable. "I apologised. So many times. Not that I thought he should forgive me, I don't deserve that. He hated me, still does, and I don't blame him." His voice trembled as the sobs threatened to escape, "I would do anything to take it all back, Bella. I'd do anything to go back to that day and change it. I never meant for it to happen I was just so scared for her. I just…I thought…I," his breath was coming in frantic gasps as his agony filled eyes pleaded with me, "I d-don't expect you to want anything to do with me, Carlisle doesn't, I couldn't a-ask you to forget that I'm a murderer but…but I…I love you, Bella, so much and I…I'm so scared. P-please don't hate me. Please, please. Please."

He broke. It was all too much and he broke, the sobs engulfed him and the tears streamed down his heartbroken face as he pleaded with me.

"Edward," I gasped pulling him to me. I wrapped my arms around him holding him close and his locked around me in a death grip; absolutely terrified he would lose me. He buried his face in my neck and cried.

I rocked him gently, running my fingers through his hair. His tears hit me like bullets, my heart physically ached, a lump formed in my throat and I cried my own tears for him. For Esme. For his baby brother. I cried for the man I loved with all my pained heart.

But that wasn't right. It wasn't my heart, not anymore. It was his. It belonged to Edward. I knew this now with the utmost certainty because I realised from the pain in my chest that it wasn't my own ache, it was Edward's. The epiphany hit me at full force that my heart had never been beating for me, it had always been beating for Edward and now that I recognised that fact it seemed to be pounding harder in my chest as though trying to escape and climb into the shuddering body in my arms that it belonged to.

Through the pain, tears and revelation I heard Edward whispering in shuddering sobs and I clutched him tighter to me when his words reached my ears.

"Please don't leave me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. Please, oh god, please don't take her away from me."

"Edward," my voice broke and I had to take a deep breath. I felt Edward tense and I knew he was thinking the worst was to come. I tried to pull away a little to see his face but he sobbed and clutched me tighter. I wouldn't stand for it, I needed to see him. I pulled back, his arms still keeping me as close as possible as I took his tear stained face in my hands, my own so close to his our noses brushed together and his tears mixed with mine. "Edward, listen to me, okay? What happened to Esme, it wasn't your fault and I never, never want to hear you say that it is ever again." My voice shook with both tears and fierce determination. "I love you. I love you so much and I'm not going anywhere Do you understand? Are you hearing me? I love you." I kissed his wet lips, "I love you, you did nothing wrong, you were scared for your mom, what happened was an accident and you have no idea how brave you are for telling me."

His shoulders shook with sobs of both relief and hurt as he pulled me back to him, wrapping his arms around me so tightly it was almost painful but I wouldn't have had it any other way. "Bella," he gasped, "I...I'm…I was so scared, I..."

"Shhh," I soothed, "It's okay, I'm here."

I don't know how long we sat there, clinging to each other as though our lives depended on it, but soon we had both calmed down. Our eyes dried as though we had completely run out of tears and despite the redness of them and the stained tear tracks down our cheeks we both knew immediately something had changed between us.

Edward had completely opened himself up to me like he had to no one else before and shared with me his deepest darkest secret. He had told me he loved and I him and though he hadn't told me, I knew he had shared the same revelation as I. I knew that we were both now aware of the new meaning to our beating hearts and as we parted, and our eyes locked and the shooting sparks between us heightened, I knew there was no going back. This was it. This was really going to happen. We had passed the point of no return.

He communicated to me with his piercing green eyes that he knew what I was thinking, that he felt it too and that no words were needed. Our actions would tell the other all they needed to know.

He moved his face closer to mine and when our lips touched I felt as though my heart had burst out of my chest and right into his. His tongue moulded to my own and it felt like a whole new experience, like we had never done this before – which in some ways was correct, we had never shared a kiss such as this one.

My fingers ran through his hair as one of his own caressed my cheek while the other pressed against the small of my back, pulling me tighter to him so there was not even a hint of air separating us.

I pulled my lips from his, reluctantly; to gasp for some much needed air and he moved his open mouthed kisses to my neck. My hands slid down his and grasped at the collar of jacket, sliding it off his shoulders and down his arms. He complied with my silent wish and helped me remove the jacket before returning his hands to my body, not willing to be parted from me for a second. His mouth crashed back to mine and I moaned into the kiss as his hand kneaded my breast through his hoodie and my shirt and bra.

I frowned a little with the frustration of the layers of clothing separating the warmth of the skin of his hand from my own skin, which was buzzing like a live wire, desperate for the feel of his touch. As though reading my mind he moved to the hem of the hoodie and shirt and slowly lifted them, much like he had done in the locker room of Thorpe Park, trailing his hands over my stomach, over my breasts and I lifted my arms for him to move the clothes over my head.

As soon as he could see my face again his teeth were nibbling at my bottom lip as I threw the offending items of clothing behind me somewhere. He soothed my lip with his warm, wet tongue before thrusting it into my mouth to battle sensually with my own.

Once I could feel the smooth skin of his hands all over my torso I was instantly craving more. With feverish fingers I hurried to unbutton his shirt, which was taking longer than I was patient for so Edward quickly moved to help me, feeling as desperate as I was.

My hands ran reverently over his chest and abs and shoulders and back, I grazed my fingernails over his nipples and he hissed, the sound sending tingles shooting straight to my core. I felt his hands on the clasp of my bra and he paused, looking deep into my eyes, asking permission. I moved to kiss his neck, licking and sucking in answer. He groaned and with a snap of his fingers I felt the bra loosen.

His fingertips trailed down my shoulders and arms as he slipped the straps from my body. Edward pulled away a little to look at me and an emotion filled his eyes that made me want to smile and cry at the same time.

"Beautiful," I heard him whisper under his breath.

I moved so I was straddling his legs, placing myself in his lap as his forehead pressed to mine. He wrapped his arms around me, I threw my arms around his neck and my breasts pressed against his chest our bodies flush against one another. We both let out sounds of satisfaction and relief. I could finally feel his skin completely against mine and it was better than I could have imagined.

His kissed my temple before grazing his teeth against my ear lobe, which made me shudder and whimper. I wriggled my hips as wetness dampened my panties and my core brushed against his hardness which only succeeded in making the apex between my thighs ache more and made me grind against him involuntarily.

He gasped out a groan as his mouth crashed back to mine, his hands moving to my hips to guide me in rubbing against his jean covered erection, which, judging by the throbbing, was aching as much as I was.

"Edward," I gasped breathlessly, between kisses, as his hands ran up and down my thighs, "Please."

He knew exactly what I wanted as I bucked my hips. He maneuvered us, without losing our closeness, so I was laying beneath him on the blanket, him above me between my legs.

Edward's hand caressed my face as he kissed me softly before slowly trailing down my neck to my breasts. His fingertips circled one nipple and his mouth followed the movements of his hand – kissing down my neck and chest where he then circled my nipple with his tongue making me gasp out when he sucked it into his mouth.

I gasped underneath him, clutching his hair in my hands, tugging on it the way I knew he liked, before he moved to my other breast to repeat the same actions. Then his hand began to trail lower and lower over my stomach before reaching the hem of my shorts. He unbuttoned them, pulling them down my legs and I kicked them off with my feet.

Again, his mouth followed his hands, kissing down my stomach while his fingers played me like a piano, rubbing and stroking against my pantie clad core. His nose brushed along the length of my panties, back and forth and the feeling of his warm breath rushing over me made me even wetter than I was. He felt it through my panties and against his hand and he smiled.

Edward looked up at me then, his hands hooked under my panties. I nodded and he kissed my belly button before pulling them down my legs. I gasped as the air hit me and heard Edward's sharp intake of breath as well.

I looked up to see him gazing with me with an adoring look in his eyes, "You're perfect, Bella."

Heat flushed my cheeks as his fingers ran from my wet core, parting my folds and brushed over my clit. "Oh," I gasped and my hips jerked against my will.

"Bella," he breathed, "Your pussy's so wet baby."

Fuck! I never thought I would have such a reaction to the word but coming from Edward mouth with his husky voice made me shiver and ache and wriggle my hips.

I felt Edward trail kissed up my leg, nipping and sucking at my thigh as I shook in anticipation as he got closer and closer to where I needed him the most. I felt his warm breath rush over me when his tongue pressed against me and licked from my core to my clit.

"Aah!" I cried out, "Oh…oh god!" I gasped breathlessly. I had never felt anything like it in my life.

Edward lifted his head looking up at me in concern, "Bella?" He asked.

"Don't stop!" I cried, "Please, oh, please don't stop."

I let my head fall back onto the blanket with a moan as he complied. He explored me with his tongue and the sensations were amazing. I whimpered and gasped and moaned as he licked and sucked and kissed. Then, just as the pleasure was almost becoming too much his fingers entered me and rubbed against the sweet spot inside of me while his tongue flickered again and again, over and over my clit until I screamed out his name, gasping as I burst into ecstasy. I writhed, clutching onto his hair as he gently brought me down from my high until I lay in what felt like a boneless, relaxed and utterly content pile of happiness.

"Edward," I gasped breathlessly, reaching blindly for him, feeling too weak to even open my eyes.

"I'm here," he murmured taking my hand. I felt him move beside me and opened my eyes to find his gazing down at me. "You okay?" He breathed, pressing sweet kisses all over my face.

"Okay?" I gasped, "Okay doesn't even come close to how I'm feeling right now. Edward, that was fucking amazing!" He chuckled.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him with all that I had. I rolled so I was straddling him and he was under me and made to unbutton his jeans to find he had already taken them off. Huh, when had that happened? I shrugged, never one to complain when a half naked Edward was involved, and slid his boxers off the find him in all his glory.

I kissed him again, slowly this time as I trailed my hand down his torso, much like he had done to me, nipping at his nipple and making him groan when I took his straining manhood in my hand, softly running my fingers over it. I rested my head on his chest as I watched what I was doing to him, enraptured by his expressions of bliss that almost looked bordering on pain and I would have thought so if I hadn't known better.

His eyes were squinted shut, his brows furrowed his mouth parted as he gasped and groaned and panted for breath as I caressed him. I tightened my hand a little, becoming more confident.

"Ugh!" He groaned as I palmed his head, thumbing the slit. His hips bucked and he grabbed my wrist, "Baby, you gotta stop." He gasped, "I won't last."

I stilled my hand and he breathed deeply for a moment before flipping us over he was above me once again. I grabbed his face in my hands, pulling his lips down to mine and after several minutes of passionate kissing and heavy petting I couldn't take anymore.

"Please, Edward, I need you." I breathed, gasping into his mouth.

He pulled away reluctantly between kisses, "Bella, are you sure? We can do this another time, it doesn't have to be now. If I'd known what we would be doing I would have made it more special, I mean, we're outside and-"

I covered his mouth with my hand, "Edward, this is perfect, please, I want this more than anything. I'm ready."

His eyes bored into mine looking for something, he must have found what he was searching for because he nodded and connected my mouth with his again as he reached down to guide himself.

I tensed a little as he began to push inside and he froze, watching me carefully. My heart was pounding though it wasn't because this wasn't something I didn't want, not because I had any petty worries about not being good enough for him – I had suddenly been struck with the realisation that this was going to hurt. I had completely forgotten about that part having been focused on how good everything else had felt but now that it seemed so blatantly obvious I panicked.

"Bella," Edward murmured softly, brushing my hair back from my face with his hand, "It will be okay." His voice was barely above a whisper and soothed me. Looking into his loving, adoring eyes and the sincerity in his voice made me lose all the anxiety as quickly as it had come. I was with Edward, he loved me. It would be okay. It would be perfect.

Before he started to move again he took my hand in his, intertwining them and leant his forehead to mine after pressing a light kiss to my lips. He slowly and gently eased himself into me, pausing every now and then for me to catch my breath and get used to him.

Then he came to the barrier, which I knew would hurt when he passed through, "Ready?" He asked softly, his voice slightly strained.

I nodded, my breath coming rapidly.

"Squeeze my hand if you need to, baby." He said sweetly, "I'll be as gentle as I can." The tenderness with which he spoke and gazed upon me took my breath away, my heart soared and I knew I was ready.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you back," Edward smiled making me grin. I buried my face in his neck, gripping his hand with one hand, the other arm wrapped around his neck clutching his shoulder.

"Quick." I breathed.

He knew what I meant. It was like pulling off a band aid. He thrust in and I gasped, biting my lip, my eyes squinted shut as I squeezed his hand tightly, my gasping breaths making me shudder.

He stilled, not moving in fear of causing me more pain and pressed kisses to me wherever he could reach, my temple, my hair, my cheek, my neck as he murmured soothing words in my ear.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby. I'm sorry I hurt you. I love you so much, it's okay. It's okay."

I took deep breaths, just listening to his words and the sound of his voice before I murmured, "Move."

Edward looked at me, worry in his eyes. But the pain was quickly disappearing and the feel of him inside me was overwhelming and I needed him to move. I had never felt so connected with anyone, ever, and with our chests pressed tightly together I could feel his heartbeat pounding against my own as though they were one. As though they had been combined together after being torn apart having once been whole before.

Edward was my other half. I knew that now more than ever. I loved him and I needed to show him in this way.

"Please, Edward, move. I need you, I need this…us…"

He seemed to understand and feel what I had tried to communicate, albeit poorly, as he started to move within me. Pulling himself away so he almost left me before moving back in and hit my deepest point.

"Oh god," I gasped breathlessly, clutching at him, never wanting this to end.

"Bella," Edward breathed, "Oh…shit, baby, so good. You feel so good, Bella. Perfect."

"Faster," I panted, "Please…aahh, faster, harder, oh…fuck, Edward, baby…harder."

He sped up his movements and he brushed my walls long and hard making me cry out with pleasure. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pushing him further into me and we both groaned as he thrust into me at this new angle.

"So tight, Bella, so good," he moaned. My hips met his thrust for thrust and he brushed against the sweet spot.

"Aah! There, right there." I whimpered.

"Right there, baby?" He hit the spot again and I arched as he kissed my neck. My walls clenched around him and he cried out, "Fuck, baby! Nnnugghhh, shit." When he spoke again his voice was strained and his thrusts became more frantic and erratic, "Are you close Bella?"

"So close!" I gasped when he reached down to rub my clit as well.

"Get there, baby, please…I, fuck."

"Edward…Edward…ahh, I'm…aaahhh!" Pleasure shot through me stronger than ever before and I heard Edward roar out his own and he came with me, his face buried in my neck.

We both came down from out high, gasping for air, trembling in each others arms as we basked in the after phase of sleepy and content satisfaction.

After a few minutes of what was both blissfully shocked silence and zero energy to move, Edward looked up from my neck with a lazy smile, his eyes bright and happy.

"You okay?" He asked.

I chuckled breathlessly, "What is it with you? Can't think of any other adjective? I'm freaking perfect."

He beamed, "Yes, you are."

I rolled my eyes, "You know what I meant."

He nodded with a smile and moved so he laid next to me, his head propped up on his hand, the other tracing over my lips. His eyes turned serious though he didn't lose his smile. "I love you, Swan."

I knew then that his walls wouldn't be returning. Not with me around, anyway.

"I love you back, Cullen." I whispered and he leant down to press a sweet kiss to my lips.

* * *

**I know I usually warn you before hand about the reason why its M rated but I felt it would give too much away for what was to come of this chapter, so, sorry about that.**

**I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it will be up soon and you won't have too long to wait. **

**Don't we all feel bad for Edward? Feel like crying for him :(**

**Review!**


	12. We Need To Talk

**Again, the response to the last chapter was really great, I'm glad you all enjoyed it! Here's chapter twelve. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Twelve  
We Need To Talk

We laid in the meadow on the blanket for hours, simply talking softly to one another, or just holding one another, not yet ready to go back to the real world. Back to reality, back to a place where there was Charlie and Carlisle and Jacob. It was like we were cocooned in our own little bubble that no one could penetrate. And inside the bubble, though no one from the outside could get in, it seemed safer to talk about them there than out in the real world.

I was thinking of everything Edward had told me and I was piecing together the puzzle in my head and suddenly there were many things that I had not understood before that made sense now.

"That's why Carlisle took Katie away from you that day, wasn't it?" I whispered softly, having been in the quiet so long I didn't want to disrupt it. Nor did I want to anger or upset Edward.

He wasn't angry, he knew I was just putting things together and working it all out in my head. And I think he was just beyond grateful that I hadn't left him. Silly boy.

"Yeah," he murmured softly, "He does it a lot and most of the time I don't think he even realises he's doing it." He frowned. "I think that's what kills me about it the most. It's like a natural thing he does without thinking, his natural instinct is to protect her from me."

I did not like the unhappy frown on his face and I wasn't going to let it stay there. He shouldn't be unhappy when it was just us. "You're an amazing big brother, you know that, right? Katie absolutely adores you. You know, if she hadn't taken to me I think that could have been it for me and you. The entire time I was round your house the first time I met her I felt like she was checking me out, making sure I was good enough for her big brother."

He smiled a little but the haunted look didn't leave his eyes and I knew what I had to do. "You…you don't think Esme blames you, do you?"

He bit his lip and shrugged not looking at me, which I took as a yes.

"She doesn't." I said.

He glanced at me, shocked by the way I spoke with such conviction.

I sighed, "I overheard her and Carlisle talking earlier. She said if anyone was to blame you it should have been her but she never did. Not even for a second."

I watched as a little of the haunted look left his eyes and hope shone in them. "Really?" He breathed, raising himself up to lean back on his hands, "She said that?"

I nodded with a small smile.

He gazed at me with a look I couldn't figure out when suddenly he pulled me into a close and tight embrace burying his face in my hair. "Thank you," he whispered.

"What for?" I asked, hugging him back.

"You always know what I need to hear. I love you for it."

I smiled as he leaned down to kiss me and we got a little carried away for a few minutes. I didn't mind…whatever it took to make Edward happy.

Ha! Yeah, like that was the _only_ reasoning. Nothing to do with the fact that Edward's lips are amazing and one of the times I'm most happy is when he's moving them all over my body in a way that should be illegal.

No! I take that back! It should _never_ be illegal. I prayed to a higher power that they wouldn't take my words literally. God knows that they probably would, or at least something should go wrong, there was no way anyone that had ever been this happy had not had it all ripped out from under their feet.

And, _yes_. Edward kissing me in this delicious way becoming illegal _would_ count as me having everything ripped out from under me.

My thoughts were interrupted by my own hysterical laughter as Edward began to tickle me mercilessly.

I shrieked a laugh, "Edward, st-stop!" I gasped, giggling uncontrollably between his own chuckles of amusement, as I wriggled and writhed.

In my attempt to get away I rolled over and felt something digging into my back and realised I must have rolled onto his music book. I pulled it out from under me and rolled to my stomach and opened it, looking over the pictures. Edward joined me and I sighed in contentment.

He could write down all his music he had created for his family in here. He could write down the piece he had written for me and Esme and Katie. I bit my lip as I pondered then realisation dawned on me – another piece to the puzzle.

"That tune," I murmured, "The lullaby, the sad one…that was for him wasn't it? For your brother?" My voice was soft and for a second I was worried that this question would definitely be crossing the line, but I reigned in that thought almost as soon as it developed. His walls were down around me now. He trusted me and loved me so it was only fair that I trusted him in return to not snap or get angry with me for wondering about such things.

Edward sighed and I glanced to him just as he nodded.

"He would have loved it," I said softly, with certainty. Then with even more confidence I said, "He would have loved you."

Edward gave me a watery smile but this time I could see that his tears weren't all pain, he was finding it easier to talk about and hear about his little brother, and I think my words made him truly happy to hear.

He pressed a small kiss to my temple.

"Did he have a name?" I asked.

"Collin," Edward cleared his throat, "Esme picked it after…after it happened. It means dove, you know, like the bird. She said he was free."

I leaned over and kissed the tear from his cheek and he nuzzled his nose against mine with a sigh, taking my hand in his own he brought it to his lips to kiss.

I closed my eyes in relaxation. Never before had I felt so at peace, despite the conversation that should have been filled with pain and heartbreak. I had never felt so relaxed and content and I was starting to realise that it was all because of Edward.

Before him I had been so bored with my life, but with him in it, I was no longer disturbed constantly and nagged by tediousness. I was at peace because he brought excitement to my life and in the quieter moments I could appreciate the calmness of them, probably due to the fact that before now my life had been nothing _but_ quiet and calm.

I sighed. I knew what I had to do. Right or wrong, it just had to be done because I knew that all I wanted was Edward.

"I'm going to tell Jacob." I glanced at the guy I loved and watched his own eyes pop open and gaze in my direction.

"Really?" He asked neutrally. He was trying not to give his own opinion on the subject. Despite my constant insistence that he was as much a part of this as I was and he had a right to say what he thought should be done, he told me that this had to be my decision. He claimed he didn't mind our secretiveness because he found it exciting and…to say the least…he hated Jacob. But I knew he didn't want to hide our relationship for longer than was necessary and neither did I.

I nodded, "There's no way in hell I can do this behind his back. Not that it's his feelings I'm worried about. I just…" I trailed off, trying to find the words. Edward let me think; all the while pressing kisses up my arm and across my shoulder – like _that_ was helping!

"I can't even pretend that I remotely enjoy his company when the whole time I'm thinking about being with you. And I definitely cannot let him anywhere near me after sharing _that_ with you." I shook my head. The love Edward and I had just shown each other both physically and verbally could not be tainted by Jacob. I just couldn't bare the thought.

Edward knew exactly what I meant. He gently pulled me so he lay on his back, me on his chest, wrapped in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, stroking lazily up and down my back.

"When are you going to tell him?" He murmured.

"The next time I see him. Monday, I think."

"I'll be with you."

I shook my head and looked up at him, "No. Thank you but the last thing I need is to have that conversation end up in a fight."

I watched Edward purse his lips and frown until he finally relented under my glare. I liked this new power I had over him.

He knew exactly where my thoughts had gone, probably due to my smug expression, and rolled his eyes.

"I know you're ticklish, Bella. Don't make me use that weakness as a threat."

I glared, "You wouldn't."

His eyebrows rose and his eyes widened. Shit.

"You really shouldn't have said that, Swan." He grinned evilly as I began to kneel then move to a crouch, backing away from him.

"Bite me, Cullen." I arched my own eyebrow and hoped against hope that he wouldn't see through my confident façade to the not so confident side of me.

"Run."

I did. I bolted with a yelp to the edge of the woods and stopped when I reached a tree. I turned around to see how close he was and found…nothing. He wasn't behind me. The blanket and random items of clothing lay abandoned, sans hoodie and shorts and Edward's jeans. I frowned.

I felt teeth graze my neck and I shrieked in surprise, jumping round to face Edward who was shockingly a mere inch away from me. Seems like he took the whole "bite me" thing as a challenge.

"You taste good," he growled and suddenly threw me over his shoulder.

"Aaaah!" I half laughed and half screamed as he bounced and ran around, "Put me down."

He lowered me to my feet and I stumbled backwards as I lost my balance before he grabbed me and pulled me into the circle of his arms.

"Let me go," I huffed breathlessly, though with a smile.

"Never." He breathed and leant in for a kiss.

The doorbell rang and I took a deep breath. This was it. This is what all weekend had been leading up to. Jacob was here, and I was breaking up with him.

Edward had badgered me all day about him being there when I told Jake. He pestered me all through morning break, all through lunch – between frantic kisses and make-out sessions in the janitors store cupboard – and all through biology. He didn't stop there. He nagged me during all my other lessons, and every second I wasn't with him, through text.

I knew he was half serious – I think he had been wanting a real fight since the whole La Push thing and he also wanted to be there for me. But I knew he was half being playful. He knew I needed to do this myself and honestly, I think he just wanted a reason to text me all day because it was getting on my nerves.

Yeah, we may love each other but that other part of our "friendship" – the part when he's a pain in the ass and I irritate the hell out of him – was still pretty strong. Though now it ended in a make-out session rather than just plain old frustration, which I preferred…a lot!

What can I say? It never got boring.

I had just got off the phone with him and I thought about our conversation as I headed downstairs to let Jake in.

"Is Charlie home?" He asked as I lay on my bed, fiddling with a strand of hair.

"Nope, I made sure he was out before I called Jake. Didn't want a witness to this. Plus, that would mean having to explain to Charlie and I don't think I'd be able to deal with both him and Jacob in one day."

"Mmm," he hummed in acknowledgment on the other end but I knew that due to this new piece of information he was thinking about something else. "Bella, please just let me come over. I can get there real quick."

"No! There's no way in hell I'm letting you come here, especially without Charlie being here. I'm not stupid Edward, I know why you asked about my dad's presence. You are not, I repeat, NOT coming over here just to freaking punch Jacob in the face."

I heard him sigh then say, "At least punch him in the face for me?"

I laughed, "No!"

He tutted then grumbled a, "Fine."

I smirked rolling my eyes. That was when I heard Jake pull up outside. "He's here."

"Okay," his voice turned much more serious, "Call me when he's gone, let me know you're okay."

I gave a small smile at his words, "Okay."

"Okay," he sounded nervous and again I asked him if "okay" was the only adjective he could think of.

It reminded the both of us of Saturday and put the pair of us in a happier mood.

"I have to go. I love you." I murmured.

"Okay," he laughed again. "I love you back, baby."

My heart felt like it was being wrapped in a warm blanket every time he uttered those words and warm tingly sparks ran up and down my arms and spine.

This was why I was doing this. This was why I was ending it with Jacob. For Edward and I.

It was with that thought that I opened the door and let Jacob inside.

Much like the last time I'd seen him he gave me what I guessed was supposed to be a smile before moving past me. This time, though, he headed the kitchen instead of the living room.

"I'm starving," he called, as I heard cupboard doors banging and drawers opening and closing.

Sure, help yourself, I thought sourly. But I was grateful for the fact that he thought me repulsive or whatever it was and wouldn't come near me armed with a ten-foot pole. At least I wouldn't have to deal with him trying to kiss me or anything.

I sighed heavily as I closed the front door and made my way to the kitchen. This was going to be fun.

I found Jacob making himself a sandwich, wolfing down bits of filling while he worked, dropping crumbs all in the butter and bits of ham in the bag of lettuce. I rolled my eyes, looked like I'd be cleaning up after him as well.

"Jake, listen," I started, "We need to talk."

He slumped heavily and looked at me incredulously then said, with a whine to his voice, "Do we have to? I'm starving and absolutely shattered."

I frowned, "Yes, Jacob, we have to. You know, I don't invite you round here so you can eat all my food and sleep on my couch."

Jacob rolled his eyes at my snapping and muttered something under his breath. He doesn't like arguing, doesn't like confrontation with me. "Don't want to ruin our relationship that way" he used to say to me.

Bullshit. I knew now that you couldn't have a relationship – a healthy one at the least – if you didn't argue. He just didn't care. And to be honest, neither did I anymore.

I crossed my arms angrily and glared at him as he placed his sandwich on the kitchen table before going to the fridge. I was shocked, I thought he was going to start clearing up after himself. But no, he went to the fridge to get one of Charlie's beers!

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I gasped.

He turned around lazily to look at me, "What?"

I gaped, "Are you kidding me? It's one thing to just help yourself to food, Jake, but drinking Charlie's beers!"

Jacob rolled his eyes and made his way sluggishly back to the table, throwing himself down in the chair, placing the beer next to his plate and taking a bite of the sandwich.

"Relax, Bells, he won't know."

"The hell he won't!" I all but shouted his blasé attitude and calmness was pissing me off, "He's not an idiot Jacob, he's a cop for crying out loud."

He shrugged, taking another bite.

"Besides, you're underage."

Jacob arched his brows, "I drink all the time at La Push."

"Well, that's on the reservation, not here." Then another thought hit me, "And you're driving!"

"It's one beer, Bella. I don't know what you're getting in such a strop about." He said, picking food out of his teeth.

I swear, smoke was coming out of my ears, while he sat, as cool as anything eating my food and drinking my dad's beers.

I grabbed the bottle of alcohol and stormed back over to the fridge but before I could reach it he suddenly grabbed my hand and I spun round to see him stood right behind me.

I glared and shrugged my arm out of his grip, putting the beer back in the fridge. Jacob frowned at me as I moved away from him, leaning against the sink before he moved to sit back down at the table.

He picked up his sandwich and looked at it as though trying to figure it out before he muttered, "I don't know what's gotten into you, Bella."

I rolled my eyes, of course. Of course_ I_ was the problem, it was never _Jake's_ problem. _Jake_ was never in the wrong.

"You know, has it never occurred to you Jacob that _you_ might be my problem?" I said scathingly.

He glanced at me, "Oh you want to start pointing the finger do you?" He growled, "Well you might want to look in a different direction. Cullen's direction maybe."

I gave a humourless chuckle, "Oh, he's not the problem, Jacob. If anything he's the one fixing it."

"What the hell does that mean?"

I was throwing caution to the wind. I'd had enough. "It means I've been seeing him Jacob."

Silence hung in the air and Jacob did nothing but stare at me.

"I've been seeing him for a while. And do you want to know why?" I didn't wait for an answer, "It's because he cares, Jake. He cares about _me._ He's nice to me, and when he's not nice I'm still happier with him than I ever have been with you. Because he cares enough to fight with me. He cares enough to get on my nerves to the point where I want to kill him and he turns that anger into something else entirely and he's kissing me with so much passion it could last an entire lifetime."

"He kissed you?" Jacob roared shooting to his feet, knocking the table and sending the plate flying. It landed on the floor and smashed to pieces.

I gaped, "Unbelievable. That's the only thing you got from that?"

"What else was I supposed to get? That we don't fight? Of course we fight, we're fighting now!" He shouted.

I shook my head, "We're fighting for the wrong reasons." I said softly. Funny, I finally get some anger out of him and mine completely diminishes. We really _couldn't_ fight. "You're fighting Jacob, not me. And you're angry because I've wronged _you_, you're not fighting for _me_. Either way, whether we're fighting or not, it's always about you."

He glared at me, fists clenched and I sighed. Well, if I was going to say it I might as well say it all.

"I saw the texts from Leah. I know you've been sleeping with her."

"What?" He shouted again, "You read my texts?"

I could have laughed. Him, him, him it was always about him. How _I _wronged _him_.

"Jacob," The phone rang just as I spoke and I sighed, rubbing my face with my hands tiredly before looking back up at him, leaving the phone to go to voicemail, "I'm not even angry that you did it. I'm not angry about you sneaking around behind my back for god knows how long and sleeping with her. I know, I sound like a hypocrite," I said as he was about to protest angrily, "But I felt like we were _even_."

I watched as the words sunk in, "Remember that, Jake? Remember how you said we were even? You couldn't be bothered to fight with me then and I couldn't be bothered to fight with you when I found out about Leah because, honestly Jake, neither of us cared enough. Sure, maybe we care for each other enough to have a friendship, but I don't think a relationship is for us. You have to understand that?"

I watched as his anger surprisingly disappeared. I thought he was accepting this, I thought he could see my point and understood. Boy was I wrong.

His expression morphed into one of almost pleading as his fists unclenched and he murmured, "But, Bella…I love y-"

"No!" I shouted panicking, "No, Jacob, no you don't. No, no, no, Jake. No!" There was no way in hell I was going to let him finish that sentence. Not only did I know that it wasn't true – why the fuck would he be fucking some other girl if it were – but I was not going to let him taint Edward's confessions of love when I knew one hundred percent that Edward meant them.

"Fine!" He shouted angrily, the façade gone, the fists clenching again, "Fine, I hope you and Cullen are really fucking happy together."

"Oh, well I hope you and Leah are too." I snapped back.

He threw his hands up in the air with a roar and stomped out of the kitchen, his boots crunching against the broken plate as he left, storming down the hallway and out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

I groaned, exhaling, running my hands through my hair. It was over. Thank god it was over.

And despite the fact that our first and last sort-of fight had just occurred, I couldn't help but give a little fist punch to the air.

I rushed to the kitchen door, ready to call Edward and tell him the good news when I yelped as a shooting pain went through my foot.

Dammit. The plate.

I bent down to start picking the pieces up when the phone rang again. I frowned, looking at the digital clock on the oven. It wasn't Edward because he called my cell, as did all of my friends and it couldn't have been Renee because she doesn't call until five. Maybe it was Charlie?

I was right.

"Bells?" His voice came from the other end of the line.

"Yeah?" I asked brightly, I doubted there was anything that could ruin my good mood.

"Listen," he sounded worried and I frowned in confusion, "I, err, I'm going to be coming home now."

"Oh, how come?"

"I…um…has your mother called?"

"Not yet, she doesn't ring until five."

"Right, right. Look…I'll see you in a bit, okay?" By the sound of it he was already driving but before I could ask he had hung up.

And I thought the phone conversation I'd had with Carlisle was weird.

While I had the phone in my hand I thought I'd might as well check the voicemail but what puzzled me even more was the fact that it _was_ Renee.

"Charlie, Bella…It's me." She said, "Listen, Charlie, I spoke to you earlier but, Bella, I…uh…I'm going to call you back in a bit. We need to talk. I love you, honey." And that was it.

I sighed, contemplating the hell could possibly be going on as I bent down to the broken plate again when the sound of the front door slamming open made me jump.

"Bella?" Charlie called.

Well that was fast. "Yeah, in here." I called back.

He looked down at me from the doorway, looking pale and sick, and said, "Did Renee call? Have you spoken to her?" Then he seemed to take in the situation, "What happened?"

"Jacob broke a plate." I said, standing, a shard of porcelain still in my hand. "Actually dad I should probably tell you that-"

The shrill sound of the phone rang about the room and Charlie was quick to snatch it up.

I stared at him, totally perplexed when he said, "Hello?...Yes, Renee, she's right here…" before he handed the phone to me.

I slowly took it from his hand, watching him carefully for a sign of a stroke or a heart attack or something. There was definitely _something_ wrong with him.

He stood close, watching me warily, rather than just going to watch television like he normally did when Renee called.

"Hello?"

"Bella," came my mom's voice, "Hi."

"…Hi. Can err, can you tell me what the hell is going on? Do you know why dad's acting all crazy?" I gave a little chuckle. Renee, however, did not laugh.

"Yes, Bella, I do."

I waited.

"Bella, I have to tell you something, sweetie. Um…are you sitting down?"

"Yes," I lied. This was serious, I could tell by the tone of her voice and Renee was never serious. Never. There was silence on the other end of the line and it was making me nervous. "Mom, what's going on, you're really scaring me." I was suddenly much more anxious about Charlie being home early and his strange behaviour. "Dad already knows, doesn't he? You've already told him whatever it is?"

"Yes, honey, dad knows." She sighed shakily, "Bella, there's no easy way to tell you this so…I'm just going to come right out and say it. I, uh…the doctor says I have Lampington's disease, Bella."

My heart stopped. The piece of plate I was holding was suddenly cutting into my hand. I could feel the trickle of blood flow down my fingers. Then my mother said the words that changed my life forever.

"I have a week or so…left…to live."

My world went black.

* * *

**Drama, drama, drama. **

**Okay, so, the disease Renee has is completely fictional. I borrowed it from the film Last Holiday. It may be fictional but it does the job I need it to do. **

**Review!**


	13. Breathe

**So, here's the next chapter. Don't worry it doesn't end in a cliffhanger. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen  
Breathe

"_I see your face in my mind as I drive away,  
__cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.  
__People are people and sometimes we change our minds  
__But it's killing me to see you go after all this time."_

I had no idea how I made it through the next couple of days. But if it was even possible, I came out of them feeling worse than when Renee had told me the news.

The news, I swallowed against the lump in my throat. The phone call. Lampington's disease. A week or so left. I shuddered as I remembered.

I had woken up to find myself laid across the couch in the living room and for three blissful seconds, in my still confused and sleepy haze, I had forgotten what Renee had told me. Then I remembered.

She was dying. My mom was going to die.

I didn't understand how this had happened, she was young, she had always been healthy. Why her? Why me?

I had glanced around the room to find Charlie, sat on the armchair, his face buried in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. He heard me stir and looked up sharply.

"Bella," he said hoarsely. He moved closer to me to brush my hair from my face as he kissed my forehead. "I'm so sorry, honey."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, what could I say?

Charlie watched me warily as I looked around the room, trying to come to terms with everything. It just hadn't sunk in at all. It couldn't be true. It just didn't make sense.

"I told your mother you would ring her when you woke up. Are you feeling okay, honey? You didn't hit your head?"

For a second I had no idea what he was talking about before it all came rushing back to me. The plate cutting into my hand. Blackness. I must have passed out.

I shook my head in answer to his question.

"Shall…shall I call Renee for you?"

I simply nodded and he jumped up, seeming glad he finally had something to do. Charlie never had been one to show his emotions and I expected he not only felt uncomfortable but he must have been hurting, too. He had loved her. I didn't think he had ever stopped.

He called me into the kitchen a little while later and when I entered he handed me the phone, his eyes looking a little red and he left to give me some privacy. At that point in time, though, I felt like I both wanted him with me and wanted to be completely alone.

"M-mom?" I cleared my throat and it sounded dry and hoarse as though I had been crying for hours.

"Bella," her voice was a whisper and I could hear the tears. I could see her face in my mind, a hand covering her mouth, silent tears pouring down her cheeks and she clutched the phone in her other hand as though it were her life line. I felt sick at the thought. "I…I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"It's not your fault." I croaked. "How…how did you…how…?"

She seemed to understand what I was asking. "I was just getting a lot of migraines," she said, "They would just come and go, one day I'd feel completely fine and the next I wouldn't be able to leave a dark room for fear of the light causing the headache to worsen. The doctor wasn't quite sure what it was so he sent me to the hospital just for a check up. Turns out its Lampington's."

"I…" I swallowed, "I don't know what to say."

"Oh, you shouldn't have to know what to say sweetie. God knows none of us saw this coming." She paused, "Would you…would you come and stay with me, Bella? I need you see you, honey."

I nodded though she couldn't see me, "Yes. Of course."

"You should bring Jacob. I'd like to see him. I've spoken to Charlie and we've said…we said what needed to be said. I don't want you to be a-alone when…" she trailed off and my breath caught at silent understanding. I knew what she was talking about, it was just impossible to comprehend that she was talking about her…in the near future.

A week or so. I winced.

It wasn't until we had said our…"see you soon"s and hung up that I really thought about what she has asked me to do. Bring Jacob. She didn't know. Of course she didn't know. I hadn't told her about Edward or any of it. She didn't even know there was an Edward. And she had always liked Jake.

I swallowed thickly again, forcing down the painful lump in my throat. I knew what I had to do. It was going to hurt, more than I could imagine, but it had to be done. Like it or not Renee was…dying. And this had to be done, for her.

"_Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm  
__Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm."_

I stumbled out of my truck wrapped up in Edward's hoodie as I approached his front door. I was about to knock when it swung open and found myself face to face with him, and he was angry.

"Where have you been?" He asked pulling me into an angry hug, "Why weren't you in school? I've been calling you all day. Why didn't you answer or reply to my texts I was really worried about you."

I pulled away from him. "I, um…" I took a deep breath and let my lungs fill with his scent, "I need to talk to you." I murmured.

He frowned taking in my pale and worn face, the dark circles beneath my eyes and my messed hair, thrown into a bun carelessly.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, opening the door wider to let me in.

I shook my head at the gesture, ignoring his question, "I can't stay long."

His eyes widened suddenly. "Why, is it Charlie? Is he not letting you see me? God, Bella you should have let me be there when you told Jacob. Did he get angry?" Then something else made his eyes burn with fury and his voice turned cold and deadly, "Did he hurt you? I'll fucking kill him."

"No, Edward, its not that," I took in another deep breath. "I…Edward I'm going to Seattle."

"Oh," he murmured with a frown, "How long for? Why?"

I gave a half shrug, "A couple of weeks." I closed my eyes tight wishing with all my heart that these words weren't about to come out of my mouth yet willing myself to say them. "E-edward." I swallowed, "I can't…I can't see you anymore."

"_Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie,  
__It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see.  
__Cause it's tragedy and It'll only bring you down,  
__Now I don't know what to be without you around."_

I opened my eyes to find him staring at me in disbelief and confusion, "What? What are you talking about?"

"I…I love you Edward, I do, its just…you're exciting. And you're fun and rebellious and…you intrigued me, you were different and a risk and I didn't have that in my life before you came. I was bored but…that's it. I mean, maybe I just needed a bit of excitement in my life and you could provide that but what if that's all it was? What if that's we don't really care about each other they way we thought we did? What if a couple of months down the line we get bored of _each other?_" I could hear my voice getting slightly hysterical but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Bella, what the fuck are you talking about?" His tone was harsh and angry and I couldn't blame him, "That's a load of crap, you know it is. Why the fuck are you saying this?" By the end of it he was shouting at me and I let out a shaky breath as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"My mom's dying."

He froze, his eyes widening in worry and sympathy and pain for me, "Bella-"

"I'm going to Seattle with Jacob."

"…What?"

"My mom wants me to go see her and she wants Jacob to come. Jake is…he's better for me, Edward."

"Bullshit!" He roared, "That's fucking bullshit, Bella! Don't try and blame this on our differences, you're just fucking scared."

I started to shake my head but he wouldn't let me talk.

"No. You're fucking scared, Bella, and you always have been. The only reason you were bored before you met me was because you were too scared to venture further than your fucking front door. You got comfortable and complacent and you were bored with that because you were too scared to do anything about it." He gave a harsh laugh through his yells, "And you're still fucking scared. More now than ever because you're way, way, way out of your comfort zone. You're losing your mom and that has completely fucking thrown you so you're doing the only thing you can think to do, which is to go crawling back that asshole and your empty life before."

"_And I know it's never simple, never easy,  
__Never a clean break no one here to save me.  
__You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand."_

His chest was heaving with his anger while he shouted at me and I just stood there, silent tears running down my face as I sucked in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorr-"

"Don't fucking tell me you're sorry, Bella. Don't you fucking dare."

"Well what do you want me to do?" I screamed at him, "What the fuck do you want from me?"

"I want you to tell me that you aren't going back to him."

"I CAN'T DO THAT!" I sobbed through my shouts, "DO YOU THINK THIS IS EASY FOR ME? MY MOM IS DYING, SHE ASKED FOR JAKE AND I TO GO SEE HER AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO FUCKING DO. WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT."

"Fine, do whatever you want, Bella. It's clear to me that my opinion doesn't fucking matter to you any more. But do not blame this on what's happening with your mother and do not blame this on our differences because you know as well as I do that we're fucking perfect for each other. Screaming and all." His voice lost it's volume which somehow made his next utterance hit me harder than anything else he had yelled at me. "Don't make fucking excuses. Admit it Bella, you're scared."

I sucked in a lungful of air, swallowing once again at the lump in my now sore throat. I took a last look at his face. At the passion and pain and anger burning in his eyes before I turned away.

"Not going to argue with me anymore?" He muttered and I froze. "Maybe you really don't care. Maybe you never did."

I chocked on my breath, inhaling deeper, I felt like my lungs were just collapsing. I felt like my heart was about to stop beating.

"Well," he said hoarsely, "When you get bored again don't come running back to me. I won't be here. I'm done."

My heart didn't stop beating. It broke. I heard the crunch of his feet on the gravel as he walked further and further away from me until I heard the door slam.

I all but ran to my truck, yanking open the door and throwing myself inside and turning the ignition. The engine whirred and whined.

"Come on," I moaned, gasping desperately through my tears.

It jumped to life with a rumble and soon I was speeding out of the driveway and along the road, my hands trembling hard against the steering wheel. I was running away. Because that was what I did. I ran away when things got too difficult because Edward was right. I was scared.

I gasped frantically for breath, clutching at my chest with one hand where a painful stabbing started to gnaw at my dead heart. My heart that was broken. My heart that fought with all it's might to beat. I couldn't breathe.

"_And I can't breathe  
__Without you, but I have to  
__Breathe  
__Without you, but I have to."_

"You alright?" Jacob asked, glancing at me warily as I stared numbly out of the window.

I nodded but said nothing.

"I'll…I'll stop seeing Leah." He said.

Again I simply nodded.

We were on our way to Seattle, Jake driving my truck. I was trying desperately not to think about the confrontation with Edward earlier today but being in Jacob's company wasn't exactly helping. Nor were his little comments about Leah and constantly asking if I was okay. I knew he didn't care. He just felt awkward.

"I don't think I ever told you how sorry I was about your mom."

Another thing I didn't exactly what to think about right at that moment. These were going to be the hardest couple of weeks of my life and I didn't need this running commentary throughout it all.

"She's not fucking dead yet." I snapped angrily.

"Sorry," he muttered. Sans sincerity.

The lump in my throat was growing continuingly tighter. I felt like I couldn't breathe and everything just hurt. My head, my eyes, my throat, my heart.

God. The pain in Edward's eyes. I had caused that. Me. The person who hated seeing a hint of unhappiness on his face. Me. The person who was ready to kill Carlisle for hurting Edward the way he did. I really was a fucking hypocrite.

I had hurt him the most.

Jacob rammed over a really harsh bump and I winced when I hit my head against the window.

I sighed, rubbing the sore spot. Another ache to add to the list.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

We'd be at Renee's soon.

"_Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt.  
__Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.  
__People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out.  
__Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fallout."_

It was dark by the time we had pulled onto Renee's drive and I could see the hallway light shining behind the front door.

I staggered my way out of the truck as Jake heaved our bags out of the back. I shivered and snuggled further into Edward's hoodie, burying my hands in the pocket at the front and let a single tear fall as a whiff of his scent caught me.

I choked on a silent sob when the front door opened and Renee's silhouette could be seen in the door frame.

"Bella." She called opening her arms.

I didn't think. I ran. And I didn't stop until I was in her arms. I buried my face in her hair, clutching her tightly and let the tears fall and I gasped.

"_I can't breathe  
__Without you, but I have to  
__Breathe  
__Without you, but I have to."_

I sat in the dark on the floor, strumming my guitar, in my bedroom at Renee's house as my thoughts filed with the memories of the past few days that I knew were going to haunt me for a lifetime. Jacob was asleep on the couch downstairs on which my mother and I had spent hours sat, cuddled and talking and crying. It got to midnight before she insisted I went to bed and she headed to the bedroom she shared with Phil.

I didn't even bother getting into bed. There was no point. Despite the emotional drain of the day there was no way I would be able to sleep. Why try?

So I sat and pulled out my guitar and let myself remember how this nightmare had started. As I strummed my fingers against the strings I half wished that I was going to wake up in my bed at Charlie's and ring my mother and tell her all about the bizarre dream I had had and rush to school and throw myself into Edward's arms.

But there was no point in wishing. Wishing was a pointless and hopeless thing.

As was praying. No one was going to hear you. We kid ourselves into thinking there is some bigger picture, that there is more to life than this and that there is some profound and deep meaning that we'll discover at the end of time that'll prove that it had all been worth it. We kid ourselves into believing that bad things happen in the world so there are good things such as compassion.

But its bullshit.

All of it.

There is no God or higher power. When we pray or wish we're just talking to ourselves. Hope is such a useless emotion. As is love.

Love is the worst of all of them.

It just comes around to stab you in the back when you're not looking. You love someone as a mother, it will only end in loss and pain and heartbreak. You love someone as a partner, it will only end in loss and pain and heartbreak.

I glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table and gave a shaky sigh.

I used to think that love was meant to be as easy as breathing. I scoffed through my tears. As easy as breathing. Who the hell said it was easy to breathe? I know I fucking couldn't.

Love was a useless emotion that only caused pain and suffering.

So why the hell did I want it so bad?

I strummed the guitar and continued to sing the words that came naturally to me, I sang the words that came to my heart.

"_It's two a.m. feeling like I just lost a friend  
__I hope you know its not easy, easy for me.  
__It's two a.m. feeling like I just lost a friend  
__I hope you know its not easy, easy for me."_

My voice trembled and threatened to break as I gasped between the words for air that seemed to rush hollowly into my lungs, like I was going through the motions but was getting no relief from it.

"_And we know its never simple, never easy  
__Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh."_

I bit my lip to hold in a sob.

"_I can't breathe  
__Without you, but I have to  
__Breathe  
__Without you, but I have to  
__Breathe  
__Without you, but I have to."_

For all the pain I knew I was going through, what killed me the most was knowing that Edward must have been feeling this too. Not only had I hurt him in such a way but without me I knew his walls would be back and that would harm him more than anything else.

The realisation brought a sob from my lips.

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.  
__I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."_

I broke down. The tears erupted and streamed down my face, flowing freely and the sobs ripped from my chest as I gasped.

I stood and found my feet leading me to my mother's room. Both she and Phil sat up blearily as light seeped into their room from the open door.

With one look at me, without a word, Renee pulled the covers back and I climbed into bed with her. Phil left us at some point and I fell into a fitful and restless sleep, with my mother's protective arms around me.

* * *

**Please don't hate me. I promise, Bella and Edward will get their much deserved happily ever after.**

**The song is owned by Taylor Swift but for the sake of the story we're going to pretend Bella wrote it ;)**

**Review!**


	14. The Way I Loved You

**Here's chapter fourteen. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen  
The Way I Loved You

Breakfast the next morning was very tense. I stumbled into the kitchen to find Renee and Jacob sat at the table, Phil stood by the sink sipping a mug of coffee.

I was sure I looked a mess, my eyes were not only sore from the tears I had shed but the dark circles beneath them told everyone how little sleep I had the night before.

As I dropped down into the chair next to Renee she gave me a smile and kissed my temple before continuing to eat.

Jacob glanced up at me, "How did you sleep?" He asked.

As if my sleepy state, dark circles and messed appearance wasn't enough of a clue. He knew I slept awfully and I didn't appreciate his pathetic attempt at a normal conversation. Nothing about this situation was normal and his trying to act so angered me.

"How do you think?" I muttered, soaking bits of cereal into the milk while wondering whether it was possible to drown myself in the bowl.

I felt my mother's eyes on me and knew I'd have to be more careful. She didn't need to know all about Jacob's and mine messed up relationship when she was a week away from…I swallowed. She didn't need to know.

"Would you pass me the butter?" Jake asked.

I wordlessly handed it to him before turning back to my soggy cereal and thinking how I hadn't wanted it in the first place. I took it because I didn't want Renee to worry – which she would – and she just didn't have time for that now.

"What do you fancy doing today?" She asked me, taking a sip of her own coffee that Phil had placed in front of her.

I stared at her.

"Fancy doing a bit of shopping?" She asked.

"I'm sorry?" I questioned.

"Well, we don't have to if you'd rather do something else."

I frowned. I didn't understand.

"Maybe you could go see a movie?" Phil suggested. It was as if I was sat inside a television and was unaware that I had been placed there, as they acted out some sort of show, like they all thought I was a part of it but I had no idea what was going on – what my cues or lines were.

"Ooh, that could be fun. I've been wanting to see that new film called Magic Max or Magic Mike or something like that. You know the one with those good looking men, Channing someone and Alex Pettyfer." Renee winked at Phil playfully.

"I doubt Bella would enjoy that." Jake joked with Renee and Phil.

"Oh of course she would. Bella can appreciate good looking guys, can't you Bella?"

I felt extremely out of place like I had just stepped into a parallel world or something. They were acting like this was just a normal day in the life of the Dwyer residence. Like they were something out of Keeping Up With The Joneses. I didn't know what to do, or say, or act.

So…I went along with it, quite blindly as though improvising.

I gave a weak smile in response to Renee's question before excusing myself to go upstairs to change.

I didn't understand. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know who to be. I needed…

But he wasn't here right now and he wasn't going to be there when I went back so I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it.

The entire day continued in the same way as this morning had. Like this were a show and we all had a part to play. But I completely lost it later on that evening when Renee asked what we all fancied for dinner, wether we should order in or go out. They had been ignoring the elephant in the room all day and I'd had enough. I snapped.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I all but shouted and everyone's heads snapped in my direction. "Why are you all behaving like this?"

"Bella-" Renee tried but I wouldn't let her.

"No! You're all acting like everything is normal. Well, let me tell you something. It's not. It's _not_ normal. Why are you pretending? Why are you acting like there is nothing wrong?" My hands were shaking and I was taking in gasping breaths of what felt like stale air. "Mom, you're dying. You're dying and in a couple of weeks you're not going to be here." I shook my head as tears blurred my vision, "You're not going to be here anymore and you're all just acting like this is a normal day and pretending that there's nothing wrong."

Renee sighed as she brushed away a tear that had escaped and gently patted Phil's hand, which he had placed on her shoulder in concern.

"Would you give us a minute?" She asked softly and he slowly nodded, kissing her cheek before leaving the room and motioning for Jacob to do the same.

Renee sat herself of the couch and patted the space next to her.

"Bella, come here."

I stumbled my way over and sat beside her, she took my hands in her own and looked deep into my eyes sadly. But not only were they reflecting unhappiness, they were reflecting sympathy. Why would she be feeling sympathy for me? I wasn't the one dying.

"Bella, honey," she sighed again, "No one is pretending anything. I know what's going to happen. I know what is happening but…no matter how many tears are shed, no matter how long we grieve for," she shook her head, "It's not going to change the outcome. Nothing can."

She brushed away my tears.

"I asked this of Phil, Bella. I asked him not to cry for me and now I'm going to ask the same of you. I know it's hard, Bella, but please don't cry for me. By all means go ahead and cry for your loss, but do not cry for _me_ and do not cry forever. You shouldn't cry because something has ended, Bella, you should smile because it happened. I want you to live your life Bella, just as you would have if I were there to see it. I don't want this to hold you back and bring you down and affect everything you do in your life."

Despite her warm hands caressing my cheeks and wiping away my tears, more fell at her words.

"I've had a good life, Bella. Better than most. So what if it's going to end sooner than what I thought it would? I've experienced so many things in my life, achieved so many great things, don't cry over my life, when I've had a good one, so much so that it destroys yours. Because you, Bella, are by far my greatest achievement and for you to ruin your life over mine would just be…unthinkable. Please, Bella. Don't be scared to let go, don't be scared to live."

We didn't go out for dinner, we stayed in and ordered Chinese while we sat snuggled in the living room watching home videos that made Renee and me cry.

"You were such a curious baby," Renee chuckled as we watched my one year old self at Christmastime, lean so far into a cardboard box that I fell right in.

She gasped with a beam as we watched another video, "Do you remember that holiday?" She asked.

"Of course," I giggled, "We stayed in the dirtiest, scariest hotel in which they demanded us not to turn on the light at night in risk of attracting poisonous insects."

"The apparent swimming pool was in fact a pond in which they kept the fish they served in the restaurant."

"On top of that, we had a terrible coach driver the journey back to the airport that kept getting lost so we missed our flight."

"We were delayed seventeen hours."

"The fat guy sat in front of me on the plane and squished me the entire way back."

"And they lost our luggage." Renee giggled.

"Never again am I going on a supposedly "luxury" holiday with you that you've won on the Internet." My giggles subsided quickly. I'd never get the chance. The tears filled my eyes and Renee wrapped her arm around me as I leant my head on her shoulder and cried silently. She pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

"It was the worst holiday ever." I breathed through my tears.

"It was my best." Renee whispered.

I sniffed and snuggled closer to her, wrapping my own arms around her waist. "Mine too."

"Oh this is the video of you and Jake when you went to visit Charlie." She said.

We watched as Jake and I threw mud pies at each other having got bored with Billy and Charlie as they fished. Jake crashed into me and we fell into the water, causing Charlie and Billy to cry out that we were scaring the fish away. We just burst into hysterical laughter and couldn't stop.

"You were such good friends." She murmured.

"Mmm."

"What happened there?"

"What do you mean?"

"You thought I wouldn't notice the way you two have been acting around each other today? I mean, I know you said you're still together but…"

I shrugged.

"It's that other boy, isn't it?"

I looked up at her sharply, "What?"

"Oh Bella," she sighed dramatically, "I'm your mother. Did you really think that through all our phone conversations and e-mails that I wouldn't have a clue that there was someone else?"

"I…what…how?"

"You stopped talking about Jake but…you sounded happier than I had ever heard you. Or even seen you. I knew the signs Bella."

I said nothing. I didn't know if I was ready to talk about it. Renee let me sit in silence for a while as we watched a couple more videos before she said softly, "What's his name?"

"E-Edward." I chocked.

"Did you end it or did he?"

I didn't question how she knew. I guess what they said was right. A mother _always_ knew.

"I did."

"Tell me about him."

"I…he…" I shook my head, "He's the best. We, err, we met in a Biology lesson, he was new to the school. And I couldn't stand him." I chuckled through my tears and Renee smiled. "He was infuriating. I'd heard all these rumours about him and he just seemed to confirm them all that first day. He was such an asswipe."

Renee smiled wider. Once I had started talking about him I found I couldn't stop, everything just came gushing out like I had no filter.

"One second he was a complete douche and the next he was the nicest guy in the world. He, um…he convinced me to ditch. We were partnered for some project and he said we would work on it. But we didn't. He took me to…" I could tell her. "He took me to this meadow and it was just amazing. And we just sat and talked. Then Charlie found out and grounded me and he…he snuck me out of the house one night…" I waited to see how Renee would react but she looked like Rose, enraptured with my storytelling. "He took me to a karaoke bar and he got me to sing. He said he would. He said I was amazing and that I shouldn't let anyone tell me different." A tear fell from my eye despite my smile.

More tears fell as I continued to tell her about Edward and how he made me feel, how he said such sweet things to me despite his silly tough guy façade. I told her how he was my first, I told her he said he loved me. I told her how I broke his heart and my own.

When I had finally finished my throat was sore from talking so much and I was gasping a little for air. Renee watched me in silence with a knowing expression on her face. She smiled and I had to know what about.

"Bella," she said, "I'm going to tell you something and it may surprise you."

"Okay," I said slowly, wondering where she was going with this.

"I had an Edward once," I gaped. "Now, I loved your father. I really did, I swear. But we just weren't meant to be. A bit like you and Jacob. He isn't right for you, you must know that, Bella."

I nodded, "I know."

"Bella, I married him. I married my Edward and I've never looked back. Phil loves me like Edward loves you, with such a fiery passion it just never burnt out. It never could burn out. Charlie and I loved each other but, we were kids, we went through the motions of being _in _love when really, we didn't know what it was to _be_ in love."

"Wow."

"Bella, you shouldn't have let him go. You should get him back."

I shook my head, "No mom, we loved each other, like you said. But we don't know what it is to be in love."

"Bullshit." Renee whispered softly with a smile but with fire in her eyes, surprising me with her cursing. "Bella, if everything you have just told me is true then you've experienced something some people search a lifetime for. You're perfect for each other."

I shook my head, "Even if I wanted to, he wouldn't take me back. Not after what I did to him."

"I'm surprised in you, Bella." Her tone was slightly scolding and I knew I deserved it. "But if he loves you like he says he does then, with time, you'll be together again."

I couldn't help but disagree so I said nothing, letting my mother believe that a happily ever after was meant for me. But I knew the truth. Without Edward there was no happily after for me and after what I had done, I didn't deserve one. But for my mother's peace of mind I kept that information to myself.

It was time for me to buck up. I couldn't be this weak pathetic person I had become. I needed to be strong for Renee; I would deal with Edward at a much later date because right now, Renee was important.

But as I strummed my guitar later on that night, the only thing that helped me get to sleep, I couldn't help the words that came to me.

"_He can't see the smile I'm faking  
__And my hearts not breaking  
_'_Cause I'm not feeling anything at all.  
__And you were wild and crazy  
__Just so frustrating, intoxicating  
__Complicated, got away by some mistake and now_

_I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain  
__It's 2 a.m. and I'm cursing your name.  
__I'm so in love that I acted insane  
__And that's the way I loved you.  
__Breaking down and coming undone  
__It's roller coaster kind of rush  
__And I never knew I could feel that much_

_And that's the way I loved you."_

* * *

**Not my favourite chapter and I know it's shorter than most of the other but...meh. **

**Again, we're just pretending the song is Bella's own. We all know it's Taylor Swifts :)**

**Review!**


	15. Far Away

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I know from reading some of them that things may not be happening in the story as some of you have hoped but I hope this satisfies you and you like it all the same. Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen  
Far Away

Renee's health deteriorated rapidly and after two weeks of tears and laughter and reminiscing and creating new memories, she could no longer get out of bed.

I sat by her side day and night where we would have whispered conversations under the covers of the duvet by torchlight as we did when I was little and got scared of the dark or of nightmares.

One conversation stood out for me more than the others.

"I want you to do something for me," Renee whispered.

"Anything," I breathed back.

"When this is all over-"

"Mom, don't."

"No, Bella, please listen to me. If there is only one thing you ever remember me telling you I want it to be this."

I sighed and nodded, silently telling her to continue.

"When you go back to Forks I want you to go to Edward." She said, giving me a reproving look when I was about to protest. "Bella, you know better than anyone that you're in love with that boy, no matter what you say. You can't lie to me sweetie, I'm your mother. I know everything."

I gave a weak smile.

"We both know the truth," she murmured "And I want to give you some advice that I want you to abide by like the law." Her tone and expression turned even more serious than what they were before and I held my breath, waiting for it. "Bella, I never want you to do what is expected of you, ever again. I don't care about what Charlie says, or what your friends say or what Jake says. You need to stop fretting over what others will think and what they will do if you follow through with what you want.

"You've spent your whole life doing what other people want you to do, and I'm not excluding myself from that list, I've lost count the amount of times you've kept quiet about your own opinions just to make me happy. I don't care about anyone else, Bella, I care about you and your happiness and the second you mentioned that boy's name I knew he was the only one that could make you happy.

You can't deny love, Bella, you can't run from it or hide from it no matter how hard you try."

I took a shaky breath. "Surely by doing as you ask I'll be doing what you expect of me."

Renee gave a wry smile and mock glared at me, "Smart ass." I chuckled.

"Please, Bella." She said softly, "Don't be scared to go after your dreams, no matter what they are or _who_ they may be. Don't be scared to trust your heart."

When we woke the next morning, she was gone. Renee had slipped away peacefully in her sleep.

I cried. Not for her, Renee had not wanted me to cry for her but I cried for my own loss.

Then I smiled. I smiled because she was my mother. I smiled because I knew her. I smiled because she had been the best mother I ever could have hoped for and I smiled because I loved her.

I smiled because she had _lived_.

The next couple of days were a blur. Mainly due to all the funeral preparations that had to be made and then there was the funeral itself.

Everyone who came respectfully wore black. I didn't and neither did Phil. Renee wouldn't have wanted us to be mourning her death and wearing the depressing colour that was black. She never wore black herself in her every day life if she could help it.

I wore the blue dress she had bought me on our worst best holiday with Renee's own knitted cream cardigan and a pair of blue ballet flats. Phil wore the outfit he had worn on their first date.

Instead of singing hymns, because Renee wasn't catholic, Phil asked me to sing. He had said Renee had requested it if I was up for it. So I sang the song I had written for her during the nights I spent by her side and could not sleep.

"_You looked at me and saw what I never did see  
__You made me feel more than I thought I could ever be.  
__And when I needed a friend you were always there to lift me up  
__To make me strong.  
__You're not gone_

_You're still here  
__With me all the time  
__You're still here  
__When I close my eyes  
__I still see you  
__I still feel you  
__And we'll never be apart  
__You're still here  
__Still here in my heart  
__In my heart."_

Tears leaked from my eyes despite the smile on my face.

_"Because of you I knew how it felt to be loved  
__You made me feel beautiful 'cause you believed I was  
__And I will never forget how you touched my life  
__You made me feel like I belong  
__You live on_

_You're still here  
__With me all the time  
__You're still here  
__When I close my eyes  
__I still see you  
__I still feel you  
__And we'll never be apart  
__You're still here  
__Still here in my heart  
__In my heart_

_All my life  
__You'll be in my life  
__You'll be part of me  
__I'll just think of you and you'll still be  
__You'll still be here  
__Still here  
__You're with me all the time  
__You'll still be here  
__Still here  
__When I close my eyes  
__I still see you  
__I still feel you  
__And we'll never be apart  
__You're still here in my heart_

_I still see you  
__I still feel you  
__And we'll never be apart  
__You're still here in my heart  
__In my heart  
__In my heart  
__In my heart_

_Still here."_

Phil put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head.

"She would have loved that," he whispered with a sad smile and I nodded.

We had her cremated. Renee said that she did not want to be buried in a box and stuffed underground. She jokingly said she needed room to haunt us all with her unfinished business.

She was crazy and erratic until the very end. I loved her for it.

Renee had also told us that she didn't want to be put in a jar and stuck up on the mantle like some display piece – she said she wanted to be free.

So, a few days after the funeral we scattered her ashes over her favourite beach in Seattle. It was her favourite place in the world.

As Phil, Jacob and I walked back to the house from the beach we heard thunder, rumbling in the clouds above us and it started to rain. Not the kind of the light, spitting rain that got you a little bit wet. The kind of rain that soaked you to the skin so you looked like a drowned cat and caused floods.

Phil and Jacob ran ahead, eager to get back home to the dry warmth. I, however, savored it. I welcomed to cool water rushing over my body and washing away the remnants of the day. I felt like it was washing away the past and the pain and I had a feeling the sun was going to shine bright and clear tomorrow.

The water soaking my hair and plastering my clothes to my body reminded me of the theme park. I smiled at the memory of Edward, mock glaring at me, drenched from head to toe before his laughter rang in my ears. The feel of his hands on my body as he peeled away the wet sweater. His kisses. His open eyes and whispered words of "I love you".

I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the sky, letting the rain blend with my tears and caress them away along with all the hurt and pain and suddenly, through the pounding of the rain hitting the road the rumbling thunder and streaks of lightning, I heard my mothers last words to me as though she was stood right by my side, whispering them into my ear. Though it was only the wind that rushed and whipped past me.

"_Don't be scared to go after your dreams no matter what or _who_ they may be. Don't be scared to trust your heart."_

Don't be scared to trust my heart. My heart was struggling to beat, it was aching for the soul it belonged to, the soul of the boy I loved.

My heart wasn't afraid and with a sudden jolt I realized I wasn't afraid when I was _with_ him. I was scared of _losing_ him.

Edward had been right. I pushed him away when I need him the most because the thought of losing Renee had completely thrown me. I had been losing her and I was scared of losing him too, so I ran away because I thought if it was my own decision then I would be able to deal with it.

But I couldn't. I needed him. I needed him to breathe. Since leaving him I hadn't been able to take a real deep breath, I hadn't been able to soothe that ache in my lungs because he was my life. He had my heart and it was failing to beat without him.

_This time, this place  
__Misused, mistakes.  
__Too long, too late  
__Who was I to make you wait?  
__Just one chance  
__Just one breath  
__Just in case there's just one left  
_'_Cause you know,  
__You know, you know…_

I wasn't scared with Edward. I could take risks and be daring because I knew with my whole heart that he loved me. I knew he wouldn't judge me or expect things of me. I knew he would always be there to catch me when the risks and the dares went wrong.

As a clap of thunder made me jump I was startled into a realization that hit me like lightning.

I wasn't scared anymore. I could dance like no one was watching; I could sing at the top of my lungs, I could be who I wanted to be, because with him…I was fearless.

_That I love you  
__I have loved you all along  
__And I miss you  
__Been far away for far too long.  
__I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
__And you'll never go  
__Stop breathing  
__If I don't see you anymore._

I didn't think, I ran. I'd done enough thinking and brooding and wallowing it was time to take action. I needed to get to Edward. Now. I ran faster than I had ever run before, through the pouring rain and thunder and lightning. Nothing was going to stop me. Nothing was going to get in my way.

_On my knees, I'll ask  
__Last chance for one last dance  
__'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
__All of hell to hold your hand  
__I'd give it all  
__I'd give for us  
__Give anything but I won't give up  
__'Cause you know,  
__You know, you know_

I sprinted back to the house and threw the front door open.

"Bella?" I heard Jacob asked, bewildered as I rushed into the kitchen, rifling frantically through the draws trying to find my keys.

"What have you lost?" Phil asked from his position at the table where he was nursing a beer and chewing on a sandwich.

"Keys," I muttered.

"Where are you going?"

I turned, "I have to go back to Forks. Right now." I turned back to the draws again before I felt a hand tap my shoulder.

I spun round to see Phil with my keys dangling from his finger. "Go get him," he winked.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled when we said in unison, "Renee."

I kissed his cheek, "Thank you."

"Good luck," he called to me as I went barreling out the door.

I heard Jacob calling my name again as I threw myself into the truck but his hand on my arm stopped me.

"What Jacob?" I asked, exasperated and desperate as he pulled me out of the cab.

"Where are you going?" He demanded.

"I'm going to Edward." I tried to climb in the truck again but his next words had me frozen to the spot.

"You're going back to that _murderer?_"

I slowly turned, "What did you say?"

"Hah! Didn't know that did you? The asshole killed his own brother, he's a murderer. It's too bad your boyfriend can't stand the truth though, isn't it."

"What are you talking about, Jacob?" The fucker didn't hear the deadly tone to my voice and continued with his smug attitude.

"Remember the so called fight at La Push, I made him aware that I knew what he had done, I called him out for what he really is. A murderer."

I didn't think. I punched. Right in the face.

"Argh!" He cried out as he bent double, clutching his broken nose.

"That was for Edward you fucking dickhead." I spat and jumped into the truck, swerving out of the driveway and speeding off down the road.

_That I love you  
__I have loved you all along  
__And I miss you  
__Been far away for far too long.  
__I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
__And you'll never go  
__Stop breathing  
__If I don't see you anymore._

It was a fairly long drive from Seattle to Forks but I was buzzing the entire way, the Nickleback song on the radio only spurred me on and my driving sped up slightly as I made it into Forks, getting closer and closer to where I knew I needed to be. Closer and closer to Edward.

The thunderstorm seemed to follow me and my windscreen wipers were going crazy. I ran my hand through my wet hair, brushing it away from my face and I had a brief panic attack about how I looked. Then I figured I didn't give a shit. I was going to Edward and that was all that mattered.

_So far away  
__Been far away for far too long  
__So far away  
__Been far away for far too long  
__But you know, you know, you know_

I sped past school, a grin lighting up my face. My body was completely humming. I felt like the lighting above was electrifying me. My heart was pounding harder than it ever had since leaving Forks but now I was back it was like it sensed Edward was near, that he was close, that soon I'd be able to breathe easy again.

_I wanted  
__I wanted you to stay  
__'Cause I needed  
__I need to hear you say_

Before I knew it I was speeding down Edward's road, looking desperately for the turning when suddenly a flash of light startled me as I stared in disbelief as lighting hit a tree on one side of the road and I watched in horror as it went up in flames and, as if in slow motion, began to fall.

_That I love you  
__I have loved you all along  
__And I forgive you  
__For being away for far too long_

I couldn't stop. I was going way too fast. The roads were wet. I hit the brakes but I knew I was too late.

_So keep breathing  
__'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
__Believe it  
__Hold on to me and, never let me go_

Noise. Just noise. The sickening crunch of the metal of the truck against the solid wood of the tree. The smash of glass.

_Keep breathing  
__'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
__Believe it  
__Hold on to me and, never let me go_

The frantic beating of my heart. So much shooting, blinding pain that I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Everything was dark, and loud and hurting. I gasped frantically.

_Keep breathing_

I can't.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go._

Edward. Added to the pain was the ache of never reaching him.

_Keep breathing_

I needed to. I needed to see Edward. I struggled to open my eyes but they wouldn't budge. It was getting darker and fuzzier. I needed to fight, I needed to tell Edward. He wouldn't know. But I was slipping further and further away, it was pulling me under. I couldn't breathe. I was too far away.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go._

Then with a gasping shuddering breath, the darkness enveloped me and his name fell from my lips as I slipped away.

"Edward."

* * *

**Uh oh!**

**Okay, so the Natasha Bedingfield song is, in fact, Natasha Bedingfield's but once again we are _pretending!_**

**Links to the clothes Bella wears to Renee's funeral can be found on my profile aaaaand...**

**Review! :D**


	16. Guilty

**Let's find out what happened to Bella! Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen  
Guilty

I was having a dream. A strange one. It was one of those dreams when you know you're dreaming but no matter how hard you try you can't wake up.

It was sort of hazy and blurry and there were really bright lights flashing above me in the way that street lamps do in the dark when you look out of the window of your car. There were stranger's faces looking down at me. They sounded frantic and desperate as one man looked right into my bleary eyes, blocking out the harsh lights above.

"Isabella, can you hear me?" He called loudly, though his voice sounded like it was coming from a television in a neighbor's house. "Can you squeeze my hand Isabella? I want you to keep your eyes open for me, okay?"

Who was this man? Why was he asking me and telling me to do all these weird things?

Suddenly, everything went all blurry and fuzzy and I blinked through it, or at least, it felt like I did and I was in a different place with different people. Or maybe they were the same people in different clothes. They looked funny, all dressed in the same green onsie, they looked like big babies.

There was an annoying beeping noise somewhere nearby and a woman called over it, "We're losing them."

It went all blurry and fuzzy again. Who were they losing? Maybe I could help them find them. Yes! Maybe if I helped them find whoever they were looking for they would help me find Edward.

"We've got her back." A man said.

That was quick.

"But we've lost…"

"Doesn't matter, we saved her that's better than the alternative."

So they had found one person but not the other. For some reason that made me want to cry. It made me hurt all over that they weren't even trying to save the other person so I just stopped thinking about it. I didn't like this dream anymore and the darkness was calling to me. I willingly slipped into it and everything was quiet and still.

The annoying beeping sound was back but this time it was louder, it wasn't like the unclear fuzziness of the dream, it sounded real.

My eyes fluttered and I blinked against the light that shone down at me from the blank white ceiling. I glanced around warily without a clue where I was before I realized I was in what looked like a hospital room.

The pale green walls only made me feel sick as did the machine on which my heartbeat was beeping away and I suddenly took comfort in the annoying noise.

It took a second for me to understand why I was there before the memories came rushing back to me in one big blow. The thunderstorm, punching Jake in the face, speeding along in my truck, the tree…the crash.

I swallowed thickly and looked down at myself, trying to assess my injuries but it seemed the second I took in my apparently broken leg I felt the pain and wished I hadn't bothered to check. Not only was my leg killing me but I felt like someone was sat on my chest and every time I breathed my ribs ached like a bitch.

I sighed heavily and lifted my hand to rub my face to find my wrist and the side of my head bandaged.

God, everything hurt.

It wasn't until a loud snore startled me that I realized I wasn't alone in the room. Charlie was sat in an uncomfortable looking plastic chair by the bed and seemed to be in a very awkward position as his head lolled on his chest.

Suddenly a nurse shuffled into the room looking at something on a clipboard and Charlie jolted awake when she spoke.

"Ah, Miss Swan, you're awake."

Charlie sat bolt upright and reached for my hand quickly, "Bells," he gasped.

"Um…I'll just give you a minute." The nurse shuffled back out again.

"Dad." I rasped, clearing my throat.

"Here," he reached for the glass of water on my bedside table and helped me sip some through the straw.

"Thanks."

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged then winced when I did. "Okay. How long have I been here?"

"Uh, about ten hours or so. It's about half three in the morning."

I gasped then flinched again.

"You've had surgery and everything so, you're probably a bit sore."

Talk about an understatement. "Surgery? For what?"

"You broke your leg pretty bad. You've basically got a metal clamp holding your bones together."

"Ouch."

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair and it was only then that I noticed how old he looked. His face was pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. The grey in his hair seemed more prominent, he looked like he'd aged ten years overnight.

"What the hell were you thinking, Bella?" His voice was still quiet and it didn't sound angry or even annoyed, but it was tired and somehow that made me feel worse. I had put Charlie through so much he didn't even have the energy to be angry.

I bit my lip and winced again. I seemed to have split my lip too. How busted up was my face? Shit.

"You shouldn't have been driving over twenty in that weather and the doctor thinks you must have been going at least sixty to have gotten the injuries you have."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Why on earth did you drive back from Seattle in that weather anyway? And from what I've gathered you just left Jacob there, as well. You should have stayed until tomorrow."

"I know, I'm sorry." I felt terrible. Not only had Charlie had to deal with Renee's death but I then put him through the horror of having his only daughter wired up in a hospital bed due to a car crash that could have very nearly killed her.

Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of what Charlie would have done if he lost me and Charlie sighed heavily before standing and bending over to give me an awkward – due to my injuries – but much needed hug.

"Don't scare me like that again, okay?"

I nodded and he kissed my temple, "I love you, kid."

"I love you too, Dad."

He pulled back to sit back down and I cringed in pain when I lifted my bandaged hand to wipe at my face.

"I'm gonna go find someone who can get you pain meds or something."

"Okay, thanks."

Not long after he had left the room a doctor walked in.

"Miss Swan," he held out his hand, which I shook gingerly, "I'm Doctor Golder, you were put under my care when you were brought into the hospital."

I nodded, "You can call me Bella. So, what's the verdict? How bad am I?"

"Well, Bella," he sat down in the chair Charlie had just vacated, "Your most serious injury was your leg."

"My dad said I've got some metal thing holding my bones together?"

"That is correct. From what I've been told your leg was crushed when your vehicle hit the tree."

I grimaced.

"You've fractured some ribs," well that explained a lot, "Your wrist was only sprained. You suffered a minor hit to the head that won't cause any lasting damage but we had to stitch you up a bit and some minor cuts and bruises. We've got you on pain medication so we'll keep you as comfortable as we can while you're here."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"But," he frowned, "For some reason we can't explain, your heart very nearly gave out. You're very lucky to be alive."

I would bet all the money in the world that I knew the reason my heart almost gave out. And it wasn't a physical problem, either.

"Now, Bella," Dr. Golder took a deep breath and his voice became softer, "I'm going to ask you a question and I know this may be very difficult." He paused and I tensed becoming more anxious by the second. I didn't understand where this was going or what he was going to ask but I didn't like the sound of it.

"Bella…were you aware that you were…that you were pregnant?"

I stopped breathing. I felt sick, I wanted to cry, I wanted to laugh. My fists clenched and I flinched as pain shot through my sprained wrist.

"P-pregnant…wait, you…you said were…?" Tears filled my eyes and that painful lump formed in my throat again as I stuttered and my voice shook.

"Yes," he murmured, "The accident caused a lot of distress to your body and…it induced a miscarriage. There was nothing we could do."

He watched me with concern in his eyes as I absorbed what he was saying, as the words sunk in.

"I…how…" I shook my head, not even knowing myself what I was trying to say or ask.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

I just nodded and gave a weak, fake smile. My hands were trembling and I moved the one that had been resting on my stomach to my side as Dr. Golder patted it softly and stood quietly to leave the room, saying something about pain medication as he left. I wasn't listening.

I had been pregnant. There had been a baby inside of me. My baby, _Edward's _baby. Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

"Bella a nurse said…Bella!" Charlie rushed to my side, "Bella, why are you crying kid? What's wrong? Are you hurting?"

I hadn't even realized I was crying but once I did I couldn't seem to stop. The tears flowed freely and try as I might there was nothing I could do to stop them.

"Edward," I sobbed.

"What? Cullen? Why do you-"

"Dad, please, I need Edward. Please get Edward." I cried.

"Bella, I'm not allowing Cullen anywhere near you he-"

"I had a miscarriage!" I screamed through the sobs

"W-what?"

"Please, please, I need Edward. I need Edward, please, I need Edward."

"He got you fucking pregnant?"

His words were like a whip, cutting into my heart.

"That good for nothing low life got you-"

"Don't talk about him like that!" I yelled, gasping. "You don't know him, you don't know anything about him."

"I know he got his brother fucking killed, I'm not going to let that be you Bella."

"No! You don't know. All you know are vicious rumours and lies. You don't know anything."

"Then explain to me, Bella, I'm all ears."

"It was an accident. His brother hadn't even been born. Esme went into early labour when Carlisle wasn't there. He was scared, he panicked and for crying out loud he was just a kid. He had to drive her to the hospital, his mom was crying and screaming and he was terrified for her. They crashed because some fucking animal ran out into the road. So, don't you fucking dare accuse him and talk of things you know shit all about." I sniffed angrily.

Charlie was stunned into silence.

"So, you heard the rumour about that, do you think there's any chance at all that the others might possibly be lies, too?"

Charlie stared at me in disbelief and guilt as tears leaked from my eyes and my voice trembled with pain the next time I spoke.

"I need him, Daddy," I whispered, "Please. I need him."

"Alright," he sighed and leant to kiss my forehead, my tears and pain and fear were all his weaknesses. "You just rest, Bells. I'll get him for you. I promise."

I tried to sleep but I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was a miniature Edward crying his little heart out as he tried to reach for me but whenever I got close he was suddenly too far away for me to get to.

I gave up on sleep completely. The nurse came in to offer me pain meds while Charlie was trying to get hold of Edward but she said they would make me drowsy and I didn't want to sleep, so I refused them.

I welcomed the pain now. I deserved the pain.

I stared out of the window at the still pouring rain, which yesterday, god was it only yesterday, had been a blessing. I thought it was going to wash away the pain but it didn't. It only brought a curse. One I felt I was never going to recover from.

If only I had just waited until the rain stopped. If only I hadn't been speeding. Not five minutes sooner and I could have avoided the accident altogether. But I didn't avoid it. I smashed, head on, straight into it and killed my…

I squeezed my eyes shut tight as I fought against the sobs that threatened to engulf me.

A soft knock on the open door made me snap my eyes open to find Edward. He was here. He was stood in the doorway in wet clothes, panting slightly, his hair windswept as though he had run here.

"Bella," he breathed. I couldn't hold the tears back when I heard his voice. I reached for him desperately and he rushed to me, the door closing behind him, as he took my hand, sitting himself on the bed beside me. "Oh, Bella." He kissed my hand, caressing my cheek softly with the back of his fingers. "It's okay, everything's going to be okay."

"I'm sorry." I sobbed.

He shook his head, "No, baby, I don't care about what happened."

"I w-wasn't sure you'd c-come."

"Of course I came. Bella I didn't mean what I said at all, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, I promise you, beautiful girl." He pressed a kiss to my forehead brushing away my tears.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed again, "I h-hurt you, I'll never f-forgive myself. I was just scared but I'm not anymore. My mom, she told me not to be scared. She told me to come back to you, she said if there was only one thing I ever listened to she wanted it to be that she didn't want me to be scared to trust my heart, so I was coming back to you when…when…" I trailed off but my meaning was clear. "I was scared of losing you. I was losing her and I didn't want to lose you too, I love you so much and I just…I…"

"Shhh," he soothed, smoothing my hair, "I know, I know. I love you, too. It's okay." He sighed shaking his head. "God, Bella, you scared the shit out of me. When your dad called and told me about the crash." He swallowed thickly. "All I could think about was the last things I said to you and…the fight, the things we said, it just didn't matter anymore. It all just seemed so stupid and petty and pathetic when I found out that you almost died." He winced. "I love you, so much, Bella. Don't ever scare me like that again."

Edward pressed a kiss to my forehead, and over my face, softly against my bandaged head.

"I was so scared," I breathed, "In the truck when I crashed," I winced, "I was so scared but I was trying so hard to keep breathing. I wanted to be brave but I was just so scared I wouldn't see you again, that you wouldn't know."

"But you were brave, Bella. So, so brave. You came back to me, you're here. You're safe and you're here, with me." He rested his forehead gently to mine before taking my face carefully in his hands and kissing my lips tenderly. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

He opened his eyes, "I'm so sorry about your mom, baby."

I shook my head, "It's okay. She would have liked you, you know."

He gave a small chuckle, "You mean like how you dad likes me?"

"My dad doesn't know you."

"And your mom did?"

I nodded, "I told her all about you. She loved you, I could tell."

He smiled, "Your dad loves you, he was worried about you. Well, he called me for you so he must like you a little, right?" He teased gently.

I swallowed, his words only reminded me of why Charlie had called Edward in the first place. Of course Edward noticed.

"What's wrong baby?"

The term of endearment made me feel sick and that thought made me cry.

"Bella! What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

I shook my head then ripped my hand from his to cover my mouth as I sat bolt upright, pain shooting through me at the movement. Edward suddenly grabbed a disposable bowl that was by my bedside and held it for me as I was sick, wrapping his arm around me.

"It's okay," he murmured soothingly to me, moving my hair out of the way and rubbing my back gently. "It's okay."

I whimpered in pain just as a nurse rushed in. She took the bowl from Edward who was frantic with worry.

"Can't you give her some pain medication or something? She's hurting." He asked desperately while holding me close, smoothing my hair.

The nurse handed me some mouthwash which Edward helped put to my lips, his hand holding my own trembling one. "Miss Swan insists she doesn't want any." She huffed before leaving the room.

Edward helped me lean back against the pillows, his expression anxious and concerned. "Why don't you want any pain meds?" He asked, rubbing my hip whilst holding my hand in his other.

"I don't want to sleep." My voice was but a quivering whisper. I was going to have to tell him. I was going to have to tell him I killed our…our baby.

"Why not?" He asked softly, caressing my cheek with his fingers. "You should sleep, baby, you need your rest."

I shuddered. "I…I need…" I swallowed, "I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Edward murmured, his beautiful emerald eyes searching mine, showing nothing but concern and love for me. I looked away. I couldn't look into those eyes and tell him what I had done.

"I…" I sniffed, the tears leaking, "E-Edward I…I…I was p-pregnant." I winced when I felt the hand that had been softly grazing against my jaw, freeze. My hands trembled and I couldn't help the broken sob that escaped me. "I h-had no idea, I swear. I never w-would…I never would have been driving that f-fast, in that w-weather. I…I…oh god, I'm s-so sorry. I'm so sorry, p-please, I'm sorry." My voice broke as the sobs wracked through my body, shaking me and making me whimper in pain.

"Oh god, Bella," he breathed.

"I…I k-killed our b-baby. I'm so sorry Edward, I'm so sorry."

"No! Oh, fuck, no, Bella, no, no, no." As carefully and as gently as he could with all the tenderness in the world he pulled me into his arms and held me as I sobbed into his neck. "Bella, this was not your fault. Shit, you had no idea, Bella. You didn't know. It was an accident, b-" He broke off with a gasp before murmuring quietly, "It was an accident."

I shook my head, clutching him to me tightly with what little strength I had, "I killed our baby." I muttered over and over again as though in some sort of trance that I couldn't get out of. I was in disbelief. I was in shock. I was overcome with such a guilt I had never felt in my life. I felt sick. I never thought I could hurt as bad as I did when I left Edward but this was just as bad, if not worse. "I killed our baby. Oh god. Oh god I killed our baby."

"No." Edward said pulling away from me a little. He took my face into his hands, pressing his forehead to mine. "Look at me, Bella._ Look_ at me." It took all the strength in me to look into those eyes. I had killed his baby. Edward was looking at me with a pained yet determined expression as he spoke with a gentle fierceness that I had never heard before. "You did _not_ kill our baby, Bella. This is _not_ your fault. This was an accident, a horrible, horrible accident and I never, _never_ want to hear you blame yourself again."

I was about to protest when he shook his head and when he spoke again his voice was more imploring and intense than it had been before. "Bella, listen to me. I need you to listen to me, are you hearing me, Bella?" I sniffed, nodding my head with silent sobs. "You are not to blame for this." Tears were filling his eyes and I knew they were not only for our baby but also for me, it killed him to know that I was aching over this horrifying agony called guilt – he knew the feeling all too well – and he knew I didn't believe him. I couldn't. It was all my fault. He gave a pained sigh before his eyes began searching, looking for an answer to some internal debate he was having before he took a deep breath and said the only words he knew could help me.

"Bella, you are as much at fault for this as I am for my brother's death. Okay?"

I stared, trembling in his arms, his fingers brushing away my tears and caressing my cheeks as his own tears shone in his eyes. "I don't blame myself anymore, Bella, because of you, because of this. There is no way you, pure, sweet, innocent, you, could ever be called a murderer. Could ever _be_ a murderer. And that's how I know _I'm_ not one. It was an accident, Bella. A horrible, heartbreaking accident, then _and_ now. So don't ever blame yourself or call yourself a murderer, because if you do, you're only calling me one too. Do you blame me for what happened to Collin?"

I shook my head furiously through my sobs.

"Then its impossible to blame yourself for this. If either of us had known what was going to happen we never would have let it. It was an accident. It wasn't our fault."

I searched his wet, determined and pleading eyes and found nothing but honesty and truth. He honestly didn't blame himself for what happened anymore. And as he said, I couldn't call myself a murderer because of an accident like this without calling him a murderer for the accident that killed his brother.

I wrapped my arms as best I could around his waist and he held me close and tight.

They were both just that. Horrible accidents that tore us apart inside.

But, finally back in Edward's arms, I knew we were going to be okay. I knew we were going to get through this, because I had Edward. He had me.

I took in a deep, soothing, lungful of fresh air filled with Edward's scent and I felt him do the same.

I was back in the arms of the man I belonged and together we would get through this.

Because now, we could breathe easy.

* * *

**Oh no! Well, what did you think of _that?_**

**Emotional stuff. **

**Review!**


	17. Closure

**Okay, just to let you know, I cried as I was writing this, so be warned and grab some tissues :) Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen  
Closure

I was in the hospital for the next two weeks due to my injured leg. I had to have physiotherapy – walking with a metal clamp was harder than I thought it would be and most of the time I hobbled around on crutches.

Edward would have stayed by my side 24/7 if he could but not only did the hospital policy not allow him to, but neither did my father.

Despite becoming aware of the truth about Edward and in turn realizing that many other rumours were probably also unjust accusations, it didn't mean my father approved of him instantly. I think it was because of the state he had found me in after I had found out about the miscarriage. He wasn't going to be getting over that one any time soon.

And to be honest, neither was I.

To say I was struggling was putting it lightly. I was trying my best to cope with everything but I often found myself crying myself to sleep if I had been avoiding the pain and holding it in all day for the sake of those around me.

I didn't want to upset Charlie further – he had no idea what to do or say to me about the topic so he tended to avoid it all together and I think seeing me apparently dealing with the news fine made him feel better.

Nor did I want to hurt Edward. I no longer blamed myself…much, but I knew seeing me cry about it would make Edward think that I still felt guilty.

I think he knew though. Even though he wasn't allowed to stay past visiting hours and therefore had to leave long before I went to sleep, I still think he somehow knew about my nightly ritual. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me.

He said nothing. We had spoken very little about it since the night I told him but sometimes we would just share a look, or a hug or a kiss and we knew we were having the same thoughts. We knew we were sharing the same pain and though neither of us wanted the other to be hurting, it made it easier to know that we weren't in this alone.

It was on one of these occasions that the topic of Edward's father came up.

I had been gazing out of the window, the accident on my mind – which usually happened when it rained, inevitable really whilst living in Forks – when I felt Edward take my hand in his own.

I glanced over to him where he sat on the uncomfortable, plastic chair and he gave a small, sad smile. I squeezed his hand and he brought them up to his lips to kiss my own.

My mind being on the crash, something occurred to me that I had never thought of before. "Didn't you hear the crash?" I wondered. "I was right down your road and Esme was the one who called the ambulance." This was true. Esme had been to visit me herself with Edward once and she had told me how, over the thunder, she had heard the accident and rushed out to see what it was. She had been distraught when she recognized my truck and saw the paramedics pulling me out of the wreck on a stretcher.

"I wasn't at home," Edward murmured. "After you left for Seattle I didn't spend a lot of time at home. I never wanted to go home."

"Where did you go?"

"The meadow, mostly. Sometimes the karaoke bar." His thumb rubbed circles into the back of my hand.

I frowned, "Why didn't you want to go home?"

He looked at me and his eyes were worried. "Edward?" I asked in concern.

"Don't get upset, okay?"

I nodded and he sighed. "I…I was scared of going home without knowing I had you to come back to when things with my dad got bad. He hasn't spoken to me since my birthday and I was scared of anything he _might_ say to me while you weren't there for me to go to be myself with. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say and so I just…never went home if I could help it."

Despite my promise of not getting upset, his words still brought tears to my eyes and I bit my lip. "I'm sorry," I breathed. "I should have been there for you."

He shook his head, "Bella, your mother was sick. She needed you more than I did. Even if we hadn't argued like we did you still would have gone to Seattle. It wouldn't have made a difference."

He kissed my forehead after I nodded but that only made me feel horrible. I should have been the one comforting him. He had been here for me when I needed him so now it was my turn.

"Edward," I said softly, "I think you should tell Carlisle how you feel."

He stared before shaking his head, "It doesn't matter how I feel, Bella. In his eyes he has every right to be angry with me and, honestly, I really can't blame him." I was about to protest before he interrupted, "I don't mean that in the way that _I'm_ still blaming myself. I don't, not anymore. Just, in the way that I sort of know now. I understand."

I frowned in confusion.

He watched me warily before bringing himself to say, "Bella, ever since I found out that you had been pregnant," he began softly, "I've understood so much more clearly what Carlisle felt when Collin died. If we hadn't lost the…the baby…I think I would have killed anyone who had caused it harm in any way."

I swallowed thickly and his eyes squeezed shut tightly in pain as we gripped each other's hand.

He opened his eyes, "I never even knew our baby and yet I feel so strongly for it that I _know_ I would have killed for him or her."

I lifted his chin and brought his face to mine to press a tender kiss to his lips. He sighed and rested his forehead to mine, taking comfort in our closeness.

"If I feel that strongly for someone I never knew, I can just imagine what Carlisle felt for Collin."

I caressed his cheek. "That may be, Edward." I murmured, "But you're his son too. He knew you better. He should have been as terrified for you as he was for Esme and Collin. And he never, _never _should have blamed you for what happened."

"Maybe he was scared for me but…" He trailed off and the confliction and confusion darkening his eyes pained me and I wanted it to stop hurting him. He looked so lost, just like he had done in the meadow when he had confessed to me his secret, and I wanted desperately for that look to go away and to never return. But there was only one way that could happen and this time, I knew it was something he had to do for himself.

"Perhaps that's something you should ask Carlisle." I whispered.

Emerald bored into brown.

"I'll be here this time." I promised, "I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here for you, after."

He kissed me softly, "Thank you," he breathed.

That was the last day I spent in the hospital. In another two weeks I would return to get the cast off my leg but aside from that, I was free.

Or so I thought.

Edward wheeled me out of the entrance of the hospital in the bloody wheelchair as I sat, grumbling and complaining.

"This is ridiculous."

Edward chuckled, "Hospital policy, love." He had taken to calling me that recently; the other term of endearment only made us both wince. Maybe in time he could call me that again, but for now, he was testing out new ones.

"I feel stupid," I muttered.

"Well, you look anything but, sweet cheeks."

I giggled, "Definitely not that one."

"But it made you laugh," he bent down to kiss my neck, wrapping his arms around me as we waited for Charlie to bring the cruiser round.

Sure, he was still wary of Edward but Charlie knew that I needed him. I think he also saw that Edward was the only one who could make me smile at the moment and I don't think he was willing to give that up.

Rain was pattering on the roof and so when the cruiser pulled up outside, Edward lifted me into his arms, bridal style, while Charlie rushed out to grab my crutches.

Edward helped settle me into the backseat and climbed in beside me, shutting the door behind him. It was only when Charlie got in the front and started the engine that I panicked.

"Bella?" Edward asked when I grabbed his arm, my nails digging into his skin, through his jacket and shirt.

My heart was racing; my breath was coming in short, bursting gasps and my eyes watered.

"Bella, what is it? What's wrong?" Charlie asked from the front.

_Window wipers working furiously against the pounding rain flashed in front of my eyes. _

_Lightning sparked._

_A tree fell._

_The crunch of metal on wood._

I squeezed my eyes tight and I felt Edward pull me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest, breathing in his scent through my gasping and frantic breaths.

"She's having a panic attack." I heard him murmur to Charlie and felt the rumble of his voice vibrate in his chest. "I think it's being in the car. She's scared. Just get home as quickly as you can."

I shivered and trembled in Edward's embrace and his arms tightened around me.

"It's okay, sweetheart," he soothed, smoothing my hair and whispered in my ear. "We're taking you home, Bella. You can finally sleep in your own bed, no more complaining." He was trying to distract me. It wasn't working.

_Glass smashing._

_Shooting, blinding pain._

Then Edward's humming reached my ears. Through the crunching metal, smashing glass and my own frantic heartbeat, I could detect the sweet tune of a song.

A song I knew. A song that meant something. A song we had danced to. Our song.

But the tapping of the rain of the roof of the cruiser was like a shot ringing through my ears and only made me gasp and panic and clutch at Edward as though he were my lifeline.

"You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed, sing like a bird, dizzy in my head. Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night."

The rain was fading away to the back of my mind. The words sounded in my head. I could see us. I could see Edward and I dancing at the karaoke bar. I could see the smiles on our faces as he twirled me around. I could see the love shining in his eyes as he gazed down at me.

I took a deep breath, breathing in his scent.

"You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe, shine like gold, buzz like a bee. Just the thought of you can drive me wild. Oh, you make me smile."

In Edward's warm, protective embrace, with his voice soothingly singing in my ear and his scent surrounding me like a blanket, I relaxed and breathed easy. But I did not let go of my death grip on him, nor did I open my eyes until I felt the car stop, I felt his arms cradling me and carrying me out of the rain into a warm dry house and laying me on something soft.

I was in my room, Edward sitting on the bed beside me, leaning over me because I still had his jacket clutched tightly in my hands.

Edward caressed my face, pressed small sweet kisses over my forehead, eyelids, cheeks and lips, smoothing my hair.

"I…I'm sorry," I stuttered breathlessly.

"Shhh," he whispered, "Don't apologise, it's okay. You're safe now."

With Edward keeping watch over me, and a frown on my face at my new revelation, I fell into a restless sleep.

Nightmares invaded. Nightmares of pounding rain, washing a little Edward from my view, his scream ringing in my ears.

Then something warm surrounded me, a murmur of "I love you" a whisper of "You're safe" a kiss of "Everything's okay." And I was plunged into a warm comforting blackness where I dreamt no more, but knew, no harm could come to me.

It had been a hard week. The discovering of my newfound phobia of driving in rain was causing a bit of a problem. Driving in rain was unavoidable in Forks so I hadn't been anywhere all week besides the house and the hospital for check ups. Edward had to come with me to the hospital, while Charlie drove the cruiser, to keep me as calm as possible. But even then, panic attacks occurred.

Being restricted to the house wasn't fun, but it was more comforting than having to drive anywhere so I didn't complain.

Neither did Edward.

He had gained Charlie's respect, probably due to the lengths he took to keep me safe and looked after, and my father had very little qualms with Edward visiting me.

Though what Charlie didn't know was that Edward had been climbing through my bedroom window three nights in a row now.

After the second day of seeing me looking like a zombie due to lack of sleep thanks to the now continuous nightmares, he insisted on staying with me. He kept the nightmares away. I didn't know how he did it. Maybe it was because my subconscious was aware of his presence. Maybe it was just having his arms around me that made me feel safe. But whatever it was, it was keeping at least some of the nightmares away.

But the one of the little boy, the miniature Edward, being washed away by the rain and his terrified scream…I had that one every night. Edward or no Edward. It was his scream that scared me most of all and what hurt me the most. Because it wasn't just the scream, it was _what_ he screamed.

I had told Edward about it one night, after him waking me from the nightmare. He refused to just ignore it and put it out of his mind,

"Bella, when you're having a nightmare that I literally have to shake you awake from just so you'll stop crying, I wanna know what's making you so upset and scared." He whispered furiously.

I sighed and told him. The tears leaked from my eyes, "He just screams…he j-just screams 'm-mommy'."

Edward said nothing after that but pulled me into a tight embrace that he didn't let me out of the rest of the night.

I took a deep, shaky breath as I glanced at my clock on the bedside table. Edward had bought me a new one the other day saying, "Now you don't have any excuse to be late or blame my car." Making me laugh a rare giggle.

It was four in the afternoon. Edward should have been here half an hour ago and I was getting worried. School finished at three, he usually drove home to drop off his bag before coming to see me.

_"I'll hold your body in my hands_  
_Be as gentle as I can_  
_But for now you're a scan of my unmade plans_  
_A small bump_  
_Eight months you're brought to life._"

I strummed the guitar in my hands and sang the words I'd been turning over in my head all day as I stared out of the window and into the rain.

_"I'll whisper quietly, give you nothing but truth._  
_If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you."_

A small knock on my bedroom door made me look up to see Edward, leaning against the doorframe, watching me.

"Hey, you." I murmured.

He slowly came to me, leaning down to press a long, meaningful yet soft kiss to my lips. "Hey," he breathed, "What was that you were singing?" He sat on the floor beside me where I was leaning with my back against my bed.

I gave a half shrug, "The words were in my head all day."

He played with a strand of my hair before tucking it behind my ear, "About the baby." He murmured softly.

It wasn't a question but I nodded anyway. He kissed my temple. I sat my guitar down and leaned into Edward as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I rested my head on his shoulder after kissing his chest over his heart.

"I just spoke to Carlisle." He murmured.

"You did?"

He nodded, "That's why I was late. I'm sorry."

I shook my head brushing away his apology, "What happened? What did you say?"

"Well, he was there when I got home to drop my bag off."

_Edward rushed into the house and raced up the stairs, eager to drop off his things. The sooner he had done so the sooner he would get to Bella. He had been missing her all day, worrying about her._

_She hadn't been sleeping well at all, though he knew her nightmares had eased up, one occurring nightmare she had told him about worried him. _

_He knew that she no longer felt guilty, though there would always be that little voice in the back of her mind wondering what would have happened if she had done things differently – it was the same for him. But this nightmare along with her new phobia of driving in the rain concerned him and though he hadn't been brave enough to bring the subject of it up with Bella yet, he had been wondering if she should talk to someone about it. Like a psychologist someone. _

_He made to head downstairs when a noise came from the study that made him stop. His dad was home._

_Edward had been thinking a lot about what Bella had said. Maybe it was exactly what he needed. Maybe he just needed to talk to Carlisle and get some answers, or at the very least some closure. Maybe that was what Bella needed. _

_Slowly and hesitantly, he made his way to the study and pushed open the already ajar door. Carlisle was sat at his desk, shuffling papers around looking for something. _

_Edward cleared his throat and Carlisle looked up and stared. Edward knew he was shocked, not once since the accident had he approached his father; it had been a long time. _

"_What do you want?" Was Carlisle's cold greeting. _

"_I…I want to talk to you." Edward took a deep breath. He could do this, and if it went terribly wrong he had Bella. Bella would be there for him, that much he was certain of. _

"_About what?"_

"_About the…the a-accident." He stumbled over his words and shoved his hands in his pockets so he wouldn't wring them in anxiety._

_Carlisle looked up sharply at him, his eyes cold and hard. "Accident? Why on earth do you think I would want to talk about Isabella Swan with you?"_

_Edward stood still for a moment, confused before saying, "Not Bella's accident. I mean Collin's accident."_

"_That was no accident, Edward."_

"_Yes it was."_

"_Don't argue with me about this Edward."_

_Edward hated the way his father said his name. It made him hate it. _

"_It wasn't done on purpose which makes it an accident." Edward's voice had risen, "Now you're going to listen to me. You're going to stand here and listen to what I have to say."_

_Carlisle said nothing, just stared at Edward coldly. _

"_You have no idea what I have gone through." Carlisle was about to protest but Edward wasn't having any of it, "No! I've listened to you, I've heard all about what you have gone through and now it's my turn. I have been to hell and back. The guilt I held over what happened was unbearable. You have no idea how hard it is having to live with yourself, stuck in your own mind, when you hate yourself as much as I did."_

_Carlisle swallowed. _

"_You weren't the only one hurt by that day. It killed me. I relived it every night. There wasn't a day that went by when I didn't think about it, about what I had done. Not only had I lost a brother and blamed myself for it but my own father, the person who's meant to love me no matter what, blamed me too."_

_Tears sprung up in his eyes but he continued._

"_You have no idea what it feels like. No fucking idea. Sure, you lost your son. I lost my brother and on top of that my dad hated me. _Hated_ me. You have no idea how much that hurt. I was a kid. I was just a kid who was too scared to go home because I was scared of the pain I would feel when you looked at me. So I stopped coming home. I went out and got drunk, I went to bars and parties. I got myself expelled from school in the hope that you would send me away._

_"Do you want to know why, Dad? Do you want to know why your sixteen year old son turned into a complete little prick?"_

_Carlisle said nothing but watched Edward with some emotion in his eyes that Edward couldn't make out._

"_I acted like an asshole because that way I would understand why you hated me. That way I would understand why you didn't want me."_

_Edward sniffed and wiped angrily at his wet eyes. _

"_Did you know Bella miscarried?"_

_Carlisle gaped. _

"_Yeah, Bella was pregnant with my baby, the accident induced a miscarriage." Edward swallowed, "Bella told me to come and talk to you but I didn't want to. I wasn't going to. Because after I found out that she had been pregnant I realized I would have killed anyone who even thought about harming that baby if it had lived. I could understand the pain you went through when Collin died. _

"_But I did all those horrible things, I played up in school, I went to parties and clubs and drank and snuck out and was a dick to you and mom because that way I could understand why you wouldn't kill for me the way you wanted to kill for Collin. The way you _would_ kill for Katie. That way there was a reason._

"_I did all those stupid things because that way I could understand why my dad didn't love me anymore."_

_Tears were falling freely down Edward's face and he bit his lip to keep the sobs at bay. _

"_You know, I never blamed you for blaming me. Not once. But…I was terrified of you. I was terrified of what you could do. It killed me every time you took Katie away from me, to protect her from me. But I let you do it. I let you do it because I was scared out of my skin that if I put up a fight you would tell her I killed Collin, that you would make her hate me too._

"_I never blamed you for blaming me but I could only take so much and Katie was not part of it. She was all I had and it tore me apart ever time you tried to protect her from me but I wouldn't be able to deal with it if she hated me as well."_

_Carlisle spoke for the first time since Edward had started and his voice was hoarse with emotion, "You had your mom, too."_

_Edward shook his head, "No I didn't. She didn't blame me for Collin but all the while I was trying to make sense of you hating me by doing all that dumb shit it was pushing her further away. Katie was all I had, but you would take her away too._

"_I may not have understood why you hated me but I understood why you blamed me. It wasn't until I met Bella and told her everything, that I started to accept the fact that it wasn't my fault." Edward shook his head and gave a hollow laugh. "You know there were times when I thought you'd forgiven me." He shook his head as though scolding his own stupidness. _

_He gave a smile remembering, "You would say something to me that wasn't horrible, or you'd actually look me in the eyes and we'd share a moment when mom did something crazy or you looked like you were about to hug me…" He trailed off, losing his smile, his eyes becoming sad. "But then you would go back to ignoring me or just turn away from me and leave the room and it hurt as much as it did the first time, if not more. It was like a punch to the gut and it always managed to throw me. _

"_And I fell for it every time. I was so fucking stupid. So fucking _stupid_. I was just a stupid needy little kid that wanted his dad." He shook his head through the tears and gave another hollow laugh. "Don't worry _dad_," he spat, "I've grown up now. I'm not stupid and naïve anymore. I may not understand why you hate me but I know that you always will."_

_Edward made to leave the room and Carlisle said, "Edward, wait."_

_Edward turned to face him. "Why?" He asked. When Carlisle didn't answer he lost it, "WHY? WHY DID YOU HATE ME? I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES I'VE WISHED IT WAS ME THAT HAD DIED AND NOT HIM. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT AND I WAS A KID AND I WAS SCARED. I WAS SO FUCKING SCARED."_

_He broke down in sobs, sliding down the wall, bringing his legs up to his chest, covering his face with his arms as he cried. "I was so, so scared. I didn't know what to do, you weren't there, I tried to call you but you wouldn't answer your phone. I was so scared, I just needed you, I needed you and you weren't there. I was so scared."_

_Edward didn't know when Carlisle had moved but he suddenly felt the arms of his father wrapped around him in a tight embrace for the first time in years. _

"_I'm sorry," he heard Carlisle's throaty voice say through his own tears, "I know that apologizing won't change anything but I am. I am sorry, Edward. So sorry, my son." Carlisle rocked his little boy in his arms, "I know you'll never forgive me, but I'm so sorry."_

"Oh my god," I gasped wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tight. "Are you okay?"

He pulled me tighter to him and nodded, "I'm fine."

I took his face in my hands and kissed him all over, he smiled. "Are you going to forgive him?" I asked softly.

He sighed, taking my hands in his own. "I don't know. We're going to talk about stuff when I get home. I told him I just wanted to see you."

I nodded and he continued, "Even after everything he's done I just…" he shook his head, "I don't want to go without a dad for even longer. I haven't had one for the last two years and…I hated it."

I pulled him down and maneuvered him so his head was in my lap and I stroked his hair. "How do you feel now? After letting everything out, I mean."

"I feel…relaxed." He closed his eyes, "I feel content. I feel…I feel like you should do it too."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, maybe if you spoke to someone like I did then perhaps you could get over your phobia?"

I nodded slowly.

"Or maybe you just need closure. I mean, that feels good too, that the whole thing with my dad is over, we can move on from it."

I nodded again.

Edward's eyes opened and he sat up, "Maybe we could get that. The closure, with your song."

I frowned in confusion, "What song?"

"The song you just sang for the baby." He murmured, "We could do it together."

"Really?" I breathed, tears filling my eyes, "Together?"

Edward nodded, kissing me softly, resting his forehead to mine, "Together."

* * *

**Aww, so there you have it.**

**I know, the Ed Sheeran song belongs to Ed Sheeran but I've changed it a little and pretending they are Bella's words for the sake of the story.**

**Review!**


	18. Moving On

**Okay, I know it took a while but I really wasn't feeling "IT" whatever "IT" is and I didn't want to write just anything in that frame of mind because I really wasn't into the story at that time and it would have just turned out rubbish. So sorry about that.**

**This is also the last chapter but there is an epilogue to come which I have nearly finished! Enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen  
Moving On

I wanted things to go back to the way they were. Not before I met Edward, but before the accident. I wanted the closure Edward spoke of so badly so until that time, I tried to go about things as I normally would have if the accident hadn't happened.

But it was difficult. Not only was I anticipating the stares and whispers when I went back to school or to the grocery store – I was imagining the looks of sympathy as people like Jessica and Lauren hissed behind they hands about my late mother and car wreck, they had no idea about the baby and I wanted to keep it that way – but actually getting to the store and to school was going to pose a bit of a problem due to the rain and panic attacks.

So it was with great worry and fear that I looked out of my bedroom window two weeks later for my first day back at school.

Charlie would, of course, be driving me in the cruiser, and I couldn't bare his anxious glances in my direction as we sat in at the kitchen table, him eating his fry up and me forcing myself to swallow down the much-unwanted cereal, which had the very likely possibility of being brought back up again.

"You don't have to do this, Bells," he said softly when I looked up only to catch his eyes on me again. "You can wait, you can take all the time you need until you're ready."

I was about to answer when there was a knock on the door.

I frowned in confusion, wondering who on earth that could be. It was too early for visitors and definitely too early for Edward to be here, we wouldn't have to leave for school for another half an hour, as he insisted on coming with us. But he would never know how grateful I was, without him I assumed the panic attacks would have been worse and neither of us were willing to find out if I was right.

I hopped up from my chair, telling Charlie I would get the door, whilst reveling slightly in my new found freedom of walking without a cast.

But as I swung the door open I was proved wrong, it _was_ Edward, stood on the welcome mat, looking a little damp from the rain – sans car.

"You're early," I murmured as I reached my arms up to wrap them around his neck.

He folded me into an embrace and placed a kiss on my cheek before looking at Charlie over my shoulder who had followed me out of the kitchen anyway. He took one arm from around my waist and glanced at his wrist.

"Not by my watch," he said with a smile.

My brows furrowed, "I don't understand."

"Well, you do want to get to school on time right?"

"Yes," I said slowly.

"Then we should be leaving in about five minutes, if you're ready. We'll be late if we don't start walking then."

Tears filled my eyes as realization dawned on me.

"I'm here to escort you to school," he smiled gently taking me in his arms again, "Don't worry, I've got an umbrella."

He had known. He had known how scared I was of driving to school today so he abandoned his car completely, got up god knows how early so he could walk all the way here in the rain to pick me up to walk me to school.

I didn't know what to say. I was overwhelmed so completely by him, so I chose instead to say nothing at all and to simply hold myself as tightly to him as I could, trying to show him everything I felt in a kiss and a hug.

He understood as he caressed the single tear from my cheek and pulled me close.

School was just as I expected it to be. People stared and whispered and gave me smiles of pity. Some people, like Angela and Ben actually came up and spoke to me about Renee and the accident, they gave their condolences for my loss and told me how they were glad I was feeling better. I much preferred their response to the news than the others.

But it was okay, because I had Edward by my side.

Oh yeah, that was another big topic of conversation, but I couldn't have cared less. At least they were now gossiping about something that made me happy.

To my complete and utter relief my friends had nothing bad to say about the new addition to our group, they accepted Edward completely, trusting my judgment. And to my surprise Alice was asking for all the details of our relationship and how it had happened, squealing like the giddy excitable girl she was rather than being angry with me and questioning the value of our friendship and what it meant to me.

I had walked into the cafeteria at lunch, staying close to Edward as he guided me gently with his hand on the small of back when I heard a squeal of my name to the left of me.

I saw Alice jump up from her seat at the table where the rest of my friend's were and she and Rose rushed to me throwing their arms around me.

"I'm so sorry about Renee," they had whispered and I hugged them back tight. I had missed these guys.

Alice took my hand and dragged me to the table and I quickly grasped Edward's to keep him with me. He squeezed my hand letting me know everything was okay, that he wasn't going anywhere.

As it turned out, he Jasper and Emmett all got along like a house on fire and Alice was soon planning for all of us to have a day out somewhere.

"Like, I don't know…the mall!" She gasped clapping her hands together.

"No Alice, we are not carrying your bags." Emmett grumbled.

"I don't mind." Edward shrugged.

"See Emmett," Alice said pointing at Edward, "This is what is called a gentleman, he's a _real_ man." And she ruffled Edward's hair who have me a shocked look, I smirked.

When the bell rang signaling the end of lunch Edward stood, grabbing my bag and took my hand to help me up. The girls gaped and the guys groaned.

Rose slapped Emmett's arm, "Why the hell don't you do that for me?"

I mock whispered behind my hand to the girls, "He opens car doors too."

"Dammit you have him well trained." Rose sighed.

"Nah," I shrugged, looking up at Edward fondly as he rolled his eyes but grinned, "He's just a natural."

"Boys, you better buck up or else we're off to find ourselves one of those." Alice jerked her thumb in Edward's direction and Emmett dropped his head to the table, banging it repeatedly against the wood while Jasper slapped his palm to his forehead.

It was a good day.

For a while I even forgot to think about the accident and…everything else. But it all came rushing back to me that evening after Edward had left and I had nothing to occupy my mind with, having received no homework from any of my teachers and having already prepared, cooked and eaten dinner.

The next afternoon I found myself sat beside Edward on his piano stool as he played with the keys softly.

He had brought me to his house after school rather than walking me back home.

"I've already spoken to Charlie," he told me as we stumbled up his driveway, the gravel crunching beneath our feet. "He said you could stay the night, after my mother reassured him we would be sleeping in separate rooms of course."

Then he surprised me yet again when I spotted my guitar leaning against his piano, "I asked your dad to drop it off," Edward murmured as he took my hand and led me to sit next to him at his piano. "I wanted to show you something."

He played a soft and sweet tune that made my eyes water and when he began to sing in the beautiful velvety smooth yet husky voice of his, I knew what was coming.

"You were just a small bump unborn,  
In eight months you're brought to life.  
You might be left with my hair but you'll have your mother's eyes.  
I'll hold your body in my hands, be as gentle as I can,  
But for now you're a scan of my unmade plans.  
Small bump, eight months you're brought to life."

I refused to let the tears fall as I picked up my guitar and began to strum a harmonic tune in time with that of his piano. I sang.

"I'll whisper quietly, give you nothing but truth.  
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you."

As I trailed off Edward began again.

"You are my one, and only.  
You can wrap you're finger round my thumb, and hold me tight.  
You are my one and only.  
You can wrap you're fingers round my thumb, and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright.

You're just a small bump unknown, you'll grow into your skin.  
With a smile like hers," He glanced over to me, raw emotion shining through his eyes, "And a dimple beneath your chin.  
Fingernails the size if a half grain of rice.  
And eyelids closed to be soon opened wide a small bump,  
In eight months you'll open your eyes."

I took over, closing my eyes as I picked the strings of my guitar and sang again, willing my voice not to shake. And it didn't, the words were giving me power and strength, despite the sorrow they held.

"And I'll hold you tightly, and tell you nothing but truth.  
If you're not inside me, I'll put my future in you."

I opened my eyes and they locked with Edward's as his fingers played the keys, mine played the strings and his voice joined mine, and we sang as one.

"You are my one and only.  
And you can wrap your finger round my thumb and hold me tight.  
You are my one and only.  
And you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright."

I leaned into him, our shoulders touching, our arms grazing each others as he swallowed and I sang.

"And you can lie with me, with your tiny feet, when you're half asleep I'll leave you be.  
Right in front of me for a couple weeks  
So I can keep you safe."

Edward took a deep breath and sang with me.

"'Cause you are my one, and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
You are my one, and only.  
You can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight.  
And you'll be alright."

We slowed our playing and it became quieter and Edward's soft voice sounded around the still room.

"'Cause you were just a small bump unborn, a single month then torn from life."

A single note rang throughout the room before he continued.

"Maybe you were needed up there, but we're still unaware as why."

Without removing my eyes from his I laid the guitar at my feet and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me gently to him by my waist so I was straddling him, my face buried in his neck.

And we cried.

We cried for our baby. We cried for the accident. We cried for each other. And we cried because we had found the closure we were so desperately looking for.

It was over.

We were free. Never, ever would we forget our baby, ever. It would always be a massive part of our lives. But we were free to move on and no longer dwell on it, we were now free to live out lives fearlessly and without caution now that we had one another once again without any guilt or pain or regret hanging over us.

And somehow I knew. I knew I wouldn't be plagued by nightmares tonight and I knew tomorrow morning, Edward would drive me to school and I would be at peace as I gazed out of the window into the rain.

After sharing a kiss I moved from Edward's lap to sit beside him again and I picked up my guitar.

Edward smiled at me and I smiled back. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding between us. We both knew and felt what had just happened and we both knew and felt that it was time to move on.

He chuckled as he heard the lyrics come out of my mouth and moved to play and sing along with me.

"Free, like a river raging  
Strong, if the wind I'm facing.  
Chasing dreams and racing fathered time.  
Deep like the grandest canyon,  
Wild like an untamed stallion.  
If you can't see my heart you must be blind  
You can knock me down and watch me bleed  
But you can't keep no chains on me.

I was born free!  
I was born free  
I was born free, born free."

Our laughing and singing and playing attracted some attention and soon Katie was in the room with us and we chuckled and sang as she danced around, giggling.

It wasn't until we had finished that song and Edward stood to dance with Katie and swing her around as I sang Fearless by Taylor Swift that Esme had soon joined us too.

Edward sat beside me and started to play a tune I knew only too well as Esme took Katie in her arms and spun her round.

"You make me dance like a fool  
Forget how to breathe  
Shine like gold  
Buzz like a bee  
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

Oh, you make me smile  
Oh, you make me smile  
Oh, you make me smile."

Edward pressed a kiss to my nose when we suddenly heard clapping from the doorway and jumped.

I looked round to see Carlisle stood with a man I didn't know, leaning against the doorway, looking at us, seemingly stunned.

"Uncle Eleazar, I didn't know you were coming." Edward said.

Edward's uncle brushed away Edward's declaration and said, "Edward, I didn't know you could sing and play like that."

Edward smiled and shrugged modestly and I rolled my eyes and turned to Eleazar. "Don't listen to him," I said, "He's absolutely rubbish at dancing but he's amazing at singing and playing the piano."

Edward gave me playful shove before Eleazar smiled, "You young lady aren't giving _yourself _enough credit, you have a voice unlike any other."

I blushed while Edward explained, "Eleazar works in the music industry."

"Yes I do and never in my life have I heard a sound as amazing as yours." He indicated to Edward and I. "How long have you been singing?" He asked me.

I shrugged, "Since I was little."

"So you had singing lessons?"

I shook my head, "No, none."

"None?" Eleazar gasped. "But you've had guitar lessons?"

"A few when I was a kid." I said, "But I didn't really like the guy who taught me so I just got the basics from him then sort of taught myself."

"Can you read notes?"

I shook my head, "I play by ear."

Eleazar gaped. A mix of emotions and expressions were playing on his face and he seemed to debate something, thinking it over in his head before he moved closer to Edward and I, pulling something out of his pocket.

It was his wallet, he took a card from it and handed it to me, "This is the card of the company I work for," he explained. "I'm going to make a few phone calls and I want you at the studio this Saturday coming. Both of you. The address is on the card."

I frowned in confusion, sharing a bewildered look with Edward before turning back to his uncle.

Eleazar smiled, "I'd like the two of you to sing for some of the people, some very important people. Without a doubt I reckon they'd sign you."

I gaped at him and I heard Edward, Esme and Carlisle gasp. Katie huffed and crossed her arms not understanding what was going on nor was she bothered by it but was definitely grumpy at having no more music to dance to.

"You gotta be kidding me?" I stared.

Eleazar simply smiled again, "I assure you, honey, I take my job very seriously." He turned to Carlisle, "I trust you'd let my nephew and his friend come to the studio?"

Carlisle's eyes widened looking from Edward, to me, to Eleazar and back again, "Well," he struggled before watching Edward carefully and saying, "If Edward and Bella are happy to do so then I have no objection."

Edward beamed and looked down at me only to find my own grin plastered over my face.

I couldn't believe this. It felt like a lifetime ago that Jake and I were sat in my room joking about my becoming a big singer and here I was now, sitting next to the love of my life with the chance to fulfill the dream I'd had since I was a kid. Not only was this really happening but I also got to share it all with Edward.

With his emerald eyes locked with mine we shared a silent communication, we were doing it, we were moving on and – together – we had the rest of our lives to live.

* * *

**I don't really know how singers get signed or anything like that so I apologise for the vagueness.**

**Small Bump is by Ed Sheeran and I changed a couple of lyrics, or rather words, to fit the story but once again we are pretending Edward and Bella wrote the song :)**

**Epilogue to be posted soon. Really soon. I promise.**

**Review!**


	19. Epilogue: Fearless

**This is it! The last chapter! I have one word for you all...Enjoy :D**

* * *

Epilogue  
Fearless

Adrenaline was pumping through my body. After ten years of doing this I still managed to get butterfly's in my stomach, but it was a good nervousness, without the nerves I knew it would be absolute rubbish.

The butterfly's were an old friend of mine and I welcomed them with open arms.

I could hear screams and shouts, the people moving around me were a blur of black and someone suddenly came at me with the ultimate form of torture.

Make-up.

"Alice," I whined, trying to slap her away, "You've already done this."

"Just a few touch ups," she protested, proceeding to dab a bit of lip-gloss on me brush at my cheeks with some blusher before fluffing my hair.

Yep. Ten years and I still hadn't managed to get rid of the damn pixie. Now, not only was she my best friend, she was also my hair and make-up artist. Why I had allowed to give her this sort of power over me I'll never know.

I huffed as I stumbled a little in my ankle boot heels as I tried to pull down the too short dress Rosalie had put me in while trying to keep it pulled up and covering my boobs at the same time. Yep, Rose was my costume designer too.

Didn't manage to escape from the boys either, wherever the girls went, they followed, so at the moment they were probably holding off the screaming fans whilst cursing their significant others.

Not long after we graduated from Forks High School did Emmett and Rose get married. It had been a long time coming and none of us were surprised. The battle of the maid of honors soon commenced – though that was until I realized I would have to walk down the isle, probably in heels, and all but shoved the role onto Alice. I got to help plan the hen night though and all I can say was that all it brought back was the memory of the morning after and not many memories of the night before.

Alice and Jasper had yet to tie the knot but they were engaged and I was dreading the day she began to plan her wedding, she would be the ultimate bridezilla and I wasn't looking forward to it.

"Where's Edward?" I asked Rose who had just walked in with Eleazar, mine and Edward's manager.

"On stage," Rose said, "He's finishing up his solo."

"Yeah, which means you're on in five." Eleazar added.

"Brilliant," I murmured, tugging once again at the dress.

"Stop it!" Rose slapped at my hands and I threw them up in the air.

"It's moot point anyway because it's the last song of the night."

Both girls rolled their eyes and Eleazar handed me the single item of clothing that I was about to willingly wear.

"It's tradition," I smirked as I pulled on Edward's sexy leather jacket. The girls didn't look at all impressed but Alice eventually sighed.

"She does look pretty hot when she puts it on."

I grinned and shot Rose a smug look, "Thanks."

The day Edward and I had gone to sing for those very important people – who Eleazar had promised wouldn't regret listening – changed our lives forever.

Needless to say, we got signed and everything had just gone on a crazy whirlwind of action from there.

All of a sudden we were making singles and albums and playing at concerts and touring and signing autographs and taking pictures with people who were screaming our names.

The first few years were crazy and we were pretty much living out of a suitcase at the numerous different hotels but we loved it. We didn't mind not having a place to call home because while we were on tour, Edward and I were each other's homes. We were all we needed.

I could hear Edward coming to the final notes of his song and Eleazar pushed me round the corner and to the edge of the stage and waited.

The music died down and I heard Edward's voice – no longer singing – talking to the crowd.

"Alright people, sadly this will be the last song of the night," the crowd groaned and Edward chuckled, "I know, I know. But seeing as it's the last song of the night we better make it a good one and we need to make some noise." The crowd screamed and clapped and cheered. "Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for my one and only, beautiful wife, Bella Cullen!"

Listening to Edward talk to the audience only reminded me of another time he had done so with a completely different intention. I smiled and shook my head as I remembered.

We were performing another concert, much like this one about two years after the big signing. We had just performed one of our songs together and I left the stage to get changed and ready for the last song while Edward performed one of his solos.

I stopped in my tracks when instead of beginning to sing he began to talk over the sound of the lullaby he had written for me when we first met.

"Ladies and gentlemen, there have been a little change of plans," he began, "And right now Bella's probably freaking out not having the slightest clue what I'm doing so I better explain. I wrote this song for Bella when we first met back in Forks and this might come as a surprise to you all but I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure she absolutely hated me."

The crowd laughed along with him and all I could think was what the hell was he doing? So I told myself to shut up and listen.

"Well, maybe hate is too strong of a word, but I infuriated her because I was a bit of an ass towards her." I saw him shrug from where I was stood just to the side off stage. "But I'm pretty sure all women here will back me up when I say us guys, we're all asswipes when we like a girl and don't know what to do about it."

I snorted.

"But despite my cockiness and my arrogance and being the general pain the in the neck that I was, she stuck around. To this day, I'm still not sure why. Bella stuck around long enough to find out everything about me and even after she knew the truth about everything, she still stayed. I have no idea how I got so lucky. But I know now that I would do anything and everything to keep her. So, Bella, if you'd come out here for a second, please, sweetheart?"

I found my feet moving me towards him effortlessly until he stood, ceasing his playing the piano but my lullaby sounded through the speakers, pre-recorded. The audience screamed when they saw me, and Edward smiled brightly, standing in front of me and taking my hands in his.

Then when he spoke, once again it was directed to the crowd. "None of you know, either, and I'm sure neither does Bella, that I'm aware that ever since the first day she saw me that she has been infatuated with what she calls my "sexy-leather-jacket"."

I covered my face with my hands as I groaned, the sound amplified for all to hear due to the small microphone clipped to my dress.

The audience and Edward laughed and I looked up at him to see him shrugging out of said jacket.

"Bella," he said, putting it on me, "I want you to wear my sexy leather jacket and I never want you to take it off." He took my hands then bent to kneel on one knee. I gasped and the crowd screamed. He pulled out a box from one of the pockets of the jacket I was wearing and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. "And if you'll take me," he said, "I want you to have me and to never let me go."

Tears filled my eyes and I blinked as they rolled down my cheeks to clear my vision.

"Bella Swan, would you do me the amazing honor of marrying me, and becoming my wife?"

The building was silent aside from my lullaby, and the crowd as one seemed to hold its breath, as did Edward.

With a voice shaking with emotion though strong and determined and fearless with my answer and I said…"Yes."

The audience erupted into screams and shouts and claps.

"Yes, of course I will, yes, yes, yes."

Edward beamed as tears filled his eyes and he slid the ring onto my finger before he stood and lifted me into his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands clutched his hair as he kissed me like he had never kissed me before. He buried his face in my neck holding me tight as I kissed him all over.

He pulled away as I slid to my feet and he grinned, "Good, because I would have shat myself if you said no in front of one hundred thousand people."

The audience laughed with us.

Then a song came on through the speakers that wasn't one of our own.

I couldn't help but laugh as I turned to the audience, "I know you people all paid to hear us sing, but would you mind terribly if I danced with my soon-to-be-husband to the song we first ever danced to?"

When the crown began to chant, "Dance, dance, dance." I took that as a yes as the lyrics to Smile sounded throughout the building and filled my happily bursting heart with joy.

Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Esme, Carlisle, Charlie and Katie all ran out after a few minutes to dance with us on stage and congratulate us as the crowd cheered and clapped and danced along too.

I smiled at the memory before going through my traditional routine before entering the stage for the last song. I took a whiff of the sleeves of Edward's sexy leather jacket, jingled my wrist so I could feel the homemade beaded bracelet forming the word "Mommy" against my skin and took to the stage to join Edward.

Not long after we had bought a house, a comfortably bigger than usual one, we got married. There had been no fights over who was maid of honor as I chose Alice and Rosalie both to be by my side on the biggest day of my life. To my surprise, Carlisle was Edward's best man. Their relationship had come on leaps and bounds since the day Edward and he had that talk but much like with Rosalie's hen night, Jasper and Emmett still insisted that they organized Edward's stag do. Carlisle had no objections – he was ecstatic enough that Edward had chosen him to be best man at all.

Alice and Rosalie were shocked that I hadn't given Jasper and Emmett a "no strippers rule" but what the girls didn't know was that I knew them far too well and wasn't surprised at all when a stripper showed up at my own hen night. I thought if I was going to have a stripper then Edward should have one too.

I was pleasantly surprised the day of our wedding after the ceremony when Edward thanked me but asked me never to let Jasper and Emmett get him a stripper again and that if anyone was allowed to strip for him it would be me and only me.

To say I was happy about that was be an understatement but Jasper and Emmett were in the doghouse for not having the same views as Edward. Haha!

Edward and I had spoken about having a family and despite us both definitely wanting children, we weren't going to be upset if it happened later rather than sooner.

We stopped contraception on our wedding night but for some reason didn't expect to become pregnant so soon. A year later, Collin was born.

Esme cried when we told her what we were going to call him. That was a happy day. But I had never been happier than when our son was placed in Edward's arms. Seeing the deep, burning emotion in his eyes as we gazed down at our son through his tears, was indescribable.

As we watched him grow it was plain to see that he was the spitting image of his daddy but had my personality completely. He was a real mommy's boy.

The same couldn't be said for our little girl, Amelia. Millie was Collins opposite, my look-alike with Edward's character.

You could totally tell she was Edward's daughter when she rolled her eyes at her big brother's antics.

Collin, only two years older, took on his role of big brother seriously. He'd wind Millie up, pick on her, pull her hair and ruin her games but would kill anyone else who even thought about trying to do the same.

And Mille gave as good as she got, never hesitating to retaliate to her brother's mischievousness, which she usually did by embarrassing him in front of our neighbor's little girl who he had a huge crush on. For a five year old, our girl was smart.

They both were.

There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about the baby Edward and I had lost and though we hadn't told the kids _how_ we lost the baby, whenever they were scared or upset they knew they had a big brother or sister sitting up in heaven with Nana Renee, watching down on them and keeping them safe.

Despite our hectic career we always made time to spend with the kids. We hadn't missed a single first smile, or word, or step and we weren't planning on missing anything else.

We spent every weekend with them and every morning and evening and every free day we had from work, be it interviews or music videos or recording at the studio, we spent it with the kids who – though lapped up and benefited from out lifestyle – were never spoilt. We made sure of that. They knew that their grandparents were for the spoiling, not Mommy and Daddy.

Collin and Millie loved our job, they loved watching our interviews, especially when we talked about them – which was a lot – they were our whole world. They loved watching our music videos and our performances on stage and sang along to all our songs. They were pretty proud of the fact that there were many we had written about them. But to our kids, we would always just be Mom and Dad, and that was the way we liked it.

I made my way to sit next to Edward on the piano stool and the audience screamed when they saw me in the jacket.

Ever since the proposal I always wore the jacket for the last song of a concert.

Edward pressed a kiss to my cheek as he began to play the opening notes of the song and some people wolf whistled making me laugh and Edward chuckle.

And together we sang. We sang of a lesson we had learned whilst getting from the day we met to where we were now.

He turned to face me when we both sucked in a breath for the chorus.

"There's always gonna be another mountain  
We're always gonna wanna make it move  
Always gonna be a uphill battle  
Sometimes we're gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast we get there  
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side  
It's the climb."

"Mommy that was so good!" Millie squealed, running at me at full speed before jumping into my arms backstage after the show.

"Thanks baby girl, did you like it?"

She nodded enthusiastically as Esme laughed, "We had to all but solder her to the seat to stop her running out there to sing with you."

I grinned, placing a big kiss on her cheek.

I looked away from her to see Collin pulling both Carlisle and Charlie with all his might, one of their hands in each of his as they talked about something he clearly had no interest in.

"Mom, dad!" He called to us before dropping his grandfathers' hands and rushing to us. Millie was reaching for Edward, clearly needing her daddy fix before her brother came to hog all his attention, so I passed her to him and she snuggled into his chest as he held her close, rocking her gently from side to side and murmuring to her.

Collin wrapped his arms around my legs and I bent to give him a kiss. "Mom!" He huffed, wiping his cheek.

Edward laughed along with the rest of us who all knew how much of a mommy's boy our son really was and secretly had no objection to the show of affection. If Collin and I had been alone, he would have lapped it up.

I ran my fingers through his mess of bronze hair, so much like his fathers, "Have you been good?"

Collin nodded, "I'm always good."

I raised my eyebrow and he smiled sheepishly, "Most of the time."

He lifted his arms indicating he wanted to be picked up. Never in a million years would he have done this in front of his friends at school but he was probably tired, it was past the kids' bedtime – it was summer holiday's so we allowed them to come to our concerts sometimes – and was most likely jealous of the attention Millie was getting and wanted the same treatment.

I lifted him onto my hip.

"Time for bed I think." Edward said, turning to face Collin and I with Millie's eyes drooping from where her head rested on his shoulder.

The kids shook their heads but Millie yawned which only made Collin yawn who rolled his eyes with a sigh, and wrapped his arms around my neck, closing them.

I kissed his temple and looked over to see Millie already snoring lightly in Edward's arms.

I smiled at said man as he looked up from where he had been covering Millie with one of his hoodies and mouthed to me, "I love you."

"I love you back," I whispered.

I beamed because I definitely wasn't scared anymore. Edward had taught me how to live rather than just meander as I watched life go by. He taught me how to live on the edge yet without fear. So with him by my side I could stand on stage in front of millions of people and sing my heart out. I could stand in the middle of my living room with toys scattered everywhere looking like a war zone, knowing I would have to clean it all up. I could dance and act in front of a camera for a music video and I could hold his hand tightly in mine, take a deep breath and wipe away a tear as we waved our kids off on their first day of school. On our journey through life, no matter what it brought us, I could deal with it because Edward was my home and because with him…I was fearless.

The End

* * *

**Awwww ;) wasn't that nice?**

**I'm gonna miss this Bella and Edward - especially with his sexy leather jacket :P**

**The links to Bella's clothes for the concert can be found on my profile, and the song is Miley Cyrus' but (for the last time) we are pretending it's Bella's and Edward's. **

**Thanks to all who supported this story!**

**AND...**

**Review!**


End file.
